"This one...... Maybe I'm used to it, I'm sorry. ”

As if he had just realized this, Ye Lingxing put away his smile slightly.

But soon, what kind of ...... appeared on his face Just the right amount of laughter.

Delicately stuck on a scale that is polite enough and very easy to feel comfortable with.

- Is this also a habit?

Well, presumably a habit he acquired.

It has nothing to do with me.

"I would like to invite you to make an animation for our project. Considering that the person he was facing at the moment was not an ordinary person, Guan Li chose to speak out about his intentions, leaving behind all politeness and detours.

He also doesn't bother to think about the so-called "basics of interpersonal communication".

Such a straightforward approach successfully received negative feedback from Ye Lingxing, "I refuse." ”

Guan Li looked directly at the other party and asked, "Can you tell me the reason?"

"I'm not suitable. Ye Lingxing restrained a smile, "Animation production is something that requires a lot of concentration to do, and I can't do it anymore." ”

"Because of your mental condition?"

He was stunned for a moment by the sudden turn of the topic, and followed Guan Li's words for half a beat before entering into thought, "You really checked my information." Yes, this is also one of the main reasons. ”

Guan Li certainly understood what he meant.

According to the information found by the system, Ye Lingxing's psychological state was not only bad, but he was simply hovering on the verge of collapse.

Abnormal emotional perception, loss of interest in everything, and gradual germination of misanthropy;

Slow thinking and movements, difficulty in responding to external stimuli in a timely manner, and overall decline in memory and attention;

self-loathing thoughts, the denial of one's own behavior and thinking, the emergence and even implementation of suicidal intentions;

"Melancholic cognition, agitated depression, I was supposed to be like that. Ye Lingxing got up and poured a glass of cold water from the water dispenser next to him, only took a shallow sip, and didn't drink it.

Guan Li looked at the empty coffee table in front of him, and simply got up and found a disposable paper cup from under the water dispenser, poured a cup of hot water and brought it back.

"......" Ye Lingxing watched his behavior silently, and suddenly laughed, "You are really interesting." ”

"Yes. Guan Li looked indifferent.

He didn't know why this man only drank cold water, so he turned on the water dispenser.

Could it be that this is also a habit?

"You know, I studied psychology, and I know what depression should look like, and I know what a normal person should look like. Ye Lingxing smiled on his face and seemed to have a bit of real warmth, "The tests they gave me were all the ones I had tried myself. ”

"So...... Is it fake?" Guan Li raised an eyebrow.

As long as the level of professionalism is high enough, it is not impossible to disguise yourself as mentally ill.

But there is no reason.

Why make such a disguise that has no positive effect.

"No, the state of illness is real. Ye Lingxing stared at the undulating water waves in the cup and denied his speculation, "That's a fact that was diagnosed before I started to teach myself psychology. ”

If it weren't for this, he wouldn't have given up his major in art and culture and chose psychology instead.

No one knows better than himself—

How those nightmarish negative emotions are everywhere, those darkness that cannot be erased or forgotten are entangled in him.

How do those with psychological problems live?

Just like ordinary people, they can also be painful and sad.

But the pain does not pass, but is repeated in a haphazard manner.

Like the smell of nothingness in the air, the whispers heard in the dark.

Unable to find its concrete form, he had to flee.

"I've been thinking a lot of times—" Faced with the sudden arrival of strangers, an impulse drove Ye Lingxing to say what he thought he would never tell to people, "What's the point of living?"

"You see, my past, high-achieving students, youth innovation awards, can be regarded as a success, right?"

"But even if I let go of all my past identities and become a crunch in my room, the world still runs as usual. ”

"Nothing has changed, so it seems that I exist in the world, but it is of no use. ”

"The birth that is not expected, the growth that is not blessed, the past that is not looked at...... Sure enough, people like me will not be liked anywhere. ”

"Everyone was so nice and it would be better if I didn't. ”

"Forget it...... I don't want to say anything...... "His mood suddenly dropped, "it's better to shut up forever." ”

The system really thinks that this person is not lightly ill, and inexplicably feels that he is a little pitiful, "Administrator, or we ......"

Guan Li ignored it and spoke, and his tone was unceremoniously: "Isn't this what you asked for yourself?

......, "Administrator, take it easy, what if he can't think of committing suicide?"

"That's right, it's my fault in the end. Ye Lingxing, who was stared at by the system in horror, for fear that he would drill the tip of the bull's horns, paused for two seconds after saying this, thoughtful.

When he raised his head again, his signature smile had reappeared on his face, "I'm sorry for you to hear such a complaint, do you want to give up on me?" I can give you the contact information of the other production staff of "Heart Like the Ocean", they are also very powerful people." ”

"In my opinion, your character is really powerful. ”

If Guan Li only speculated on Ye Lingxing's character image based on paper data before, he felt that he was a rare animation talent......

Now he was completely attracted to this man's character.

This kind of person who can still laugh on the verge of collapse......

"Haven't thought about suicide?"

"It's already caused a lot of trouble for other people, and suicide will only cause more trouble. ”

It will cause trouble for both the police and the psychotherapy center he has visited.

"It makes sense to think that way, suicide is a very bad idea to escape. Guan Li said that his ideas were very good.

Ye Lingxing nodded in agreement, "You just need to reduce your sense of existence, meaningless people will be forgotten sooner or later." ”

"But do you really want to be forgotten completely?"

"Really...... Don't want to. Ye Lingxing's answer this time was almost without hesitation, "I know it's just because of my own psychological problems." ”

This self-loathing thinking is wrong, pathological, and should be erased.

He knows it well, better than anyone.

It just can't be changed.

The knowledge that Ye Lingxing has learned has become the biggest obstacle to treatment, and he knows that the existing treatment methods on the market are no longer guided to a psychological state according to the established effect, but automatically analyzes the consequences of this operation.

The greatest tragedy of mankind lies in the utter despair of reason for itself.

"So let's think differently. Guan Li finally found an opportunity to cut to the chase, "Let go of those thinking patterns that force empathy, I know you can do it." ”

Because even he, who was once forcibly locked at the highest level of empathy, can do it.

"Pick up the self-identity thing a little, this time, just ask your own heart-"

The call at the bottom of consciousness is often unheard, but it is never dead.

"Ye Lingxing, do you want to do animation?"

Break out of the cage and fight as you please.

"Not to live for others, not to live for yourself in the eyes of others, but for your own ......"

- It would be nice if it could be a little more useful, a little bit.

"Do you have the courage?"

Guan Li sent a question to the young man in front of him, and the only time the qualification was verified.

SCP-3999's state of mind and determination, the courage that bursts forth from the deepest depths of loneliness and despair.

He hoped to see such emotions in Ye Lingxing.