Jin Zi has been diagnosed with moderate depression for more than eight months, at that time the test report was written as severe, but after the doctor's examination, the conclusion was moderate, there are many small iron pieces of equipment will be worn on the head, and then spend 20 minutes quietly, there will be an icon reflecting the value of brain activity, the report is the decline in the overall function of the brain, the inhibition function in the brain is insufficient, the power of all transmitters decreases, the relative power of 5-HT decreases, the function of the left parietal area is abnormal, etc., behind these reports, Kaneko's feeling is that her emotions are out of her control, at that time she will cry every night, insomnia all night, splitting headaches, at first she did not dare to go to the doctor, I think psychotherapy for emotional treatment must be very expensive, but after reading it, I realized that the medicine for a month is only more than 100 yuan, and you can also apply for medical insurance, so people who feel that they have mental illness, don't be afraid of financial burden, depression treatment is still cheaper than cancer treatment.

The reason for the onset of gold is ostensibly that he has experienced two biochemical pregnancies, and after marriage, he is full of expectations for the arrival of a small life, but the result is that he died early in 2 months, and he took more than 100 tubes of blood, and the examination of all aspects of the husband and wife, the small tract infection is as big as genetic testing, and the reports are all normal, except for an insulin resistance, even if there is no special reason, relatives and friends around him are persuading that fate has not arrived, but Jin Zi has a faint premonition, there may be something that is not there, and it cannot be forced.

A month later, Kaneko said goodbye to her troublesome design work and returned to the haven to maintain the ship. She still likes all kinds of colorful colors, likes to watch all kinds of variety shows, comedies, and cartoons, but what she can express is only black and white, like the current black and white letters.

When I wake up every day, I will go through the usual modes of death, cutting my wrists and taking sleeping pills is not good, it is best not to die at home, it will affect the house price, it is not good to jump off the building and the river, the organs after the shock and edema can not be used, and it is an extremely troublesome thing to die after thinking about it for a long time, so I will put it aside for the time being.

Last month, Jin Zi announced the news of depression in the circle of friends, in fact, it did not attract a lot of attention, fortunately, there was an unknown friend who came to consult where she was treated, what medicine to take and how much it cost, think about it, this friend seems to be Jin Zi added when he bought a house on Double 11 last year, she said that people with depression are not understood, and the people around her also think it is a kind of hypocrisy, she dare not say it, and she dare not show it.

They are like people living in a shell, with beautiful clothes, delicate makeup, raised lips, and happy smiling faces on the outside of the shell.

Maybe what Jin Zi learned from his childhood to adulthood, including from the relatives around him, is to pretend that nothing happened, a lot of sadness, a lot of regrets, a lot of cracks, all of which have been whitewashed and peaceful, leaving a person in the shell, curled up in a ball, soberly counting tears, feeling the hot and cold family affection, hypocritical human affection, difficult to maintain friendship, maybe you have seen through a lot, but you are powerless to change it will be depressed, what you want is not to spend time, Money can be obtained, that kind of frustration is eroding themselves every day, and it is not easy for people to live and grow up day by day.

If you want, I can tell you some stories. Today's dream: Kaneko returned to a school she had attended before, where it became overgrown with grass and mud, and if she accidentally stepped into a small mud puddle with puddles, she walked with one foot covered in mud, and suddenly two girls appeared behind her, as if they were unknown two people she had seen in high school, and they caught up and asked, I heard that many people in your class are married?

Jin Zi replied without thinking, he was twenty-seven or eighteen years old, and he would be thirty years old in two years, how many people are not married, isn't it normal to get married?

They walked away in a huff. If Jin Zi could have bravely scolded those girls when he experienced that school verbal violence that year, would the ending be different?