Jin Zi is Xue'er's only friend, and when she was in junior high school, Jin also had two good friends, one was Xiaoyu and the other was Orange. But since the three of them went to high school and were placed in different classes, there has been less intersection with each other. In addition, Kaneko's parents bought a house in the county seat after Kaneko was admitted to high school, and Kaneko officially bid farewell to the boarding life of her aunt's house.

Xue'er is the kind of girl who is very lively and cheerful, upright, and because she is beautiful, she will always have some enemies for some reason. This reminded Kaneko of a girl she saw in the first year of junior high school when she was in the third year of junior high school, with big eyes and white skin, just like a doll, whether Kaneko was running exercises between classes or when she was out of school, she would unconsciously look for the figure of the girl, see what shoes and clothes she was wearing today, what hairstyle she was wearing, and Kaneko suddenly found out one day that they lived in the same community. Kaneko sometimes mimics the girl's dress, a bit like Dong Shi Xiaofeng. However, Jin Zi never said a word to the girl, as if he could experience that enviable life from a distance.

Jin Zi guessed that Cher should have grown up like this, she could always see those anonymous love letters on Cher's desk, books, and chairs, and Cher didn't think so, she always silently cleaned up these love letters, anyway, Jin never saw her open and read them. Until that day, Jin Zi and Xue'er were in a daze by the window of the corridor during class, Jin Zi heard the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer behind her, she found that Xue'er on the other side had different eyes, her eyes were wide and fixed, Jin Zi followed her gaze and turned her head, and found a tall, gently thin boy walking towards them, the boy had an inch head, and there was a shallow scar on the right side of his face with three stitches, very similar to the gray wolf, and also like Murong Yunhai in the TV series that was very popular at the time, and he was followed by a tall and chubby boy behind him。 The boy who looked like a gray wolf walked up to Cher and stopped, and said to Cher "What are you dealing with?" Cher was stunned for a moment, then nodded generously and said, "Okay!" At this time, the class bell rang, and they also returned to their respective classes.

Jinzi's jaw was about to fall off, she knew that the high school campus was also a place where hormones were overflowing, but she didn't even dare to think about such a simple and decisive love. After a class, Jin Zi was busy passing notes to Xue'er, she asked this and that as worried as an aunt, Jin Zi said that he looked at the boy like a transfer student, he didn't even know his name, and he didn't know his personality, what if the other party was a bad person. Xue'er couldn't answer Jinzi's doubts, but just wrote a few words on the note, "Whatever, let it be." ”

Jin Zi now thinks that if she had known that this was the end, she would have tried her best to stop Jin Zi from getting along with the gray wolf. But who can stop this kind of thing, it is like a big gear, crushing the youth of countless people, whether in the past or in the future.

Cher grew up in a single-parent family, and her dad left her and her mom when she was very young, and her mom told Cher that her dad had gone to the big city to do business, and later became a family and had another child of his own. Cher never met her father, and her father only paid them child support on time every month, and didn't mention where to pick up Cher to play, or come to see Cher or anything. According to Xue'er's words, she doesn't need her father's care anymore, as long as he pays her and her mother on time, her mother also takes care of Xue'er full-time, and sometimes loses her temper with Xue'er, complaining about the unfairness of life, Xue'er once said to Jinzi: "The kind of love that other children should have, she won't get it in her life, so it belongs to her home, and she wants to find it herself." ”

Kaneko understands the love and care she wants, just as she envies other children who can see their parents every day after school. Slowly, on campus, Jin Zi could see more figures of Xue'er and the gray wolf together, the gray wolf's surname is Shen, and the single name is a Chinese character. Because he had fought in other high schools before, Shen Hua's mother spent a lot of money to transfer him to this key high school. But although he has a smart mind, he is also a gangster who does not learn and has no skills. Jin Zi didn't think well of them, and she didn't say anything when she saw that Xue'er was happy. Xue'er would arrive at school an hour before school at noon every day, and bring a boxed lunch to Shen Hua, once a hair was eaten out of the chicken leg of the boxed lunch, he frowned and closed the lid, smiled and said to Xue'er It's okay, and he will give it to Da Zhuang in a while, Da Zhuang is the tall and chubby boy who followed Shen Hua at that time. Xue'er also smiled, but silently wrote it down in her heart, and anything she brought him in the future would have to be checked again.

The days passed like this for a while, and there weren't as many times when Jin and Cher were playing together. One day, Cher suddenly found Jin Zi with a heavy heart, and asked her if she could not go home after school, and wait with her at the school gate for a while. Jin Zi didn't ask much, so after school, they found a school gate across the alley, hiding in a hidden position, Xue'er has been nervous and did not speak, and when there was no one walking at the school gate, Jin Zi saw a taxi stopped, and a girl wearing other high school uniforms came down from it, and the appearance was not clear, before they could take a closer look, a boy came out of the school gate to pick her up, and the two of them walked in the other direction very affectionately, that boy was Shen Hua, Jin Zi was angry, but he didn't know how to comfort Xue'er with a gloomy expression, only to hear Xue'er say lightly: "Let's go, let's go home. ”

Shen Hua had an accident that night, and I heard that when he was pushing a bicycle on the road after self-study at night, he was stabbed in the face by a boy, and the knife was inserted diagonally, and it was almost inserted into the right lobe. Later, in the rumors, Jin Zi learned that Shen Hua was because he was ambiguous with the girl, so he was threatened by the girl's boyfriend, although Shen Hua also called someone here and didn't suffer any loss, but Shen Hua's mother was worried that he would affect his studies, so he transferred to school, and would pick him up every night for self-study, but he didn't expect to be targeted by the girl's boyfriend this time, and the boy drank at night, and gave Shen Hua a knife without saying a word, Shen Hua was also afraid of hurting his mother, so he didn't fight back。

After this incident, Shen Hua was hospitalized, and Xue'er was still a little worried about him, so she went to see him twice with her classmates, and Da Zhuang broke away from Shen Hua's mother and gave Xue'er and Shen Hua time to be alone. Shen Hua said: "I'm just fun, you can still come to see me, the food in the hospital is not delicious, or the food you brought me is delicious." Xue'er was silent for a while and said, "Then do you still have contact with that girl?" Shen Hua said: "That's a misunderstanding, I really have nothing to do with that girl." Xue'er looked at Shen Hua's eyes and said seriously: "Don't lie to me!" Shen Hua shrank his head and whispered, "How dare I lie to you, you are my aunt." ”

After that day, Xue'er often went to the hospital to bring food to Shen Hua, and they would secretly kiss in the corner of the hospital where no one was around, Shen Hua's mother also saw that the relationship between the two was not ordinary, and she also persuaded Xue'er to focus on her studies at her current age, Xue'er glanced at Shen Hua silently, Shen Hua grimaced at her, and she said with a smile: "Okay." After Shen Hua was discharged from the hospital, he was taken to the school by his mother to withdraw from school, Xue'er was in class at the time, and saw Shen Hua who was not wearing a school uniform through the glass, and the person who left the class was gone. They ended without a farewell, no, and I don't know if it will continue or end.

Three months have passed in a blink of an eye, and Jin Zi and they are about to enter the second year of high school, and Da Zhuang, who has not seen her for a long time at noon that day, found Xue'er and asked her to answer a phone call, Xue'er took it, and a familiar voice came from inside, it was Shen Hua, he came back, and asked Xue'er if she had time to come out for dinner after school in the evening. That night, she studied by herself and found that Xue'er didn't come, and after school in the evening, Jinzi saw Xue'er waiting for her at the school gate, and Xue'er said to her happily: "Shen Hua, he went back to his hometown, in the county next door to us, he didn't go to school anymore, and he helped with some business at home." Jin Zi asked, "Then what did he want to do when he came to you this time?" Xue'er said: "He said that he didn't mean to look for me, but during the time he left, he always felt that something was missing, and after thinking about it for a long time, it turned out that I was missing." Seeing Xue'er's happy face, Jin Zi didn't ask anything more, she knew that Xue'er was a true person, and once she fell in love with someone, she would definitely pay wholeheartedly and would not look back. This is her sincere blood, and it is also her abyss.

Jin Zi would not see Xue'er at school every once in a while, and she knew that Shen Hua must be back again. The teacher at the school also talked to Cher, but it was useless. One morning, Jin Zi saw Xue'er's eyes red, and asked her worriedly what was wrong, Xue'er said that her mother saw a text message to Shen Hua on her mobile phone that she hadn't had time to delete, and knew that there was such a person as Shen Hua, and she also knew that she often skipped class for him, Xue'er's mother also gathered relatives at home to persuade them together, but Xue'er just didn't want to part with Shen Hua. Finally, on a weekend, Xue'er and Shen Hua got on a train, and no one knew where they went.

Before the train left, Cher sent a text message to her mother, with only a few words on it, "I left with Shen Hua." Xue'er's mother also came to look for Jinzi, and Jin Zi didn't know where they went, and when she saw Xue'er's mother's haggard appearance, Jin Zi was also very distressed, she could only say: "If there is any news from them, I will definitely contact you, Auntie." Cher's mother nodded like a puppet. Kaneko's mother also knew about this kind of thing from the parents of her classmates, although she didn't say it, Kaneko also knew that her mother didn't like Cher, every time Cher came to play at home, Kaneko's mother showed perfunctory and indifference, maybe she didn't want Kaneko to get too close to the "bad girl" Xue'er in the teacher's mouth, and Kaneko didn't want to argue with her mother about anything, because she knew that once she and her mother were unhappy, then she would become transparent in the eyes of her mother in the next month, so she couldn't afford to hide it. Kaneko sometimes dreams of Cher, the smiling girl waiting for her at the school gate, and they go to eat delicious fried noodles and grilled squid. When Kaneko woke up, his saliva wet most of his pillow towel.

It's been half a year since I saw Cher again. That day, Kaneko received a call from an unfamiliar number, it was Cher, and she was back and wanted to meet Kaneko. Jin Zi came to Xue'er's house, and the person who appeared in front of her was no longer the ruddy young girl, Xue'er had a sallow complexion, her hair was also very dry, and her thin body made her pajamas look big, Xue'er pointed to Jinzi's stomach and said, "There is a little life in here." Jin Zi was suddenly speechless, and Xue'er said, don't worry, I'll talk to you slowly.

After Xue'er and Shen Hua escaped, they first went to Shen Hua's relative's house, because they were afraid that Xue'er's family would find them, they lived in that village for half a month, and at first they were very shy, because they had never been together for so long, and they were with each other day and night. Later, in the mouth of Shen Hua's relatives, Xue'er learned that Shen Hua's family situation was not so good. Shen Hua's father and mother divorced very early, the reason was that Shen Hua's father cheated in marriage, Shen Hua's mother was angry and had to ask Shen Hua's son to come over, leaving Shen Hua's sister to Shen Hua's father, Shen Hua's father's family is also very patriarchal, on the day of the divorce, Shen Hua's grandparents and aunts snatched the child from Shen Hua's mother at the station, and in the end, the child's face was purple before he was unwilling to let go. Shen Hua's father's home is near Beijing, when Shen Hua was a child, their family's conditions were also worry-free, Shen Hua's mother was angry, almost no property, so she married Shen Hua's current father under the introduction of others, Shen Hua also followed his stepfather's surname Shen, and they lived in a small village that could only be reached by all means of transportation in that era. Shen Hua's house is also a very old earthen house, the roof is made of grass, and his stepfather's family makes a living by raising cattle.

After returning to Shen Hua's house, the four of them slept on a kang, because the whole house was just one bedroom, Shen Hua's mother wanted to send Shen Hua to the training school, but Shen Hua was unwilling to go, so he and Xue'er went to work in a factory near a coastal city, and several of Shen Hua's relatives also worked there. They work in a wood processing factory, and Xue'er has never done such heavy work since she was a child, and after a few days of work, Xue'er and Shen Hua can't bear it, so they go to a nearby Korean electronics factory, where the work is sitting and relatively easy. Xue'er and Shen Hua can earn 6,000 yuan a month, and sometimes when they get off work early or when they are resting, the two of them will also go to the neighborhood to have fun.

But young age is like this, there is sweetness, there are quarrels, young people are easy to do things recklessly, after several big quarrels, Xueer and Shen Hua quit their jobs in the electronics factory, the team leader and the director of the factory feel very sorry, because Xue'er is careful, the list of goods she pastes on the box never goes wrong, Shen Hua is very proficient in electronic equipment, the teacher of the maintenance department is also ready to teach him more skills, the day he left, the Korean factory director also said to them in broken Chinese: " It's the easiest job here, and it's not so easy anywhere else. ”

The young people quarreled and reconciled quickly, Xue'er and Shen Hua felt that life was still worth living after calming down, so they went to a kitchenware factory again, where the work was really dirty, tiring and dangerous, they just joined the company and heard that not long ago the mold workshop cut off a young man's hand, and it was the workers in the factory who quickly bought a lot of ice cream and put their hands in it, and then sent him to the hospital. This scared Xue'er a lot, so after another big fight, they resigned and returned to Shen Hua's hometown.

After going back, Xue'er's mother came to look for Xue'er, and there were many relatives of Xue'er. Xue'er felt that they were usually indifferent people, so she was unmoved, and Xue'er's mother cried, left Xue'er a few thousand yuan and left.

Cher felt strange when she was helping to herd cattle, and she felt exhausted after running a few steps uphill. Shen Hua's mother also felt that something was wrong. It took several hours of bus travel from a small village to the county hospital, and Xue'er, who was already motion sick, vomited in the car. When I arrived at the hospital for a checkup, Xue'er was pregnant, and everyone was very happy, except for Xue'er's family, of course.

Shen Hua's mother began to prepare for the wedding of the two of them, which was not very grand, just some very simple ceremonies in the countryside, and bought a tiled house built by someone else in the village. Cher's mother and cousin also came to persuade Cher that she was too young to have children. But Xue'er couldn't bear it, so she put it off again and again, until Xue'er was more than five months pregnant.

Xue'er remembers the quarrel very clearly, not because of a big deal, the two people will say the most vicious words when they quarrel, Xue'er dialed her mother's phone, and at eleven o'clock in the evening, her mother and cousin drove to pick up Xue'er, and they didn't even have time to take Xue'er's clothes.

In Shen Hua's opinion, this was just an ordinary quarrel, but Xue'er's mother didn't think so, she felt that it was an opportunity for her daughter to break off this life, so she asked Xue'er if she wanted to beat the child, Xue'er was angry at the time, and said, "Yes." So there was this meeting between Jin Zi and Cher.

Jin Zi looked at Xue'er distressedly, and also heard the sound of someone knocking on the door outside the door, it was Shen Hua, he wanted to come and pick Xue'er back. The people in the room were quiet, not making a sound, and even the mobile phones were turned to silent. Shen Hua had been sitting at the door, and the gold couldn't go, until it was dark, and he heard footsteps at the door gradually moving away.

Jin Zi later learned that Cher regretted it on the way to the hospital the next day, and the family carried her into the car, she cried and shouted all the way, crying until her voice was hoarse in the end, and when she arrived at the hospital, the doctor asked her to sign the consent form for the operation, but she didn't sign it, and the doctor asked her: "What can you give this child?"

Because Cher's child is already very old, Cher can even feel the child rolling in her belly sometimes, and sometimes Cher likes to sing little stars to the child in her belly at night, so that the child will be quiet for a while. Cher underwent an induction of labor, which is similar to a normal birth, except that the child she gives birth to will not live. Xue'er remembered that when her mother called Shen Hua, Shen Hua's mother yelled angrily, and she felt that Shen Hua didn't need to contact Xue'er anymore. But everyone didn't expect that Shen Hua still came and spent the last few days together with Xue'er and their children.

Maybe if they don't quarrel, the child will be born safely, maybe they will meet a few years later, and the ending will be much better than now, but there are so many possibilities in life.

After the operation, Xue'er returned home, she and Shen Hua no longer had contact, she would hold a koala doll that Shen Hua bought for her in the hospital every day, Jin Zi would sometimes come to visit Xue'er, Xue'er's mother sometimes accused her of being disobedient while mopping the floor, Xue'er cried helplessly in her room, she said heartbreakingly: "Haven't I listened to you already?!Haven't I already had children?!" There was no other conversation, and the room was silent.

Jin Zi has not been to see Xue'er for a week because of her mother's obstruction, it was Christmas, Jin Zi will never forget it for the rest of her life, she secretly ran to Xue'er's house after studying at night, and just entered the community and saw a group of people talking about something around Xue'er's unit, Jin Zi hurriedly ran over, she pushed aside the crowd, only saw a pool of blood on the ground, the sound of electricity sounded in her ears, and she could only hear those people saying: "Girl, jump off the building" With these words, Jin Zi ran upstairs and saw that the door of Cher's house was open, and there were police officers in Cher's house, and she was sitting on the ground with her eyes black.

When she woke up again, Jin Zi was already in her father's car, and her father advised her: "Be strong, it's good for people to go through more trials and setbacks." "For the first time, Kaneko experienced the feeling of heartache, it turns out that when a person is very sad, tears can't flow, and the heart can really feel pain, and it turns out that what is played in the TV series is not all lies.

Kaneko didn't know what kind of mood Cher was in when she jumped from the top floor, and she didn't leave any last words for anyone. Kaneko thought that she could finally be reunited with her children in another world, and that the home and warmth she wanted might never be found in this world.

After a long time, Jin Ziyou heard the news of Shen Hua, and their whole family left the small mountain village and went to the coastal city where they had worked with Xue'er before, and also bought a house there, maybe now he should have his own family and his own children. But we've all lost Cher forever.

Kaneko remembered a question Cher had asked her, and she said, "Why are you called Kimko?" Jin Zi said, "My grandfather gave it to me, and he said that gold always shines." Cher smiled and said, "Gold is not a light bulb, as long as it is buried deep enough, it will never shine." "Gold suddenly felt that it made sense, even gold could not lie motionless in the soil, and had to climb desperately to the surface to be discovered. "Then why are you called Cher?" Kaneko asked, "because my parents met on a snowy night, and they thought that snow was very pure and romantic, and if they had a daughter, they would be called Cher." Cher replied. "Then what would be called if I gave birth to a son?" asked Kaneko again. Xue'er thought for a while and said, "I don't know, alas, let's call it an ice cube!" Kaneko also giggled.

Now that I think about it, both ice and snow are the purest things in the world, the most beautiful products of nature, they are not always there, and they are short and beautiful, the more you want to hold them in your hands, the more you can't keep them, they have their own place where they should be.

"Cher, it doesn't always snow in the city I live in now, you know?" Kimko muttered. Suddenly, a phone call broke Kaneko's thoughts, it was Kaneko's father, and his father usually only called Kaneko once a week, this time there should be something wrong, Kaneko immediately picked up the phone, but heard a news that surprised her.

Today's dream: I didn't rest well today, I didn't dream.