In this way, another semester began in September, and it was also the last semester of my academic career, the fourth year of the graduation season of the technical secondary school. With the passage of time and the deepening of the emotional exchange between the two sides, the two seem to be more and more inseparable from each other, and they don't see each other for a day, as if they are every other autumn, although they meet and are limited to holding hands, walking around the park together, I seem to be the second nephew of Uncle Plato. She seemed to know a lot more than I did.

Once, when I was visiting the park, she sat next to me and asked me quietly and implicitly: "After graduation, what are your plans and preparations? Would you like to stay in Changzhou or Wujin to develop?!" And I didn't seem to understand what she meant or what her intentions were: "After graduation, go back to my hometown and build my hometown better!" It's just that her brows are a little more cramped and uneasy, and I see that she speaks a lot less and is more pensive...... If I could turn back time, I would like to go back to the scene and drown that invincible man in the river!

The correspondence seemed to mean nothing less, and until the day before I left school before I graduated, I was still rummaging through her letters in the mailbox of the communication room. On the weekend before graduation, she invited me to her best friend Pan Yonghua's home again, and said affectionately: "Brother, you are about to graduate, sister, please accept one of my thoughts." "It was a very beautiful electronic watch, I liked it very much, I believe it was a gift she personally chose for me, and it was the first gift in my life, and I was very touched, of course, even a rag she gave would be like a treasure. She put the electronic watch on the spot, and then said to me bluntly, "My dad wants you to go to work in his factory, okay?" I fell into deep thought and was also full of emotion, on the one hand, it is said that my father implemented the matter of going to the town ** work, on the other hand, I have heard of her solid family background, my inferiority complex has been making trouble, I feel that I go as if I am eating soft rice, although I know that I am definitely qualified for any job, although we also like each other very much, I actually rejected her.

After graduating and going home and waiting for a while, I took the watch she gave me to work in the town, and I never left the watch, except for taking it off when I took a shower, and I had to wear it to sleep to feel solid. Until one day when I was playing football in the yard, I was smashed by the ball, I have been affectionately keeping the residue of the electronic watch, and every time in the dead of night, I will open the box and stare at it quietly in a daze, until ...... until you fall asleep quietly......

After her repeated hints and gestures were rejected, coupled with the various difficulties and unsatisfactory encounters after I arrived at the ** job, the mood to contact her was also lowered, and the result was of course conceivable...... The correspondence fell into the cold winter, until the correspondence turned into unrequited love, and became more and more faint and fewer words, I seemed to understand and gradually understand the words of my roommate when I was studying and entering school: Time is the killer of feelings. Maybe the love story that happens in every school seems to end up being the same.

I had a drawer full of letters she had written to me, and I didn't lose any of them, and when I couldn't fit them in the drawer, I was reluctant to throw away any of these earlier letters, even the envelopes, and there was really no place to put them, so I requisitioned the big wooden box in which my grandmother got married. When I knew that I couldn't recover such feelings, and when I couldn't adapt to the complicated interpersonal relationships in the agency, just after the Spring Festival in 2000, I submitted a letter of resignation to the mayor of the town, and I decided to resign and go to Kunshan to work to find my life dream, I spent several nights with tears in my eyes from the first letter to the last letter, my heart was full of infinite remorse and chagrin, I wrote a lyrical prose about the platonic sincere love between us, a full 20 pages, named "Autumn Rain" Printed out and bound in two volumes on fine kraft paper, one for her and one for me.

Early in the morning of May 6, 2000, when I packed my bags and went to Kunshan, I spent more than a month's salary (more than 1,000 yuan) to buy a set of imported cosmetics in Changzhou Shopping Center and package them into gift boxes, and bought a large bouquet of flowers with the written essay "Autumn Rain", and rushed to the Changzhou Benniu Town Central Primary School where she was teaching at that time and gave it to her. I stood stupidly at the gate of her school for a whole hour, until the doorman ran out to ask about the situation and let me in, and also took me to the back door of the classroom where she was in class, through the glass window of the classroom I saw her thinking about her day and night, and she also saw me, but the big eyes that I hadn't seen for two years had long since lost surprise and light; I don't know why she didn't even say hello to me, even if she said to wait for me to get out of class! I know that what I am waiting for is a wordless ending!

Because it was time to catch the train to Suzhou, I waved at her through the window and placed all the gifts on the handrail of the hallway outside the classroom. I knew I had lost my love forever, and set foot on the journey away from this sad city with my empty soul and that "autumn rain". At the end of the prose, I wrote: The autumn rain, falling on the leaves of the plane tree on the side of the road, is so poignant and moving, as if her tears are crystal clear...... Two years later, my girlfriend (now my wife) read this essay, and she asked, "Who wrote it, it's very well written!", and after I told her the story and the original story, I never found the "Autumn Rain" again.

There was once a sincere love in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. I regret it when I lose it, and there is nothing more painful in the world than this. If Heaven could give me a chance to do it again, I would say three words to you: 'I love you'. If I had to put a deadline on this love, I would like it to be 10,000 years!

I thought that the classic line of Journey to the West was about the monkey, but it was me who lived like a dog in the mirror......