I found myself in a strange circle, I was short of money, and I thought about going to work part-time. People asked me what I thought about this holiday, part-time.

What are you going to do at that time? I think I can do everything if I don't have money and a part-time job. A friend of mine said, you are hopeless, you think about part-time jobs every day, and your good youth is wasted on part-time jobs, the key is that part-time jobs can't make money, which is the most important thing.

Wasting time and not making any money is really worth the loss. This strange circle is left over from the university, which went to work part-time on weekends and Sundays, and then went to Xinjiang after graduation and never had a part-time job.

I resigned in August this year, one of the reasons for my resignation was because my parents were afraid that I would settle there in the future, and the other was because my parents were old and needed to be taken care of by their side, so they resigned and came back.

In September, I completed my plan for my natal year and went out for a trip. In October, my mother was unwell and brought to Nanjing to see a doctor, and she has been taking medicine for a follow-up visit until now.

Last week, my father was unwell and took him to the hospital for a check-up, and the results were fine, not a big problem. I got a job here in October, and everything is fine, but sometimes it's really uncomfortable.

After I resigned, I stayed at home, and I felt that if I went down to have an accident, I would go out to work part-time, but at the end of the day, I was still very anxious.

I don't know what my goals are? I don't know what I want to do? I don't know what I'm interested in?

What's even more terrifying is that I don't know what to do next? Am I too egoistic? Every step I take is my own choice, and every decision I make is irreversible.

Missing is missing, no matter how much you chase it, it's a white horse, and time is gone and never returns. I'm lost, I can't find the direction to go, I can't find motivation, I'm decadent, I'm not as passionate and scrappy as I was when I was 20 years old.

The last time my sister came, she saw that I was very disappointed, so she asked me, "Aren't you unemployed?"

Do you feel so lonely right now? Maybe it's because I don't have too much dopamine in my head.

It's time to run more and let all the dopamine secrete. And I also noticed a strange thing, I sometimes worked part-time in the restaurant, and I always found that in the restaurant or in the restaurant, there was always a young girl, or a young man, eighteen or nineteen, in his early twenties.

There are very few older ones. I asked the little girl I was working with today, and it felt small, but the job has changed a lot, and all you see in the restaurant are young girls and young men.

Someone must ask, and I don't recruit the elderly. It's like that, but the younger generation of us always live like this, so can we still see hope?

I've been asking myself today, is this what you want to live like in the future? I think I'm ugly today when I'm busy and inactive.

I'm not discriminating against this job, no matter what kind of job it is, every job deserves respect, it's just that I'm not very happy with my life now.

But I don't know how to correct it. It's a headache. After getting off work at night, my uncle who worked part-time with me today pulled me into the part-time group, and then he kept saying that there was no or nothing.

What part-time jobs earn more, and what part-time jobs can be more lazy. At that time, I really felt that the platform was really important, what kind of people you come in contact with, what kind of people are around you, unless you work hard, it's really hard for you to change it.

I feel that it is difficult for me to change the circle I live in now, although I really want to correct it and work hard, but I still feel that I have been in this circle and cannot escape.

When will I be able to change this state of life???