I put the phone aside and took out a can of beer from the convenience bag and drank it, my mood became more and more lost, but I couldn't even find a reason to comfort myself, let alone how deeply I hurt Chen Sitian, as well as my father and mother, I can imagine what their mood is at this moment, for them, the late night is also sleepless.

The mobile phone rang again, it was still Chu He calling, her persistence made me helpless, and finally connected the phone, and then said patiently: "I have really had dinner, can you eat by yourself?"

Chu He choked up and said to me: "Jiaming, I know you are in a bad mood, you must have given up a lot for my affairs, right?"

"You think too much, just go back to Suzhou, at most as if you have never been back to Xuzhou. I said that because I was bored, I subconsciously took a cigarette from the cigarette case and lit it.

"Then you come out to eat with me, I'm really not in the mood to be alone. ”

I was silent for a long time and finally agreed to Chu He's request, because I didn't want her to see my downfall, and then I had a psychological burden, but I was really tired of the forced smile after meeting, and this was the main reason why I refused to have dinner with Chu He at the beginning.

......

Regardless of the bitter cold of deep winter, I took a hot shower in the small hotel, and then walked out of the small hotel with my wallet, but I didn't want to be seen by Chu He, who was already standing across the street waiting.

She trotted up to me and stared at me, but she was silent for a long time.

I snuffed out the cigarette in my hand, put my hand in my pocket because of the cold, and said, "Aren't you going to eat, let's go." ”

"Why did you live in a small hotel?" asked Chu He with red circles in his eyes.

Subconsciously I thought that women were born to be abrasive, but I didn't expect Chu He to arrive at the agreed place before me, and then she saw me walking out of the small hotel, looking at her, and found that she didn't apply powder, but just wore the simplest sports down jacket, no wonder she arrived before me.

I avoided the important and said, "Find a place to eat first." ”

Chu He nodded meekly with tears in his eyes, and then the two drowned in the crowd side by side and walked along the street to the front.

I just wanted to eat casually on the street, but Chu He insisted on stopping a taxi and asked the driver to take us to a high-end Western restaurant.

......

In the western restaurant, listening to soothing music and the sound of running water in the fountain pool, my nervousness was finally relieved.

Chu He lowered his head and ate, and did not talk to me from beginning to end, but I had no appetite, just drank a glass of red wine.

Half an hour later, Chu He finally finished eating, and her expression was gloomy when she looked at the food that I hadn't touched at all, and she asked me in a low voice for a long time: "Jiaming, going to Suzhou this time must make you very embarrassed, right?"

"There's nothing to worry about, you don't have to care. ”

"And what about your girlfriend, didn't she say anything?"

I was told by Chu He that it hurt, but I had to endure the pain and say, "It's nothing, she supports my decision." ”

Chen Sitian did support my decision, provided that I also lost the love I had with her to get married.

Chu He asked again: "Then why did you live in a small hotel alone?"

I finally got annoyed, and said with a displeased face: "Chu He, do you know why I don't want to go out to eat with you? I really don't want you to ask this and that endlessly...... Whatever the consequences of this matter, I have already chosen, so all your doubts now are meaningless. ”

Chu He didn't say anything more.

I said to her, "When you go back to Suzhou this time, you will first ask Lu Yu and Meng En to help you take care of the bar, and I will rush over as soon as possible, it may not take a week." ”

"Well, Lu Yu has been singing in my bar now, and he has been singing for free for a month, and I feel sorry for him...... Jiaming, if there is a way, I won't look for you, I know it will make you very difficult!"

Chu He's words made me feel inexplicable, sometimes life is so cruel, it doesn't give people a choice at all, and life is so involuntarily.

Leaving the western restaurant, we walked on the cold street with the light and shadow of the street lamp, I was still smoking, and Chu He looked at the end of the street a little blankly.

I don't know how long I walked in a lonely manner, and finally returned to the hotel where Chu He lived, and we had to be separated for a short time.

I said to Chu He: "Go back to the hotel and rest early, and I'll send you tomorrow morning if you have time." ”

"No, my train at ten o'clock, you were already at work. ”

"Well, then pay attention to yourself on the road, there are too many people on the train. ”

Chu He ignored my advice and said to me with tears in his eyes: "I'm really too ignorant, I should listen to your advice, I shouldn't open a bar, I hurt myself and you!"

I gently patted her shoulder and comforted, and said, "Don't cry, people will definitely do wrong things in their lives, the important thing is how to make up for mistakes after they are wrong, and I will accompany you through the difficulties." ”

Chu He threw himself into my arms uncontrollably and sobbed: "Jiaming, I will definitely compensate you twice as much in the future for everything you lost for me today." ”

I held Chu He's shoulders and let her leave my embrace, and said to her with a serious face: "Remember, we should never say the word compensation between us, just like the slap you received for me, have you ever thought about asking me to make amends?"

Chu He shook his head and said, "I don't want you to make amends, this is what I willingly do for you." ”

"So, going back to Suzhou is also something I willingly do for you. ”

......

After sending Chu He back to the hotel, I walked alone on the street, and then walked past a platform in front of me, which was the small hotel where I was staying, but now I don't want to go back, although the world is cold at this time.

I sat on a stone bench in front of the railway station square, lit a cigarette and watched the people in front of me in a daze, at this moment these people who walked by me have a brief intersection with me, but the next moment they will all take the train to go in all directions, there will be no intersection again, but their lives will go on, full of joy and sorrow in the continuation.

Therefore, no one will live a peaceful life, and a life filled with sorrow and joy is a secular life.

After taking a deep breath, I finally extinguished the cigarette in my hand, and couldn't help but look up at the sky, where is that crystal clear city, I have traveled to Suzhou and Xuzhou, whether it is looking up during the day or looking forward to it at night, I have never seen it again, is this really just a city that has been imagined? If so, how sad is this...... Because the weary mind can never find a place to dwell.

How nice it would be if there was a silver boat at this moment, bending, rocking, swaying, squandering the night, and taking me into the velvety sky