It was pouring rain outside the window, but it was quiet inside, and I was driving the car while I turned my head from time to time to look at Xia Yan next to me.

She sat in the passenger seat, her head bowed and she didn't say a word.

I unconsciously clenched the steering wheel with my hand, but still opened my mouth and shouted, "Xia Yan." ”

However, Xia Yan didn't answer me, as if she hadn't heard me, immersed in her own world.

Although my eyes were staring at the road ahead, my mind was not on it, and not getting Xia Yan's answer made me feel a little panicked, and after a while, I called out again: "Xia Yan." ”

This time, Xia Yan finally heard it, and turned her head to look at me with puzzled eyes: "Chen Ye, what's wrong?"

I stared into her eyes, trying to find something in them that would make me feel at ease: "You're going to be with me all the time, aren't you?"

I was asking her, but I also knew that she wouldn't give the answer I wanted to hear, and it made me despair.

"Chen Ye ......" Xia Yan looked at me with her black and white eyes, her eyes were a little unbearable, but more cruel reason: "You know I can't lie to you...... Chen Ye, I really can't promise you anything......"

"You just told me that you will accompany me again. "I was like a stubborn child, holding on to what she had said not long ago, trying to get her to make it happen.

"I'm just saying to spend as much time with you as I can, but I really don't know how long I'll be able to stay with you. ”

Xia Yan looked at me with a calm look in her eyes, as if she was looking at an unreasonable child and asking him to accept the facts.

"Can you... Can you do it again... Try again......" I looked at her, incoherently almost pleading.

"Didi-" The shrill whistle suddenly sounded, and a large truck drove towards us.

I turned my head to see a large truck not far away, slamming the steering wheel, and the dazzling white light irritated my eyes.

"Whew-"

"Whew-"

I sat up suddenly, the fear of death made me unconsciously breathe heavily, the sound of rapid breathing was unusually clear in the dark room, sweat soaked my clothes, and I pressed the phone to feel palpitations.

Four o'clock.

The numbers displayed on my phone tell me that it was another bad night.

From this moment on, I will be awake and irritable until dawn.

I leaned back on the head of the bed, the lights were not on, and the darkness kept me calm.

I remembered the last time I had a dream, Xia Yan was standing on the roof of a tall building leaning against the railing, and I asked her to hold on and beg her to stay with me again. I felt as painful and depressed then as I do today.

I feel that today's dream is more like an extension of the previous dream, if the last dream is assumed to be true, is this dream also real?

If everything that happened in the dream was true, and Xia Yan and I really had a car accident, then I was the main person responsible for the car accident, if I hadn't asked when I was driving, I didn't drive well, maybe the car accident wouldn't have happened. I'm still alive, but I've lost my memory, so what about Xia Yan? Where is Xia Yan? Is she still alive? Or—because of my mistake I paid with my life.

I was in a state of self-denial remorse, and if I hadn't been obsessed with wanting to hear the answer I wanted from her mouth, or asking again on a different occasion, would our tragedy not have happened?

I clenched my fists and pounded the bed a few times, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was the culprit.

But I subconsciously wanted to find some reason to excuse myself, and I suddenly remembered the file I got from the police station ten years ago, where the cause of the car accident was obviously a red light, but in the dream just now, it was an oncoming truck, and I was dodging.

If you look at the records in the file, then what I just dreamed was not a real thing, it was just a dream, even if in my heart I always felt that it was a real thing.

I'd rather believe the file than the assumption that the dream was real, because if it was true, I would probably be a little less culpable, even if I don't know why I ran the red light at the time.

The unknown is easier to accept than the established culpability.

Dream or reality, which is real?

The real dreams and false realities made me fall into repeated doubts, and I thought about it for a long time and still couldn't come to a conclusion.

Is Ha Yeon still alive and where has she gone?

Why is it as if everyone around me is weaving a huge illusory world for me, giving me illusory memories?

Is there any truth to me?

The questions in my mind made me feel so haggard that I couldn't answer them.

I lay motionless on the bed, like a corpse.

"Chen Ye, come down to eat. ”

Not long after the alarm clock rang at 10 o'clock in the morning, my mother called me down for dinner.

I was conscious, but my body felt like it was stuck in the mire, and I couldn't move.

"Chen Ye?" didn't hear my response, and my mother called again.

I could hear it, but I still didn't answer, my body was on the bed, my soul seemed to float in the air, I couldn't figure out the answers to those questions, and I felt more and more strange about everything around me.

"Chen Ye?" my mother called me again, and after a while I heard her footsteps: "This kid, did you go to work so early today?"

My mother knocked on the door, then opened the door and came in, and saw that I was still lying on the bed, so she asked, "Chen Ye, it's ten o'clock, come down and eat, aren't you going to work today?"

I tilted my head and looked at my mom lifelessly, "I'm not going to work." ”

Seemingly frightened by my appearance, my mother said worriedly, "If you don't go to work, you won't go to work, you have to come down and eat." ”

"I don't want to eat it. I want to sleep a little longer, Mom, you can help me close the door. After saying that, I hugged the quilt and turned to the other side, in fact, it was not that I still wanted to sleep, but the passivity was the only way I could choose to deal with the world at the moment.

Probably sensing the change in my mood, my mom didn't say anything, and helped me close the door and get out.

Towards the end of the afternoon, I felt a little hungry, so I went downstairs with my slippers, intending to find something to eat.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw Yixin downstairs, my mother was talking to her, there were two half-drunk cups of hot tea on the coffee table, and I don't know how long she had been here.

My mom must have called her, I thought to myself.

I realized that something might be wrong for me to go down in my pajamas, so I turned around and decided to go back to my room and change my clothes before coming out.

But as soon as I turned around, I was stopped by Ishin.

"Chen Ye, I heard from my aunt that you have slept all day, do you still want to sleep?" Yi Xin stood up and said to me with a smile, as if the stupid things I did last night did not affect her.