When I came out of the psychiatric clinic and on the way home, I kept thinking back to what the doctor had just asked me about, for the car accident ten years ago, I had never tried to investigate the real cause of the accident, maybe there was some resistance in the psychological subconscious, or it was consciously ignored, but now it is really necessary to investigate that matter well.

Maybe the answer I've been looking for is in that car accident. I thought to myself.

When I got home and stepped through the door, my mom was mopping the floor, and when she saw me coming back, she put the mop aside, and then she met me and asked, "Where have you been?

"What?" I subconsciously touched my face, and reluctantly squeezed the corner of my mouth to squeeze out a smile: "No, Mom, my face is very good." ”

"What, miserable and white, I look very tired when I look at it, son, tell your mother honestly, if you have encountered something, don't hide it from your mother, your mother is worried." She grabbed my arm and looked at me anxiously.

Looking at the anxiety in her eyes, I suddenly remembered that I had heard her talk to Aunt Zhang about Xia Yan in the clothing store before, and I vaguely remembered the answer I gave to her at that time.

'Summer... Summer... Oh, by the way, Xia Yan was your former classmate and our former neighbor, and then we didn't move, so we didn't have much contact. ’

I remember what she said at the time, and I remember that she said that Xia Yan had a car accident, and because it was in public at that time, I didn't ask any further, but today I want to ask again, does my car accident ten years ago have anything to do with Xia Yan?

I know my mom is the most loving person in the world, so if she knew that this answer was so important to me, I think she would choose to save me.

"Mom, do you remember the car accident that happened to me ten years ago? Do you remember what car hit me at that time? and the number of people who were killed?" I looked at her with a serious expression, not missing a trace of the expression on her face.

"Car accident ......" My mother put down the hand holding my arm at this time, lowered her head a little weakly, her eyes were erratic, and she didn't dare to look at me, and then said in an inaudible voice: "That was ten years ago, I don't remember." ”

I took a step closer, grabbed her shoulders with both hands, and said, "Mom, I know you remember, I just want to know what happened to me in that car accident, you tell me okay? ”

It seemed to feel the begging in my tone, my mother's expression eased for a moment, but I didn't know what she thought, and in the next moment, she became firm, she took the initiative to meet my eyes and said: "Gu Chenye, you also know how old I am, my memory is really bad, you are my son, what good is it for me to deliberately hide it from you?"

Seeing the seriousness in my mother's expression, I began to hesitate, maybe she really forgot, but I thought about it again, how can ordinary people forget such a big thing as a car accident so easily?

Although I was very puzzled, I also knew that I couldn't ask my mother for any useful information today, just like I only knew that she knew about Xia Yan in the clothing store before, so I had to start from somewhere else.

"Mom, I see. I lowered the hand that had just rested on her shoulder, a little depressed, and was about to go upstairs to my room.

"Son, do you want to eat?" my mother asked me from behind.

"I don't eat it. I walked upstairs with my head down, without the slightest appetite.

"Little bunny, what's going on today, I don't have the strength to speak, I don't eat......" she muttered something in the back, I couldn't hear it clearly, now I just want to be in close contact with my own bed, and then comb through the information I've gotten these days.

I threw myself on the bed and lay on my back, staring at the ceiling with unfocused eyes.

Obviously, my mom is the one who knows best what happened to me, but she doesn't want to tell me everything, I know maybe she's doing it for my good, but I really don't want to live like this all the time.

I turned over and took out the turquoise cover of the diary from the drawer, the handwriting inside was both strange and familiar, I knew that I must have had a lot of good years with Xia Yan, who wrote this diary, called youth, but I seemed to be in the fog and could not detect the slightest bit.

It's like being in Truman's world, where all around you are real and unreal.

'There's only one trip to the hospital,' I made up my mind as I closed the journal in my hand and threw it on the bed.

"Knock knock!" there was a knock on the door.

When I opened the door, I saw my mom coming in with a bowl of egg noodles with tomatoes.

"If you feel uncomfortable, ask the company's leaders for a leave, and your body is more important. She placed her face on the table, looking as usual as if I hadn't asked her about the car accident before.

Perhaps I had lost hope of getting information from her and decided to try my luck at the hospital, and I was a little hungry when I looked at the steaming tomato egg noodles on the table.

"Thank you, Mom. I smiled and told her, then got up from the bed and sat down at the table to get ready to eat.

"What's polite to your mother?" she looked at me lovingly.

I've decided to go to the hospital to investigate, but I wasn't in the city 10 years ago, and in which hospital? I don't have a clue about it.

"Mom, what hospital am I in after that car accident ten years ago?" I asked, snorting and pretending to be inchual.

"This ...... How do I remember that?" she paused for a moment before she sat on the edge of the bed looking at me, and then looked away and rested on the turquoise cover I had dropped on the bed.

"Oh, then I... Was it in the city then?" I asked casually, slurring my mouth, but my eyes were fixed on her.

"Of course, where can you be if you're not in this city?" she replied quickly this time, as if she reached out to take the turquoise diary.

"Mom, I'm done. I put the bowl down, and there was a muffled sound between the bottom of the bowl and the table.

She shuddered, withdrew the hand that was reaching for the diary, and turned to look at me, "Have you eaten enough?"

There was a little worry in her expression, and even when she looked at me, that worry did not dissipate.

"When I'm full, my mother's noodles are delicious. I pulled out a tissue from the table and wiped my mouth, my words filled with satisfaction.

"Just eat enough, don't be too tired from work, know how to rest?" she said in a serious tone, taking the empty bowl from my desk.

"Okay, got it, Mom. I nodded.

"How old you are, you don't know how to take care of yourself, if it weren't for Yixin, I really wouldn't be at ease with you. So saying, she went out with the empty bowl, and as she closed the door, she looked at the turquoise journal on my bed.