Su Mu covered himself in the quilt and tossed for a long time, not knowing what he wanted to do, and he didn't know what he was thinking in his head. Every time she thought about these things, she felt as if her head was setting off fireworks, and all her thoughts were scattered and there was no way to put them together. She also hopes that she can face the problem calmly, but now that she thinks about it, she has a lot of problems, and as for her situation, it is not that she will not solve the problem at all, but she does not know what to solve first.

There is an old saying that "if you have more lice, you won't itch, and if you have more debts, you won't worry", Su Mu has always hoped that she can reach such a state, but it is obvious that she is still lacking in this skill, so every time at this time, she will feel anxious, as if she is completely wasting time.

In fact, during the time when Su Mu was not working, she could be regarded as having a full schedule. Every day, she reads, writes, practices calligraphy, does some of her favorite crafts, occasionally goes shopping by herself, and then watches all the movies shown in the cinema, chases American dramas, and follows the Thunderbolt puppet show, and even began to teach herself psychology. When he was busy like this, at the end of the day, Su Mu didn't even have time to chat with people. But somehow, this arrangement still couldn't make Su Mu's mind completely calm down and think about the problems she was facing. Over time, these problems have been pressed for a long time, and Su Mu's health has finally paid the price.

Su Mu was very aware of her problems, and she understood that she needed someone to guide her and listen to her story. She also tried to change the status quo and wanted to find friends to talk to her, but at this time, the thoughts in her heart were worse than the lamp god sealed in the lamp, and there was no possibility of pouring it out.

She couldn't say anything.

Probably because of her inferiority complex, Su Mu couldn't accept the praise of others calmly, let alone explore her true thoughts with anyone. Even in the virtual two-dimensional, Su Mu has reservations about what he wants to express. She really can't completely expose herself to another person, she is afraid that some people will think her thoughts are strange, afraid that someone will think she is fake, anyway, it can be summed up that she is afraid of everything, afraid that she is completely different from the free and easy she shows.

She admits that she is a liar and disguises herself in front of everyone, so she knows that she has retribution, and she can't get a true heart.

Su Mu has a lot of friends, but most of them are nodding friends, except for the three or four people who are in contact from time to time, in the city where she has lived for twenty-seven years, she wants to have someone to accompany her at any time by making a phone call, which is simply impossible. When she was young, Su Mu didn't think there was anything wrong with this, but until now, she understood these causes and consequences, and she began to get used to doing everything by herself.

Fortunately, the so-called loneliness is nothing for Su Mu, or in other words, loneliness is the only weapon that can protect Su Mu.

is in a very depressed state, and this state has become more and more obvious in Su Mu in recent years. She has always adhered to the idea of "if you don't want to be abandoned by others, you should abandon others first", so now, when she really needs help, she is still reluctant to choose to let others help.

Interaction between people requires affection, and Su Mu knows this very well, so she can accept her own contributions, but she can't accept others' contributions. Maybe it's because someone else pays a little bit that will make her feel panicked, and make her feel indebted when she leaves, so Su Mu is almost never used to accepting other people's kindness, even if it is a small help, she always has to do her best to pay it back.

In order to be able to walk more openly when she leaves, she doesn't have to feel indebted to her departure.

Like, every time she breaks up.

Su Mu has had several relationships, and in total, the first three have not been together as long as the fourth. However, putting aside the question of the length of time, Su Mu has always felt that she has not used her heart in these relationships, even if she has paid a lot in the process, and she has cried heartbreakingly after the breakup, and she has also said that she will not love this kind of thing anymore, but when she calmed down and thought about the past, she felt that the things she did, no matter how she thought about it, it seemed to be a play.

It may sound scary, but there is a big difference between "working hard to be a good girlfriend" and "I love you". For example, Su Mu did a lot of romantic things for her fourth boyfriend and took good care of him. This man's roommates are envious that she has such a good girlfriend as Su Mu, who doesn't do anything or makes trouble, is obedient and can take care of people, but when she thinks about it after the breakup, Su Mu feels that when she did those things at that time, it was really not because she loved him. She may just enjoy the process that made him fall in love with her, and presumably, this is called the desire to conquer.

Although when they were just together, Su Mu shed countless tears for him.

Although in the end, after a month of being in a different place with Su Mu, this man split his legs with another girl who had only known him for four days.

At the beginning, Su Mu didn't believe it at all, after all, the two had been together for two and a half years, even if he didn't give enough love, he wouldn't be able to withstand such waves. She also tried to redeem it, but later, when she found out that he began to show affection in the circle of friends, she knew that she would never have a chance again. Because he never introduced her to his friends before, and he didn't mention her existence in the circle of friends, but now he took the initiative to do these things, maybe he really loves that girl.

During the period of time when they just broke up, Su Mu once felt that the world was very unfair to her. Thinking that she paid so much for this relationship but got such an ending, she really found it difficult to accept. She kept trying to prove that girl really didn't have anywhere to compare to herself, and she didn't want to admit that she would be compared to others. But in the end, she realizes that the fact that he fell in love with the woman she thought was completely inferior to her was her biggest failure.

For this reason, she was depressed for a long time, and even if she finally returned to peace, she could not face such a betrayal. It wasn't until that person appeared that Su Mu suddenly discovered that maybe he was not as innocent and pitiful as he seemed in that relationship.