The night was deeper, the wine was sober, I zipped up my jacket, lit a cigarette, stepped on the light and shadow of the neon lights, and walked on the street in a daze, but my brain was thinking about those endless trivialities, I suddenly got a little tired of my current life, I wanted to do something for my life, but I didn't know where to start, so I was even more confused. Passing by a hotel, looking at the lights scattered from dozens of windows, it seems to peek into a pair of bodies on the bed one after another, so that the whole hotel is shaking.

This night, someone enjoyed it in a warm room

The ecstasy of the night, and some people walk on the streets like withering and endure the loneliness of the night. But it is precisely because of this contrast that the world seems so three-dimensional and real, I should understand that this world is originally a complex contradiction, loneliness and loss must always be borne by someone, so I don't have to be wronged, I don't have to complain.

But tonight's moonlight is so good, and there is nowhere to escape from the loneliness that shines on it, so please ask the immortals in the sky to turn off the power of the moon, I am willing to bear loneliness, but it does not mean that I am willing to expose loneliness to this red world!

When I returned to my residence, I habitually stood downstairs and looked, but I didn't see Zhang Rixuan's car, and went around to the opposite side of the building to see where the car was, Zhang Rixuan seemed to be used to parking the car here.

I squatted next to the car, smoked another cigarette and went upstairs, and then stood at the door of Zhang Rixuan's room for a while before knocking on her room, "Zhang Rixuan, have you slept?" I whispered.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I want to talk to you. ”

Zhang Rixuan replied unexpectedly: "There is nothing to talk about between us

"Let me at least say thank you to my face for tonight's events, thank you so much

"No need. Zhang Rixuan still rejected me with three words. "Yes, don't say I don't want to go!" I said that without Zhang Rixuan's consent, I opened the door of her room in the name of gratitude, the light in the room was still on, and Zhang Rixuan sat at the desk reading books, or materials, documents or something.

Zhang Rixuan seemed to have gotten used to my rudeness, and didn't react much to my behavior of entering the room without permission.

I walked up behind her, glanced at her and asked, "What are you looking at?" Zhang Rixuan ignored me, his attention was still on the documents he was reading.

I just stood like this, but I was thinking in my heart how to tell Zhang Rixuan that I planned to continue to live here.

"Do you think it's appropriate to stand in a woman's room in the dead of night?" Zhang Rixuan asked me coldly.

"I just wanted to say thank you and nothing else. I hurriedly said

"Then you can say it, and get out quickly

"Oh..."I replied and asked as if flattering: "By the way, did you take medicine tonight, I heard you coughing just now Zhang Rixuan closed the file and looked at me with a frown: "If you have something to say, say it quickly, I'm ready to rest." "That's what you asked me to say, I said don't turn your face with me. I hurriedly said

road

"Then don't talk about it. ”

"That's not good, if you say it, you let me say it, of course I have to say..."

"That...... I'll tell you the truth, I don't want to move out at all!" After speaking, he stood up straight, trying to suppress Zhang Rixuan with a mighty momentum and get her to agree to my request that I not move out.

Zhang Rixuan looked at me and said calmly: "I said that you can not pay back the money you owe for the time being, so you have no reason not to move."

"I said I didn't want to move out at all, don't you understand what I mean?" I raised my voice.

"But you promised me to move out more than once, is your promise so cheap in your own eyes?" Zhang Rixuan's words were icy

Very divine, but flashing with anger.

"What's wrong with you letting me live here?" My words are also angry, Zhang Rixuan doesn't understand me at the same time, I don't understand her, there are more people sharing a house in this city, why do I rely so much on this room, but she ruthlessly drives me away again and again, and I feel that my character in sharing a house is still very good, and I am a very safe person to live with

Zhang Rixuan asked rhetorically: "You tell me what's good."

"Anywhere!" After thinking about it, I said: "I live here, and if there is a neighborhood dispute or something in the future, I can easily help you solve it, and tell you: I am the boss of this community..."

"Don't be so naïve, okay?" Zhang Rixuan interrupted me.

I sneered: "You don't believe it, do you? You can go to other communities to see if there are square dancing aunts disturbing the people every night, do you find that there is one in this community where we live?... I'm telling you, although there is no property management in this community, I am much better than that property management or something

finish

"Even if what you say is true, it doesn't make up for you to continue living here, you have to move out. Zhang Rixuan still said to me resolutely.

I was angry again: "Are you lacking heart? What's wrong with you letting me live here? At least the water pipe is blocked, the light is broken, I can fix it, it's raining or something, you're not at home, I'll help collect the clothes, and today, if you're sick, I can't die without help, I have to buy you medicine, cook a bowl of ginger soup....... why do you have to die to make both of you unhappy?"

"I'm not unhappy. Zhang Rixuan choked me with a word, and was embarrassed for a long time before saying: "Anyway, I don't want to move, I owe you so much money, I think it's heavier to pay you back first than to move."

Want.

Zhang Rixuan asked unexpectedly: "Tell me why it's more important to pay back the money first than to move?"

I barely thought about it and said, "I will be sure to pay back your money, but moving makes me feel helpless and empty, if it were you, would you choose to pay back the money first, or move first?"

"You can move out of here and live elsewhere, but where to start with emptiness and helplessness?" Zhang Rixuan continued to ask.

I looked around at all the cuts in this room, and there was a burst of indescribable emotions in my heart, Zhang Rixuan she didn't understand my feelings and attachment to this house at all, so every time she drove me away, she wouldn't consider my feelings, but then again, she didn't need to think about it, no matter how deep the attachment was, it was only after all

It's my own.

I lit a cigarette to vent the loss and helplessness in my heart.

"Don't smoke in my room, okay?" Zhang Rixuan's words were full of disgust, but I couldn't blame her, I was too presumptuous to ignore that I was still in her room at the moment.

"Sorry, I'll go to the balcony to smoke. I whispered.

After smoking a cigarette on the balcony, I returned to the living room, but to my surprise, Zhang Rixuan did not stay in his bedroom at this moment, but sat on the sofa in the living room. For the first time, she took the initiative to open up and said to me, "You haven't answered my question yet." ”

"You just asked me why I feel empty and helpless when I move out, don't you?"

Zhang Rixuan nodded. I sat down on the sofa opposite Zhang Rixuan, closed my eyes, and the countless days and nights I had lived here came to my mind like fragments. After a long silence, I finally spoke: "I moved in two years ago, and the first time I moved in here was the darkest period of my life, and I lost sleep almost every night...... The reason why I have insomnia is because I have a lot of thoughts, but I can't say anything about these thoughts, but I feel uncomfortable in my heart, so I regard the floor lamp, cabinet, wall clock, and even a mop in the house as my friends, and tell them these thoughts that I can't say to people, although they never respond to me, but they are very patient, no matter how long I say, they are very patient, so they don't vomit

After the unhappiness, I was not so uncomfortable, I am very grateful to them, thanks to the cut in this house, they are my dependence, my friends, so I don't want to leave, I love this room, although he is very simple, but it is the safest and warmest in my world

Places...!

After I finished speaking, Zhang Rixuan looked at me with a very complicated look, but I didn't know what this complexity meant, just anxiously waiting for her to let me continue to live here...

(End of chapter)