Of course, Xu Jiannan understood what this so-called quarrel meant, and it was obvious that Bai Ling was living in a family with a broken relationship.

Bai Ling continued: "When I was a child, my mother would take me to meet her lover, and then on the way home, teach me how to lie and deceive my father. At the time, I was five years old, and I probably didn't have much talent for lying...... Ha, so the lie was leaked, because of this, I was also beaten, and I was beaten in a deep impression, and I still remember it vividly. It's not because of how hard I was beaten, but because I was beaten, because I didn't tell a good lie. ”

Such a "deep memory" is naturally not a good thing, and such a deep memory is almost equivalent to laying the foundation for Bai Ling to grow up with all kinds of causes and effects. Xu Jianan's voice was soft, and he said softly: "Such an unpleasant experience should be a memory that you want to forget in your heart." Later, did everything get better?"

Bai Ling replied: "I can't talk about getting better, I have lived in lies since I was a child, wandering between deceiving people and being deceived. It has become a common thing to deceive my father. When I was a child, I probably didn't have any sense of right and wrong, I just knew that if I didn't help lie, I would get beaten. Then I was not less deceived, I longed for the sea since I was a child, and my mother always told me that the summer would take me, and the summer would take me, and this time it would be nineteen years. When I was nineteen years old, I went to the beach alone and saw the sea for the first time. So...... My personality seems to be difficult to get along with. Speaking of this, Bai Ling frowned.

Xu Jiannan continued: "You are not difficult to get along with, but it is difficult for you to trust others. From a certain point of view, this can be regarded as a kind of self-protection ability. Wandering in lies leads you to know the lie too well, and as soon as others open their mouths, you may already know the truth and falsehood. This can make it difficult for you to have too deep contact with strangers. Promises that have never been fulfilled will teach you not to put your hopes in anyone. Because the first sea is what you bring to see. Since then, the only person you can trust in your life is yourself. You don't like to pin your dreams and wishes on someone else, because that makes you feel uncertain, everyone can change their minds at any time, and that feeling of not being able to control can make you panic. Over time, your pattern of getting along will become, unwilling, and unwanted, to 'trouble' anyone. This premise is created again, I don't trouble you, and you don't bother me. That's why you think you're not easy to get along with, right? ”

After listening to Xu Jianan, Bai Ling, who was lying on the sofa, nodded excitedly: "Yes, Doctor Xu, you know me too well...... I have no one behind me, how dare I not be strong? I have lived in lies and betrayals since I was a child, how dare I trust others easily? I have seen how powerful she is, so I don't want to live like her. This is also the reason why, even today, after 30 years of forced learning, I still disdain to lie. ”

"I can see that you have a clear height in your bones, not only a bookish high spirit. So how did you get started in this job?" Xu Jiannan got to know her parents and began to understand her work.

Bai Ling smiled bitterly and said, "It's hard to get along with people like me, and I probably can't do any other work except writing." When I was a child, other girls were playing with dolls, playing games with children, or accompanying their parents, but when I was a child, the entertainment program was a little different, and there were second-hand books sold on the roadside at that time, and my grandfather would buy me those stories and let me read them. From chattering about strange things to Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tales, when I was about four years old, I had already read them all badly. I'm grateful that quiet childhood gave me a job that I am now qualified for. It's the only job I can do. When it comes to his grandfather, Bai Ling is always smiling. It was as if it was the only warmth and good memories of her life.

Xu Jiannan summed up Bai Ling's personality characteristics based on these experience descriptions, but there was a little conflict, which made her a little confused. So she asked, "With your family, childhood, we remember all the way to your adulthood." But I think you should be resistant to marriage from the bottom of your heart, right? Can you talk about your emotional experience? I'm curious about what kind of person can warm your heart and make you believe in love. ”

When talking to Bai Ling, you can't have too many roundabout words. It's too false to induce, she can hear it at once. With her character, when she hears the falsehood, I'm afraid she won't want to continue talking.

Bai Ling closed her eyes and smiled softly, the sun shining on her face, and her complexion was almost transparent. Xu Jianan looked at her like this and listened to her say sweetly: "My lover is indeed a very special person. At the lowest point of my life, he was the one who survived me every step of the way. I've been living alone all these years and have almost forgotten what it means to be afraid. After having him, those moments of lightning and thunder, wind and power outages, he accompanied me over, and with him, I was not afraid of anything. Even though I don't have to go out to work, I still need to be in contact with the outside world. My parents, my readers, and even those strangers sometimes make me sad, and he accompanies me when I am most painful, in the worst mood, and in the most difficult time. I used to really not be able to believe in love and resist marriage. I don't want to be a woman like my mom, and I don't want to marry a man like my dad. From a very young age, they shattered my illusions about love. After becoming an adult, all kinds of experiences have seen through the warmth and coldness of people, and the world is hot and cold. Although I don't have many friends, but what I have seen, known, and heard of, there is no love and marriage that I feel envious and desire. Their lives are full of quarrels, betrayals, and disappointments. The first love, the final dislike of each other, and even self-destruction. I want love, it can be imperfect, but at least it can't ruin everything I have. So, I went around in circles, always resisting everyone. If you pursue me, I will naturally refuse. Even if one or two have been gone for a long time, I can feel that I am treated sincerely, but when it comes to marriage, I still choose to flee. I can't, I don't dare, imagine signing with a man at the Civil Affairs Bureau, and as long as I think about it, I feel scared. But the funny thing is that I'm not very traditionally conservative in my thinking, and I don't think there's anything shameful about divorce. Marriage does not have to be for happiness. But divorce must be for happiness. It's not that I can't accept that marriage fails, I just can't accept that marriage begins. Probably it was my destroyed view of love that left me with the only remaining obsession...... That is, I take that piece of paper very seriously. I didn't want to settle, I didn't want to be disappointed, so I chose to refuse. ”

Hearing this, Xu Jiannan was a little shocked to discover some truths. It was like nothing she'd ever seen before...... The specific situation still needs to be confirmed, but at present, it is almost certain that she has a conjecture in her heart.

Xu Jianan asked: "I can understand what you are talking about, and I can fully understand your choice." However, your current lover has changed your bottom line and principles that you can't change, hasn't it?"

Speaking of her lover, Bai Ling smiled shyly again, like a girl who had just fallen in love, plus she was already beautiful, and her beautiful face was like shining in the sun. It's just that at this moment, Xu Jiannan looks at her beauty again, and feels a little sad in her heart.

Bai Ling closed his eyes and said with a smile, "Yes...... He's not like any other man. He knows what I want, and he can give me what I want. I don't need to expect a man to give me a rich life, my job allows me to support myself and my parents. What I need is a spiritual fit, a clean relationship. No lies, no betrayal, no noise. The person I love, that's exactly how he loves me and gives me everything I want. How many difficult nights, without him, I don't think I would be in this world, or I would have had a nervous breakdown and gone completely crazy. Do you know, Dr. Xu, no matter how difficult the road in this world is, as long as I think of him, I feel that all the pain is worth it, as long as I think about him, I feel that I can still bear it. He is all my spiritual support, all my life's support......"

"Is that so......" Xu Jiannan looked at Bai Ling's sweet and happy smile with some sadness.

Bai Ling pursed his lips and smiled: "Yes! Don't you feel very useless when you say it, all the support of life comes from a man." There are also many people who don't believe that there will be such a man in this world at all. To be honest, I don't believe it either. No matter how good a man I met before, when they chased me for a while, I would find out...... Oh, but that's it. They were all exactly the same, and they all had drawbacks that I couldn't accept and tolerate. But my lover is not like this, his good, his bad, his character and temperament, I love both. I like to wake up and look at him every day, I like him to sleep with me every day, when I cry, when I laugh, he can feel it. I often think that God probably saw the bumpy road in the first half of my life and gave me happiness in the second half of my life. What a privilege...... To have such a love ......"

Xu Jianan didn't speak, she looked at this beautiful woman who was sick from her dream, and couldn't say a word for a long time. She was afraid that if she said it, her dream would be shattered...... Looking at her good-looking smile and happy appearance now, Xu Jiannan didn't like her work very much for the first time. Because what she wants to do is to puncture her happy dreams. But is that really good for her......