I walked in the alley of Xitang in despair, sometimes love is so close to you, but sometimes it is so far, I think of one of my junior sisters.

At that time, she was a senior in high school, she called me every night and told me about her situation, she said that she seemed to have depression, so every time she called, I would comfort her, and sometimes even forgot to call Tang Xi at night, so I could only send Tang Xi a good night late at night.

My current state is similar to depression, I have no energy, I am depressed, I found a hotel, connected to the wireless network and paid for the room, and then took the room card to the room, and I was not in the mood to take a bath, I lay directly on the bed, I drank one after another in the past few days, and today I was on the road for another day, I could feel that my body was very tired, but I just couldn't sleep.

As soon as I closed my eyes, my mind was full of pictures of Tang Xi holding dandelion seeds, that was the first time I met her, and then I couldn't forget her, and the next few encounters, I could always see her at a glance, and once I passed by her, her hair brushed the tip of my pen, that itchy feeling.

I can feel my heartbeat clearly, it's pounding, it's beating for the first time in my life and I feel like my heart lives for someone else.

Tang Xi's appearance gradually blurred in my mind, and I knew that I was about to fall asleep, but I tried to restrain myself from remembering the state at this moment, and I didn't want to forget the feeling that I really lost Tang Xi.

Unprecedentedly, I realized that I had lost her, but I was unwilling, I kind of understood Ziming's feeling of really losing the person he loved, a little painful, a little relieved, and complex emotions filled the whole person.

Then I fell asleep, I dreamed of Tang Xi, and then I dreamed of many people, in the dream I had a kind of thought that I was dead, otherwise I wouldn't have thought of these people who had no impression but knew me.

At six o'clock in the morning, I woke up from a dream, and my whole state was confused, and I couldn't tell what the situation was.

Then I stared at the wall for a long time, to sort out what happened in the dream, first I dreamed of Tang Xi.

Then there is a fat man in the class of junior high school, the fat man is called Si Hongwen, because junior high school has been a boarding school, and the fat man has a dormitory with me, but the friendship is not deep, but it makes me very strange to dream of a fat man.

The second person in the dream is a high school classmate, who studied art, and still has an impression of him, because he eats instant noodles in the dormitory at night at school, he always stares at everyone who eats instant noodles, and when he is almost finished, there will always be such a sentence: Applejack, leave some soup, and leave me some noodles, you are too, don't pour the soup.

We usually call him Mr. Xia, and the thing that impressed him a little deeply was that when I returned to the dormitory after class in the afternoon, I ate instant noodles with him on the balcony, and then this product gave me a sentence: I seem to see a big thing falling down in the teaching building opposite, as if someone jumped off the building.

Talking about how long the noodles were still dragging in the mouth, he looked at the teaching building opposite, and sucked the noodles slightly.

The third is a college roommate, Ziming, I can still understand Ziming in a dream, but the first two people have no friendship after graduating from junior high school and high school, and there is no contact.

I wondered why I dreamed of them, whether there was any reason for it, but no matter what I thought, I couldn't figure it out. Then I thought of Tang Xi again, and thought that I had graduated from college, and I suddenly realized that I had really graduated.

My stage as a student is completely over, and I don't feel uncomfortable at this time, but I just feel empty. Overnight, it seemed that I had not only lost my love, but also those years of youth, which had passed like this, and would never come back.

At this time, the mobile phone WeChat called: "Hey, Tian Jie, what's wrong?"

"I got married today, you won't forget, remember to come over, I have reserved a seat for you. ”

I promised Tian Jie, remembering that Tian Jie had notified me as early as a month ago, and then I went to wash up and booked a ticket back.

As soon as I booked the ticket, the WeChat call came again, I took a look, it was Yang Chao's, and I answered the phone: "Hey, Chao, what's wrong." ”

"Tian Jie, are you going to get married today?"

"I promised him to go, what about you. ”

"I'm still thinking, I asked Miko, and now it's just the three of us who are sure to go, so I'm here to ask you if you want to go, and if you want to go, I'll go. ”

I thought about it, I was divided into classes every semester in three years of high school, and I was still playing with Tian Jie and Yang Chao, and I didn't break off contact when I went to college.

After going through it in my mind, I replied to Yang Chao: "I'll rush back now, the three of us played well in high school, we didn't go, and my high school classmates probably didn't go." ”

Yang Chao smacked after hearing this: "Then you are here, come to my house first, and let's go together." ”

I promised Yang Chao to go to his house first, and then at noon, we went to the hotel together, and after arriving at the hotel, one person gave Tian Jie a red envelope of five hundred.

This was discussed in advance, they all just graduated, and they couldn't take out too much money, so they could only take out five hundred, after all, they still had to live later.

Tian Jie chatted with us for a few words, and he went to get busy, Yang Chao and I could understand, so I found Meizi, and made it at her table, during which there was no word of chatting, and then Meizi added my WeChat, Meizi is much more beautiful than in high school, after all, when I go to college, I will put on makeup, and I will dress up, and my taste will come up, and the whole person will feel changed.

Pretty is a little, but my heart is still a little longing. When a man sees a beautiful woman, he says in his heart that it is impossible not to be moved. But I'm just excited, I only experienced the incident with Tang Xi yesterday, and I can't raise any desire for other things.

The wedding ceremony started very quickly, and I was very familiar with the rhythm of the ceremony, and I was doing wedding photography during my internship, so I was already very familiar with the process of the wedding.

I saw Tian Jie on the stage with a happy and satisfied smile, to be honest, I was very envious, he and his girlfriend got married as soon as they graduated, they should belong to the kind of really happy kind.

Then I looked back at myself, and I could feel that I was now like an earthworm living in the shadows, afraid to climb on the ground, for fear that the sun would pierce me.

At this moment, Tian Jie is very happy under the light, and I, like everyone else, under the guidance of the host, loudly wishes: Happy newlywed.

It's over, I went to his house with Yang Chao again, he talked a lot because he drank at noon, and I took the trouble to listen to him say that the girl he liked in high school has been in touch until now.

Maybe it was the stimulation of Tian Jie's marriage today, and I can understand Yang Chao's feelings in my heart.

We talked for a long time in the afternoon, and finally Yang Chao said to me: "Li Da, I am also writing novels now, and I want to write my stories, but I can't express many of them in words." You graduated in this area. I think we have some things in common in this regard, and I will ask you if you have any questions in the future, and you should not dislike my bad writing, so you can be a teacher to check the homework for students. ”

I responded to Yang Chao and sent him some of the things I usually write on WeChat, and then I looked at the time: "I'm leaving, I have to go to work tomorrow, I just came back from school, and today I gave another 500 to Tian Jie, and I don't have money to live if I don't go to work." ”

"Li Da, I hope that in this regard, we can contact more in the future and communicate with each other. ”

"Okay, what you wrote, you can send it to me, and I will send it to you, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, there's nothing to be embarrassed about in your interests and dreams. Okay, I'm leaving, or I won't be able to catch the car. ”

It was already past eight o'clock when I got home in the evening, and I was lying in bed, not knowing what to do, as if I had lost any motivation, all the desires and strength of my body, including things about dreams.

I lost interest, I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to lie in bed, and even if I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to move.