To the kind and lovely teacher Kobayashi:

Good afternoon, Mr. Kobayashi. First of all, Shin Shin would like to thank you, thank you for chatting with me after class, thank you for your patience, thank you for inviting me to your house for hot pot, and thank you for rushing over to protect me last night. Thank you for finally saving me from my struggles and pain.

There are some stories that I really want to tell you, but I don't know where to start and don't have the courage to tell them. Thank you for allowing me to pour out in words.

I've been really tormented lately, and I thought I'd die. I have wanted to call my mother or talk to you countless times, but I always don't have the courage to speak, for fear of being blamed by you, disliked by you, and given up by you.

I'm so scared these days that I've even thought about suicide. I am like a person with no future, I dare not imagine what I will be like in the future, and I dare not imagine what it will be like for you to give up on me. It was as if I had reached a dead end, with an abyss behind me and a gate of hell in front of me, and I didn't know where to go.

I wanted to escape, to escape the present, to escape from home, to escape from school. I want to run to a faraway place where no one knows me.

I haven't had a period for two months, my stomach hurts when I run, I break out in a cold sweat when I blow cold wind, and I vomit when I smell fishy. My body is changing day by day, and I'm so scared. My belly is also changing, and it is slowly growing like a tumor is growing inside.

I was so scared that every night, I hid under the covers and cried silently, and I slept until midnight and woke up from nightmares. I lay on the bed, trying to hold my stomach down so that it would not grow any longer.

I don't know what's wrong with me, and I don't know what to do. Until one day, I went online to ask the doctor, and he said that I might be pregnant. But how did I get pregnant? I only had one time with him, and that time I went to the pharmacy to buy medicine.

I went to him and asked him what I was going to do. He told me to go to the pharmacy to buy abortion pills and secretly abort them. But I checked it on the Internet, and the doctor said it was dangerous, and there were sequelae.

I was so scared, he was scared, he was so scared that he wanted to run away. So, there's the scene you saw last night, teacher. I wanted to keep him and let him help me find a way to make me less isolated, but he was afraid of responsibility and only wanted to escape.

I really had nowhere to go and was completely disappointed in him. I was like a flying insect with wet wings in the water, helpless, unable to fly or shore.

It wasn't until last night when you took me to the door that you hugged me and said to me very firmly, no matter what happens, you will help me. At that time, you were really the only warmth I could feel now, helping me to illuminate the stars of the future.

I actually have a future.

I thought about it all night last night, and I still didn't dare to die. I want to have a bright future, I am reluctant to give up my parents, my grandmother, and I am reluctant to you, Mr. Kobayashi.

Lying in bed last night, I suddenly thought of Mr. Kobayashi hugging me that day and saying that I would become a very good novelist in the future. I thought, "Anyway, I should give it a try." Try to call for help, maybe I really have that little bit of a future.

In the end, I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry, Mr. Kobayashi, I have you to help me clean up this mess, you have to worry about me, and you have to worry about you.

You must think I'm a girl who doesn't know how to check.

I'm really sorry.