"Summer... Summer... Oh yes, Xia Yan was your former classmate and our former neighbor, and then we didn't move, so we didn't have much contact. My mom replied in a panic.

"Is there something you're hiding from me?" I asked, looking at my mom's panicked expression. "What about pity, why do you say Xia Yan is pitiful?"

"Didn't I just hear your Aunt Zhang say that Xia Yan had a car accident, so my mother said a few words casually, they are all inconsequential. Son, since we're here to buy a gift for Yi Xin today, how about you come and see this?"

After listening to my mother's answer, I felt my heart shake violently, like a broken ship in a typhoon, and it took a long time to slowly subside. Because it was in public, I didn't ask repeatedly, so I had to keep silent for the time being.

After buying the clothes, I sent them to Yi Xin that night, she put on the dress, and there was a silver necklace around her neck, and she looked at me in the moonlight and smiled, her smile was silent and bright, like a snow lotus blooming in the deep mountains. A dress of black hair is fluffy and neat, like a sleeping wave.

After leaving Yixin's house, I went home and lay down in bed to rest, but the doubts in my heart were still not resolved. Was what my mom said true? Was it irrelevant? Or was it because I took those dreams too seriously? I kept asking myself in my heart, ten, hundred, even a thousand, more earnestly, more and more painful, more and more futile.

"Chen Ye, are you okay?"

In the midst of the difficulty, I opened my eyes and was shocked to see Xia Yan sitting on the edge of my bed. "What the hell are you going to tell me?" I asked, reaching for her, but she was soon gone again. Leaving only the silent night and the empty darkness around the room.

I sat in bed for a long time, and said in my heart full of melancholy: "Was that a hallucination just now? Or did I dream again? So am I in a dream now, or am I waking up from a dream? Is Xia Yan really just a passerby in my life? If it really doesn't matter, then why do I dream of her again and again?"

The next day after work, in order to verify what my mother said, I found the address where I used to live and wanted to go over and see if I could find something.

I followed the route on the map alone in the direction of the old town, the air was filled with the scent of seasonal flowers, and the light of the setting sun was hidden under the street lamps. I looked around and tried to make up for the memories I had lost.

I walked from south to north across the bridge across the river, and beyond that, the home I lived in more than a decade ago is now a whole block to be demolished. It has been idle for several years, and the street lights have long been out of power. The white moonlight poured down generously, casting the shadows of the trees on the walls and floor.

At this time, I stopped in front of the old site before my family moved and looked at the old houses that had been abandoned for a long time and the drink shop not far away. Looking up at the floor-to-ceiling window in the southeast corner of the second floor, memories flowed in the river of hearts one by one, and I suddenly returned to the panicked school days.

That drink shop is the place I go to most often after school. Business has always been light, though, and I sit in the same spot almost every time I go — a separate booth with gray-green linen curtains in the southeast corner.

In my memory, I sat on the booth seat, and Xia Yan sat opposite me, and the curtains were hooked up with bronze curtains. Outside the window, sometimes white clouds and blue sky, sometimes lingering drizzle, there I held her hand for the first time, put my arm around her waist for the first time, and kissed her mouth for the first time.

At that time, we all liked sunny winter days, I leaned against the window, she leaned on my shoulder, like a pair of lazy cats of a male and a female, her body and mood were soft like clouds, and she fell asleep without paying attention. Open your eyes, and a trance has passed a lifetime.

I escaped from the picture of memory, took out my phone and looked at it, only fifteen minutes later, I unconsciously raised my head again, my heart was like a knife, and a trace of bitterness came to my heart, and I was overwhelmed.

I suppressed the feeling of emptiness in my heart. Keep walking, because of the demolition, this place has long been uninhabited. I walked down the street and it seemed that I had found nothing but the hallucination.

When I got home, I called the psychiatrist and made an appointment with him to find out what the hallucinations were all about.

"Doctor Qin, I'm here again. ”

"Yo, Mr. Gu, do you have any new symptoms this time?"

"yes, and I've been hallucinating lately. ”

I told him about what had happened recently, especially the hallucinations that had occurred on these occasions. Then he asked, "Are all those hallucinations real?"

"This may be the feeling you remember in the past, and if the human brain focuses on a real feeling for a long time, it will automatically produce an illusion. ”

"You mean to say that these hallucinations are what I really felt before?"

"Well, it's probably like that, and if this hallucination occurs several times, it shouldn't be a coincidence. Do you miss your first love too much, Mr. Gu, is that first love in your hallucination beautiful? . ”

"Don't ask about this nonsense, you give me a serious point. I gave him a blank look, "So what should I do now, how can I get those memories of the past back?"

"Actually, I can't help it, unless... Unless you can find more clues about your past, you're left to yourself. He stood up and walked up behind me, patted me on the shoulder, and said.

"That's it......" I pondered. "Doctor, I'll go first this time, and I'll tell you if there's any new news, and we'll call you. ”

And just like that, I left the clinic and drove home while reflecting on what he had said. The moonlight was shining on the earth, and I vaguely remember the first time he said, "Real life is the most important thing." "Is it really good for me to value the memories of the past so much, and should I really let go and focus my life on Yixin and work?

It was about eleven o'clock in the evening when I got home, said hello to my mother, and went back to my room to get ready to rest.

"By the way, son, Yi Xin came to the house just now, she saw that you didn't come back so late and left first, and asked me to tell you to have lunch with her tomorrow. ”

"Oh yes, I see. I'll call her again tomorrow morning. ”

It seems that it was because it took too much time to see a psychiatrist, so I missed Ishin. When you see her tomorrow, you must apologize to her. I mentally planned what I was going to do tomorrow and fell asleep.

The next day, Yi Xin asked me to have dinner at the Midu Restaurant, and at 11:50 a.m., I arrived at the door of the restaurant.

"Chen Ye, you came so early, have you been waiting for me for a long time?"

"No, I've just arrived, so let's go in and eat. ”