"Then what do you want, do you want to use money to smash, are you Wang Sicong or Liu Luanxiong?"

"No, that's not how the pickle cheats on the Internet are taught. ”

"Pickle girl cheats? do you mean PUA? brother, I advise you not to believe that thing, if you don't want to use money to smash, the core of chasing girls is that two people develop a common hobby, and having a common topic can naturally narrow the distance, understand?"

Zhang Xiaoming didn't seem to understand, and nodded, "I know, I'll understand it again, but you know, brother, I am a straight man of steel, born in science and engineering, and I don't understand any of these things, so I will recite a few sentences of spring flowers and autumn moons, when is it obviously not enough, you have been the president of literature in college, can you guide me?"

Yang Pingfan sighed and pulled over the stool, "Look at it and study hard." ”

"A few years ago, the painful youth literature, what tears 45 ° looking up at the haze and the like are outdated, now what literary and artistic youth want is the perception of life, highlighting a kind of sentimentality, and at the same time there is an attitude of loving life and embracing the distance" Yang Pingfan said while coding words.

"Write in a down-to-earth manner, cry with humor, and give some hints about the sexes, considering that you are going to chase girls, but not too explicit so as not to be harmonized. ”

Zhang Xiaoming leaned over to take a look, only to see Yang Pingfan coding out a paragraph on the computer, "The girl is beautiful, bold and careful-her breasts are as big as her boldness, her waist is as thin as her heart, and her skin is as good as her person."

At the same time, this girl is a real man, although she does not have a small ding. ”

Zhang Xiaoming looked at it, "Brother Fan, although I have low literary literacy, but how wrong do you look at, I don't know what the previous ranking is, I use "head" as a measure word to describe the girl, I feel that the Chinese teacher is going to beat me to death." ”

"You know a hammer, literature and art is to be different, you look at my paragraph, in the description of the girl's degree of manhood, first use the real four words to stimulate the reader's interest in reading, how does the girl become a man? and then end with "no long little dingding", with a little yellow but not so cliché, witty ending. There is no suspicion of gender discrimination. ”

Zhang Xiaoming was speechless, only to see Yang Pingfan continue to write, go to the plateau to purify the soul in distress, "At that time, I encountered rolling stones on the mountain, and when I ran to find cover, I stepped on the air with one foot, and the bones rolled down the cliff, but fortunately, Xiao Ding Ding was stuck in the crack of the stone, so he did not roll into the Jinsha River." ”

"When the first one jumped into the Bohai Sea, the broken ice scratched the soles of the feet, the people froze stupidly, their legs froze green, and Xiao Ding Ding froze and shrunk...... I really want to strangle myself in the second phase of secondary school. ”

"What about this little Tintin description? Why do I think it's very lewd. ”

"Hiding mines in the crotch is an idea, and so is the adventures of your little Tintin. This passage is a reference to the fertility cult of ancient Egypt, and in just one sentence, it makes people think that little Ding Ding can not only give birth to life, but also make people save the day. As soon as your goddess sees this, she thinks about the effect of a non-congested cavernous body in a normal state, and what is the chance of getting stuck in a crack in the stone impartially? Is this a joke or is it telling the truth? The right amount of white space at the back can bring her endless reverie. ”

As for the Bohai Winter Swimming, it directly reflects your physical fitness, as well as the freedom of walking in all directions, the sponge body that shows its might, and the scolding with a sense of national scolding, not only popularizes the harsh environment of Bohai Winter Swimming, but also reflects the personality and frankness of your homeless youth. ”

After Yang Pingfan explained, he continued to write, and then wrote to see through human nature, "Chinese people like to look down, look up, indifference, and despise, but it is difficult to look at it levelly." Even if there is occasional kindness in the sight, it will inevitably come with a sense of onlookers and pity. In the mainstream society of this country, homosexuality has always been a group of people who have been marginalized by secular standards, and have always been isolated and excluded to a greater or lesser extent. Don't tell me to treat everyone equally, you and I both know that most of them are treated equally, only on the tip of the tongue and lips. ”

There is also a direct expression of his heart, "Yaya is not an old friend of mine, we have only known each other for eight years so far.

But to me, she was a woman of great significance.

I wasted two firsts for her: the first time she knelt down for a man, and the first time she wore a wedding dress in her life...... I wore a wedding dress because of me.

Both firsts happened in the same second.

- The second I saw her. ”

Sighing at the road of life, "Anyone's life can not be a smooth horse, rather than the future is uncertain when the sadness, it is better to recognize this road as a desire to promote and suppress the growth." Happiness may be a candy that has always been in your pocket, but those wonderful sweetnesses can only be tasted by the taste buds that have licked all kinds of flavors. ”

Sighing about work and ideals, "What if you go to work from 9 to 5 with one mind, buy a car and buy a house? What if you quit your job and drop out of school to wander with one mind, and what if you go from Antarctica to the North Pole? A truly awesome life should be able to work from 9 to 5 and wander the world at the same time." ”

Zhang Xiaoming scratched his hair, dandruff flew wildly, Yang Pingfan saw this and hid a few steps away, "Then what about this 9-to-5 wandering world? Why do you have to make two pairs of antonyms to show that you are unique?"

"Don't care about these details, I'll just ask you, does it look like you're pretending to be very tall and tall?"

"This is the literary and artistic youth text? Isn't this nonsense?

"It's, making people seem to understand whether they understand or not, piling up rhetoric, showing off feelings, and now the popular routine is like this, first introduce great achievements, supplemented by celebrity evaluations and famous quotes, and then talk about the acquaintance experience, the more people want to be in the wrong, the better, and finally forcibly sublimate the theme, the more I don't know what to say, the better, by the way, remember to rhyme. ”

"I have a low temperament, and I really can't appreciate it. ”

Yang Pingfan gave him a blank look, "Then do you still want to chase your goddess?"

"Yes, of course. ”

"Then take a good look, study hard, remember not to send it out at one time, send a part every few days, and, if you need to invest in pickling girls, go online and spend a few dollars to buy some Moments photo albums, which are more convincing with photos. ”

Zhang Xiaoming nodded like pounding garlic, and didn't hear the sarcasm in Yang Pingfan's words, "I'm taught, I'll try it, and if it's successful, please drink...... It's not this nine pieces of nine free shipping, it's Qingdao...... That one...... I haven't paid my salary this month, so look at this chicken leg rice......"

Yang Pingfan waved his hand, "Forget it, I'll invite you." ”

"Thank you, Brother Fan, you are my own brother," Zhang Xiaoming said and was about to give Yang Pingfan a hug, which scared Yang Pingfan and fled.

After Yang Pingfan went back, Zhang Xiaoming chewed his words carefully, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense, and clicked on Lin Yaya's space, and looked at Lin Yaya's beautiful selfies one by one, the more he looked at it, the more flavorful it became, and he couldn't help but put his hand into the crotch of his pants and took a look, and then took a long breath of relief, searched on the Internet, and sure enough, there was a circle of friends who pretended to sell albums, bought one for ten yuan, picked a few that matched the text, and posted them in the QQ space.

I have to say that this trick is really effective, Lin Yaya began to like it under his words, and also commented a few words You have also been to the plateau and Yunnan, Zhang Xiaoming has no teacher, and he can talk for half an hour with Lin Yaya about the information from Baidu on the Internet.

After a few days, Zhang Xiaoming was woken up by the ringtone of his mobile phone early one morning, and he spewed out a series of national scoldings while picking up his mobile phone, but when he saw the caller ID, Zhang Xiaoming jumped out of a louder national scolding.

Because it's a goddess call on the screen!

Xiao Ming's hands were trembling, his heart was trembling, and his adrenaline was secreting excess, trying to control his emotions, and pressed the answer button: "Hey~~~"

This number was left when he reunited with the goddess in the night market, although he didn't give a WeChat signal, but Zhang Xiaoming felt that this was a hint from the goddess to himself, and he wanted to take the initiative to call and contact, but unfortunately he has not been able to muster up the courage.

He imagined countless scenes of calling the goddess in his dreams, but he never thought that the goddess would take the initiative to call him, he imagined countless scenes in his heart, thousands of words of lines, he was already familiar with it, but he couldn't say a word when he came to him, and he couldn't say anything after he fed it.

There was an intermittent sobbing sound on the mobile phone, Zhang Xiaoming immediately felt like a knife when he heard the voice, and asked anxiously: "Lin Yaya, what's wrong with you, say it quickly, if you don't say it, I'm going to die!"

After a long time, Lin Yaya said quietly: "Xiao Ming, I have something to ask you for help, can you help?"

"Help!"

Zhang Xiaoming said categorically, and at the same time recalled his WeChat balance, after the failure of the last shoe speculation, he owed a lot of debt, and finally said to his family with a cheeky face, his mother took out his savings to support him to tide over the difficulties, and recently he took over a job to help the post-90s executives of hundreds of billions of state-owned enterprises wash the floor, and the post caused a lot of heat, successfully guided the public opinion to turn, and gave a bonus, and more than 5,000 yuan, which should be enough.

Lin Yaya on the other side of the phone started crying again, but she didn't say anything, Zhang Xiaoming tried her best, learning how to bark a dog and learning to bark a donkey, and telling jokes and jokes, but she couldn't make Lin Yaya laugh.

"Zhang Xiaoming, you come to the Maternal and Child Health Hospital, I'll wait for you at the door. ”

In the end, Lin Yaya said such a sentence and hung up the phone.

Maternal and Child Health Hospital? What is Lin Yaya doing there? Is there a café or a movie theater nearby? Zhang Xiaoming pondered for a long time, and a bad thought suddenly flashed in his mind, could it be ......

He didn't dare to continue thinking about it, so he ordered a white sand to calm down in pain, then changed out of his slimy underwear, wiped his face with a basin of water, washed off his eye feces and dirt, shaved his face with the razor he bought with free shipping, went into the bathroom to take a shower, put on clean clothes, combed a Xie Guangkun's hairstyle, went out with a backpack bag, and called a fast train to go straight to the maternal and child health hospital.