What's the situation?

Jumping off a building and still having to queue?

"Young man, don't worry, I'll jump when I'm done drinking the last bit of wine!" a middle-aged man in a suit shook the wine bottle in his hand and waved at Zhang Zizi.

"It's not big brother, you've been drinking a bottle of fruit beer for more than an hour, so it's really not okay, let me jump first." Zhang Zizai couldn't help but complain, he finally mustered up the courage to run to the rooftop, wanting to jump to be free, but he didn't expect to meet such a master, he had to say something to come first and come later, and wait until he finished jumping before it was his turn.

I thought that jumping off the building would only be a matter of minutes, so I just waited, but this uncle has been inking here for more than an hour, but he hasn't seen any movement.

Zhang Zizi was a little unhappy.

As the so-called one drum, two declines, three exhaustions, and four discouragements. If he continues to grind like this, he is afraid that the little courage he finally rushed up will be worn away by him.

"Why don't you sit down and have a drink with me?" The middle-aged man didn't answer, pointed to the open space on the side, and motioned for Zhang Zizi to sit over as well.

Zhang Zizai walked over and sat down, picked up the duck neck at the middle-aged man's feet, and gnawed on it.

Well, not bad, the smell of meat for a long time!

"Why did you jump off the building?"

"Why else, I can't live anymore, but if it's a little rut, who would want to die. Zhang Zizai recalled his experience during this period of time and sighed.

The job was resigned, the money was cheated, this is nothing, the most annoying thing is that I have been talking about my girlfriend who has not even been willing to hold my hand for two years, and I thought I was poor two days ago, and I actually ran away with others.

She worked hard for two years to save money for her to go to school, but as soon as she graduated, she kicked him! The key is that she actually ran away with a collection of rags! This caused 10,000 points of damage to Zhang Zizi, which made it clear to tell him that he might as well collect the rags!

That day, looking at the back of his girlfriend leaving in the tricycle of the man, Zhang Zizai really couldn't imagine what face he still had to live in this world, so he came to the top of this building and prepared to commit suicide.

"Alas, I also feel that it is really boring to live in this world. Just say that two days ago, I wanted to tear down my family's 200-square-meter back garden and build a swimming pool, but my daughter-in-law was stunned and disagreed! I just wanted to take a swim if I didn't say anything about it!

It's true that no, you can build a swimming pool at home!

"Also, last week when I had my birthday, she actually gave me a pink Ferrari! I'm a big man, how can I drive a pink one? I can't be laughed at by someone when I go out! As a result, she actually said that I don't accept her gift because I don't love her! I'm clamoring to divorce me! How can I live this day!" Zhang Zizai's face twitched after listening.

"It's nothing, it's okay if the marriage is unhappy, I don't even have a friend around me who can talk!"

"No, right? I think you're a successful person, uncle, and you should have a lot of friends. ”

"There are a lot of friends, but none of them have a heart-to-heart! No one has participated in the game I have saved!"

"Maybe they're busy, right?"

"Busy, how busy can you be? So busy that you can't even squeeze in time to go to France for foie gras? No matter how busy you are, you can't even go to R Ben to take a bath?"

Zhang Zizi couldn't listen to it anymore, patted his buttocks, got up and left.

Middle-aged uncle: "Young man, why are you going?

Zhang Zizai: "Kill your sister, kill your whole family, kill your whole community!"

This uncle is not here to seek death, but to make himself angry to death, right? Zhang Zizai thought as he walked out of the building quickly.

As soon as I stepped out of the door, a black object fell from the roof.

Zhang Zizai was shocked in his heart, really jumped?

After a stunned effort, with a snap, the thing fell against the tip of Zhang Zizi's nose and fell to the ground.

It's actually a mobile phone!

Zhang Zizai bent down to pick it up, took it in his hand and looked at it, this rich man's mobile phone is different, it hasn't been broken when it falls from the roof of dozens of floors, how strong it must be.

No, this phone almost hit itself just now!

Such a sturdy mobile phone, if you hit yourself on the head...... Thinking of this, Zhang Zizi was angry, this uncle did it on purpose, right?

Zhang Zizi turned around again, and ran upstairs with a puff, ready to find an uncle to reason.

"Hey, where are the people?" When I walked to the rooftop, I found that there was no one left, leaving only chicken feet and duck necks.

Did you really jump off the building? But I only saw a mobile phone fall just now.

Zhang Zizi didn't think much about it, gathered up the chicken feet and duck necks all over the ground, put them in his pockets and went home.

If you want to die, you have to eat all this meat before you die, otherwise it would be a pity.

On a dilapidated single bed, Zhang Zizai was nibbling on a duck's neck while flipping through the mobile phone he had just picked up.

"Are all the rich people so good at playing now?

All the names in this mobile phone address book are all underworld characters, what bull head and horse face Judge Cui, one name is more domineering than the other. And those strange APPs are also unheard of by him, and they are all hung with the suffix of the special version of the underworld.

The world of rich people is really incomprehensible, and it costs a lot of money just to customize these apps, right?

"The king of Hades told you to die for the third watch, who dares to keep you for the fifth watch!The king of Hades told you to die for the third watch, who dares to keep you for the fifth watch!" A piercing mobile phone ringtone came, Zhang Zizai was stunned, and saw the three words Xie Bi'an written on the caller ID.

I finally have a normal name, it can't be that after playing with me, I'm looking for a mobile phone again, right?

"Hey?" Zhang Zizi picked up the phone.

"Why do you want to be fat?"

"What the hell? Can you speak human language?"

"Is it a vegetarian and a vegetarian?

"Shall we straighten our tongues and say it?" Zhang Zizi really couldn't understand the bird language on the other side, and said helplessly.

There was silence for a few seconds, and then hung up.

After a while, the bell rang again. This time it was Judge Cui who called.

"Lao Li, what's wrong with you? Why are you still pretending to be stupid when Xiaobai called you just now?"

"Lao Li, what Lao Li, I picked up this phone!" Zhang Zizai picked up the phone and replied angrily.

"How is it possible, this phone has its own recognition function, where can you pick it up! Don't play with me to change your voice, it's not like this if you want to strike!"

"No, I really picked it up, and this phone almost hit me just now! I'm still thinking about finding the owner to comment on it, it just so happens that you're his friend, right? Let him call me, I have to talk to him!"

"You're really not Lao Li, what about the others?"

Zhang Zizi sighed and narrated the scene on the rooftop just now.

"From this point of view, this Lao Li really jumped off the building, I thought he was just in a mood lately and didn't want to work hard,...... My fault is my fault, I didn't communicate better with my subordinates, and I didn't expect him to be so stressed at work, so he committed suicide directly. ”

"No, he shouldn't have jumped off the building, I didn't see the body downstairs!"

"Corpses? He jumped off the building and destroyed the spirit, where did the corpse come from!"

"What about kidding me? Who jumped off the building didn't fall to pieces and his brains and intestines flowed to the ground. ”

"You, you, you...... Are you human?"

Zhang Zizi rolled his eyes: "Nonsense! I'm not a human being, am I still a dog?"

"How can people use our phones?"

"What's the matter, your phone is really for dogs?"

"You wait, this is a major accident, I want to report to my superiors, don't move my phone, I'll go to a meeting now, and I'll send someone to find you when I'm done!" After speaking, he hung up the phone.

If you tell me not to move, I won't move? Impossible! I want to move! The one who doesn't move is Wang Ba!

Zhang Zizi casually opened an APP called Dou (Harmony) Landlord, and played with chicken feet.

On the second day, the weather was fine.

Zhang's girlfriend was kneeling at her feet, hugging her thighs and crying and begging him to forgive herself.

And he played with the Ferrari car keys in his hand with a cold face, ignoring her.

More than a dozen maids dressed in sister clothes on the side nodded and bowed, holding abalone and bear's paws and other big meals waiting for him to enjoy.

Just as he was thinking about which one to eat first, Zhang Zizai's buttocks ached for a while, and he woke up from his dream in an instant, and the table of delicacies and seafood and the row of beautiful maids instantly came to naught and were taken back by Zhou Gong.

I opened my eyes in annoyance, but found that there was a middle-aged man I didn't know in my room.

"You're Zhang Zizai?"

"Who are you? Why did you come to my house!"

"The meeting has decided to study and decide, and you will take over Lao Li's work in the future!"

"What job?"

"What else can you do, Yincha!"