In 2010, I just took care of my nephew's change of volunteer, and it didn't take long for my mother to tell me that your father had a blood clot in his cough sputum in the morning, why don't you take him to check it out? We highly suspect that the shadow on your father's chest CT is lung cancer, if you are not at ease, it is best for you to go to Shanghai University Hospital for a diagnosis, and our consultation should also be accurate......

I was stunned for a long, long time when I heard the doctor's words, and I couldn't even hear what he was saying behind me, but what I had been most worried about had happened, and I wished it wasn't true...... The stubborn father insisted on reading the examination report after the consultation, and when he saw the contents of the report, he pretended to be calm and returned to the townhouse with me, as if all this was as he expected.

"Old woman, in the near future, there is a little bird that will fly away first, and I can't accompany you in the cage......", as soon as he entered the door, he said to his childhood sweetheart, relying on each other, and his wife, who was in love with each other, said to her tears on the spot, when you look at her old tearful face, how entangled and uncomfortable in your heart, but I can't cry, I still have to be strong and have to find a suitable hospital for treatment!

When I learned that a neighbor of my brother-in-law's hometown was working as a nurse in Shanghai Dahai Hospital and knew a professor of respiratory medicine, I immediately jumped in the car and went straight to Shanghai Dahai Hospital to find a professor. On the way to Shanghai alone, I called my uncle and uncle about the results of my father's examination, and they told me one after another on the phone: "Don't treat him, it's transferred to the lungs, there is no way to save it, don't waste money!" After hanging up their phone, I just got on the Shanghai-Nanjing Expressway to Shanghai, the car music is playing Jacky Cheung's song "Heart is like a knife", the heart is uncomfortable and blocked, it is really like a heart like a knife, all of a sudden all the suppressed emotions in the car are all poured out, tears unconsciously slipped out of the eye frame, one after another, each tear represents my father's selfless help, encouragement, support, comfort and his repentance and teaching, he is my mentor, close friend, It is also an example and a benchmark for me to learn from all my life. If I don't treat him according to my uncle and uncle's advice, I will definitely be unbearable and restless for the rest of my life. The way to Shanghai was sprinkled with my tears, sprinkled with my love for my father, and I cried so unconsciously when I couldn't hide it, so that when I found the nurse friend in my brother-in-law's hometown in Shanghai, she was concerned about asking me what was going on with my eyes, but unfortunately the professor was resting that day, but she promised to notify me immediately after contacting Professor Zhang; of course, the third sister and brother-in-law also kept telling their neighbor to help; after returning home, I didn't tell him about going to Shanghai to find a hospital and a doctor, I told him like a friend: "Dad, uncle, and uncle's opinions are all for me to give up your treatment, but son, what is your own opinion?"

He thought for a few seconds and then cautiously replied, "Son, no matter what, I still want to fight it, you see?"

"Great, Dad, I think the same way! We make our own decisions about our own lives, and we fight for ourselves!", I almost clenched my fists with excitement and wanted to jump up, although I was also a little worried about victory in my heart, "My son has already gone to Shanghai to find a hospital today! If I give up your treatment, I will never forgive myself for the rest of my life!"

Sure enough, within two days, my third sister and brother-in-law and I took my father to Shanghai Dahai Hospital to see Professor Zhang, who said that he would first do a puncture sampling for biopsy to determine the type and schedule of cancer. After all these operations were handled, Professor Zhang's assistant told me that you should go to the nearby community to rent a house, and it would take half a month to a month before there would be a bed; I immediately understood, and immediately went to Professor Zhang's office, and inserted the envelope that had been prepared in his coat pocket, asking him to implement the old man's treatment as soon as possible if he had a bed. To be honest, I didn't want my father's illness to be delayed for a day because I didn't get it done, and sure enough, I received a call from the hospital on the third day......

The tertiary hospitals here in Shanghai are all phased treatment, after completing a course of treatment, the patient will be asked to go home for a period of recuperation and then come to the next stage of treatment; my mother is always not at ease, insisting on following the old man who takes care of him in the hospital, we send the two of them to the hospital every time, and then accompany them to the restaurant near the hospital to have lunch after paying the admission fee, and then go to Shanghai Dahai Hospital to pick them up when the treatment is over, and then go to Shanghai Dahai Hospital to pick them up, after coming back, every night will give him a variety of high-protein soup and night sky, chemotherapy is too hurtfulAlmost at the beginning of the second stage of chemotherapy, I took them to Shanghai Longhua Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine to see a specialist outpatient clinic, with more than 10,000 yuan of Chinese herbal medicine to drink, Chinese and Western medicine at the same time interventional treatment, afraid that his body would not be able to bear it, I took the initiative to ask Professor Zhang of the hospital to use self-funded high-protein injections for him; and then through QQ to consult my postdoctoral fellow Tang Yiming, who studied medicine far away in Japan, Tang also repeatedly told me that the best medicine for treating cancer is actually the patient's mood, which is also a headache in Japan. In order to get better medical services, I took my father to Shanghai Cancer Hospital to see a specialist consultation for a special outpatient clinic without telling the sea hospital...... At that time, as long as there was progress and new drugs in the treatment of lung cancer, I would be like a fly desperate to pounce, when I learned that a molecular rake drug had come out to treat lung cancer, I immediately communicated with Professor Zhang whether it was possible to use this drug with good effect and less pain, Professor Zhang said that not all types of cancer are suitable for this drug, and it is necessary to do a good matching test, but the cost of this examination and this targeted drug are not reimbursed and are not covered by medical insurance. After spending nearly 6,000 oceans of testing costs, Professor Zhang told me that your father's non-small cell squamous cell carcinoma is not suitable for this molecular rake drug, and the effect may be counterproductive if it is used hard. Later, I learned through the news that Cuba is ahead of the United States in the treatment of lung cancer, and has developed the first effective lung cancer vaccine in mankind, when I proposed to my father that he wanted to take him to Cuba for medical treatment, he waved his hand and said to me: "Son, Shanghai is not a good disease, I don't want to toss anymore!"

Under my various tosses and efforts, his condition was suppressed and controlled for a while, but after all, cancer is a demon king, it is constantly changing and moving, almost a year later, the review report shows that it has been transferred from the left lung to the right lung, and at this time, Professor Zhang of Dahai Hospital seems to have no interest in the patient, and suggested that we be transferred to the 211 Hospital of the People's Liberation Army for gamma knife treatment, so Professor Zhang "kindly" "sold" us To the PLA 211 Hospital, well, it should be said that it is recommended......

The cost of gamma knife treatment in this hospital is quite expensive, and it is also a phased treatment, and it costs 40,000 or 50,000 yuan every time I am admitted to it, no matter it, as long as I can take care of his illness, I am willing to pay everything for him! The treatment effect in the 211 hospital can only barely last for a period of time, the cancer cells will eventually metastasize and spread like a hornet's nest after being irradiated by the gamma knife, and the doctors in the hospital are more just the patient as a carrier of lucrative profits, and they will never tell you the value of the patient's treatment, until the early morning of February 29, 2012, which happened to be a leap year, my father called me from the hospital weakly, and asked me to pick him up and discharge, giving up and dying; I immediately rushed to the 211 hospital of the Shanghai People's Liberation Army after receiving the callUnder my repeated inquiry, he told me, "Son, you don't understand, the cancer cells have metastasized and spread to the liver, and the liver is immune to drugs and drugs, so there is no therapeutic value, don't waste your money anymore, let's go home and wait!"

Of course, I didn't want to see my spiritual pillar collapse like this, and after calming and stabilizing his emotions, I rushed to his chief doctor to consult and confirm his condition, but the reply from the director was all kinds of affirmations, all kinds of treatment, no problem! When I turned back to the ward, he and my mother had already packed all their luggage and clothes, and when I sat on the edge of the bed with him and begged him to treat him again and not give up, he touched my head as he had sat on the edge of my bed as a child, looked at me with his kind and loving eyes that had lost their light and said, "Go home, don't waste money, I admit defeat!"

At that moment, I understood everything, the car had just driven out of the Shanghai boundary, he sat on the back seat and said to my mother and me: "My daughter-in-law and grandchildren may be worried that this disease will be contagious, you can send me directly back to the house in my hometown, and I can go to the local hospital in my hometown to hang up the saline." ”。 He has always been so careful to think about others, put himself in the shoes of others, even when he was at the lowest ebb of his life, and even when he couldn't even open the pot, he didn't allow his mother to call his son to support him...... I have a scene of the past in my mind, my throat can't help but feel a little blocked, my nose is a little sour, I change the position of the rearview mirror in the car, I don't want the tears in my eyes to be seen by him, I can't bear to give him any little bit of mental and spiritual burden, I am his pride and he is also my spiritual pillar!

On the way back to my hometown, he sat in the back and said to me again: "Before leaving, I want to remind your uncle: he still doesn't know who helped him!"

When I accompanied him to see a special needs clinic in Shanghai last year, he also told me about this in the car, and I advised him not to mention it again, not to talk about it again: "You don't expect your uncle to be filial and repay you, what's the point of saying it?!",

He insisted: "I don't want your uncle to repay me, but people can't be fools, he is my own brother after all, and he does some things a little too much!" I know that this is on his mind, and since that is the case, I will no longer oppose it and support him. On the way back, I also put forward a request and idea to him and my mother: "The affordable housing that my parents bought with all their might in the urban area of my hometown, I hope you make a will and how to distribute it, I never want to quarrel with my sisters or even go to court one day in the future, after all, in this year, there are many cases of relatives fighting for a little property, and cases of bloody heads abound, no matter how you two elders dispose of and distribute this property, my son guarantees that he will unconditionally comply with it!" ”。 Dad sat in the back seat and said, "Your sisters won't and won't fight you for this property." ”。 I didn't say anything, but what happened next made it clear that my analytical judgment was correct, and sure enough, my only uncle was ...... after my father was gone

I want to tell you: if there is me, there will be your day! I know how many tears of grief your eyes endure, how many thoughts your heart has, how sad my heart is when I think of it; if you want to cry, cry bitterly, my clothes are your tear towel; if you are tired, if you can't walk, I will carry you through your life, how I feel sorry for your injustice, but I can't bear a little burden for you......