"No, I don't. I subconsciously retorted, brushing my upturned hair with my hand: "I'm just going to change my clothes." ”

"This kid has a good face, just let him change his clothes, let's continue to talk about ours, leave him alone. My mother, Raisin, sat down and continued to talk to her.

By the time I came out of my room, my mom and Ishin were already preparing dinner.

The afterglow of the setting sun shone through the window on Ishin's body, gilding her with a pale golden glow.

Looking at Yixin's busy back in the kitchen, I felt more and more good about her.

This kind of goodness is not a shallow goodness based on specific things, but a good that she has been obscure to me for so many years and does not ask for anything in return.

Yixin and my mom have always been very close, and I didn't think it was anything for a long time, but yesterday made me feel that what I had done before.

Not only did I not want to take the initiative to get to know Yi Xin's friends, but I didn't even know Yi Xin's family.

With this in mind, I went into the bathroom and washed up.

The rattling of running water stopped as soon as I turned the faucet, and I wiped my face with my hand and opened my eyes.

I stared at my wet self in the mirror and asked.

Am I really ready to be Ishin's husband, and am I really able to take on the responsibilities of a family?

These questions all stem from my guilt for Yi Xin, but soon I think of Xia Yan again, and I remember the very real dream I had last night, I don't know where Xia Yan is now, let alone the truth about the car accident ten years ago.

If Xia Yan has passed away, and I really have a direct relationship with her death, can I still be at ease to become what everyone around me expects, completely forget Xia Yan, marry Yi Xin, and start a new stage of my life?

The answer to this is very clear, no.

It's the worst I've assumed, and if it does, I can't live the life that people around me want me to live as if nothing had happened, and I don't deserve it.

I was still decadent after washing in the mirror, my eyes were red, and the stubble of my beard that I hadn't shaved all night was coming out.

The mysteries of these days have made me no longer glamorous, and accepting those lies seems to make me happier, but I don't want to.

"What are you looking at, handsome guy, why didn't I know you were still so narcissistic?" Yi Xin leaned against the door of the bathroom and joked with me a little teasingly, "The meal is ready, let's come out and eat when you enjoy it." ”

I looked at Ishin in the mirror and tugged at the corners of my mouth: "I'll be right away." "She must have felt my emotional problems at the moment, so she used this joking way to communicate with me.

I picked up the clean towel on the shelf next to me, dried my face, and went out with her.

As usual, the table was full of dishes that I liked to eat, and I could tell which dish was made by Yi Xin and which was made by my mother.

Everything seems to have changed and I will be able to live the rest of my life in happiness as long as I want to.

But since that day I started dreaming about Xia Yan repeatedly, that change was already there, and I began to feel that these happiness were false, strange, and difficult for me to accept.

It is always difficult for me to get the real answers I want among my relatives and friends, whether it is intentional concealment or white lies, but there is less honesty and less truth.

But they don't know how important these truths are to me, they affect my emotions, they affect my love, they affect my perception of my family and friends, and they affect every aspect of my life.

Only by thoroughly understanding what happened before can I live my life in the true sense of the word, or my life with Yixin.

"Listen to Chen Ye, have you picked out all the wedding dresses for him?" said my mother with a piece of meat for Yi Xin.

"Thank you, Auntie, yes, Chen Ye's dress was picked by me, and my dress was picked by Chen Ye. Yi Xin smiled and thanked me and didn't tell my mom about my late arrival yesterday.

Knowing that my mood was not quite right today, my mom didn't ask me any questions and kept talking to Yixin about the wedding.

When the meal was almost over, my mother answered a phone call, it was about her to play mahjong, three missing one, she heard it and roared away, leaving me and Yixin at home.

I have been lying in bed for a long time today, I haven't eaten for a day, although the mood is not pleasant, but eating always makes people's mood better, so I ate longer.

Eah's meal was not large, and when my mom left, she was already full, and she didn't rush to clean up the plates on the table, but sat next to me and watched me eat, as if she wanted to say something to me.

I subconsciously slowed down my chewing speed, and with the level of confusion in my mind today, I really didn't feel like I was fit to communicate right now.

Ishin was patient and didn't speak until I couldn't eat anymore.

"Chen Ye, have you drawn up the list of guests over there for our wedding? I asked my aunt before, and she said that she didn't know very well, let me ask you again. "Ishin's tone was very gentle, and he had taken care of my emotions to the greatest extent.

But I still feel annoyed for no reason: "Isn't the wedding day still undecided, isn't it a bit early to prepare for these now?"

"The 20th of next month is the wedding date we set, and now it is the end of the month, and there are still more than 20 days to prepare the guest list. "Yixin tried to keep her emotions to herself, explained to me, didn't even bother with me, I didn't remember the day we got married.

"Isn't there more than twenty days left?" Even after listening to Yi Xin's words, I didn't want to organize the list, I just blindly avoided it.

This attitude of mine still made Yi Xin a little annoyed: "Gu Chenye, if you don't want to draw up the guest list over there, you can tell me, I can discuss with my aunt to sort them out one by one, what does your attitude mean now?"

"My attitude, what's wrong with my attitude?" I got up and folded up a few dirty dishes on the table and put them in the sink: "I'm really annoyed today, I don't want to talk about these things, okay another day? another day." ”

My refusal to communicate ended up making Ishin angry.

"Gu Chenye, I'll ask you one last sentence today, are you going to get married or not?"

Before I heard this sentence, my mind was a confusion of abstract paintings, all colors, and after hearing this sentence, it was pitch black, blacker than the blackest and longest night.

The emotions I had been avoiding, doubting, doubting, fearing, angry, and so on poured into my dark mind, seemingly indifferent, but collapsed, defeated, and hopeless.