23#

"Do you still have nightmares lately?"

"Hmm. ”

"Is it still the same dream? In the dream, you still can't get close to the coffin?"

"Hmm. ”

"What do you think about this dream?"

“...... I don't know how to say it. ”

"Anything goes. As long as it's about this dream, you can say what you think. ”

Hearing this, Nanfeng leaned back on his chair and slowly lowered his eyes.

"There must be a very important person in the coffin, I thought. ”

"Someone very important?"

"I don't know why, but I just feel that way. Every time I saw it, two voices spoke to me at the same time - you must open the coffin, you must not open the coffin. My idea was that no matter what was in it, whether it was a must-see or a must-see, I had to look at it. But every time it is stopped, it is like being stuck in a mire, and you can't get close. ”

"Do you feel like there's something stopping you...... Right?"

"Hmm. ”

"What do you think, what is that?"

“...... Dark. ”

"Darkness?"

"The darkness itself is holding me back. They didn't want me near the coffin. ”

"You used 'them'...... Do you think that darkness exists in the plural?"

“...... I do not know. Does it matter?"

"It can't be said that there is generally no difference between very important and unimportant things in dreams. ”

"Yes. ”

The south wind fell silent again. The white-clothed female doctor looked at the watch in her hand and looked at her again.

"You don't have to worry too much about dreams, although psychoanalysis attaches great importance to the interpretation of dreams, but not all schools of psychology attach great importance to this. You don't have to stress too much about the dream, sometimes, it's just a subconscious projection. ”

“...... Well. ”

"Speaking of which, you seem to be a little better than before, have you been in a good mood lately?"

"Really?" Nanfeng subconsciously touched his cheek, "probably because of ...... Made a nice friend. ”

"Friend, what kind of person is it?"

The white-clothed female doctor noted this and leaned forward slightly to look at her. Nanfeng thought about it for a while before giving his own answer.

"He's a nice guy. Or should I say...... It's normal. ”

"How?"

"When you see him...... It reminds me of the past. He's a guy who likes to please girls, and he's quite comfortable with him. It's just that sometimes it's a little too naïve, too easy to trust others...... But that's his own business. ”

"Do you think that's his own business?"

"Who to trust, who not to trust, what to believe and what not to believe, that is a matter for him to decide. I'm not him, so I shouldn't judge for him. ”

"You're not him, so can't you judge for him...... And what about your own judgment?"

"What?"

"What is it that makes you think he's naïve? Why do you think that, can you tell me?"

"Why do I think he's too naïve? Because he trusts Hua Xu too much. Hua Xu is very similar to that woman, even her smile is as fake and disgusting, I believe that someone will have an accident sooner or later...... Just like me. ”

"Just like you?"

“......”

The female doctor in white frowned disapprovingly.

"You don't still think it's your fault, do you?"

Nanfeng pursed his lips. She slowly raised her eyes and looked at the female doctor.

"Isn't it?" her voice was dry, "if it weren't for the fact that I believed the woman......

"If it's a hypothesis, isn't it?" the female doctor looked into her eyes quietly, "You didn't know anything back then, whether it was an alien, a supernatural ability, or a ghost...... You were only 12 years old at the time, you were a child, you didn't understand anything, and it was understandable that you were deceived by her...... So, forgive yourself. ”

“...... Forgiveness?"

Nanfeng sneered very briefly, and there was a great ridicule in that laughter, which was sarcasm for himself.

"Forgive myself?Will the dead forgive me?cloud...... Will he forgive me? I ...... that woman!"

Her throat choked and she couldn't go on. Trembling fingers slightly pulled a tissue from the paper drawer, covered it all over his face, raised his hand to cover it, and put it down for a while.

The female doctor looked at her and comforted her softly: "If others don't forgive you, you can't control that kind of thing." But...... At least yourself...... Don't be too yourself. Otherwise, you'll only get more and more miserable. ”

Nanfeng didn't answer, just lowered his head, and the corners of his mouth pulled out a sneer again.

Seeing this, the female doctor secretly sighed in her heart, and also understood that this question could not be continued.

"So, have you been able to accept physical contact with people lately?"

“......”

"Still doesn't work?"

"Before...... Once. ”

"Huh?"

"I was wounded, and he picked me up and carried me all the way out. Then...... It doesn't feel bad. ”

"Is he?"

"As far as I mentioned before, new friends. However, it only happened once. ”

"Even if it's just once, it's a good start. ”

The female doctor smiled and looked at the south wind gently.

"Your overreaction to physical contact is a type of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) that has been greatly traumatized by being betrayed by a 'friend', and that wound remains not only on your back, but also in your heart. The wound on his back turned into a scar over time, but the wound in his heart never healed. Your heart always remembers the pain at that time, and when you make physical contact with someone, that pain is awakened and a conditioned reflex is formed. That's one of the outward manifestations of your fear of associating with people. ”

"Fear, why not anger?"

"Your reaction is avoidance. If it's anger, your reaction should be aggressive. ”

Nanfeng's eyes darkened.

"Are you saying I'm still scared of that woman?"

"Can't say that. ”

The white-clad female doctor explained softly.

For example, you don't want to fall off a cliff and the woman has just pushed you down, and what you really want to avoid is the pain of falling off the cliff, not the woman who pushed you down. I say that, do you understand?"

“...... Well. ”

Nanfeng looked at his watch and noticed that a lot of time had passed. She stood up and walked out with the application signed by the female doctor.

"There are still people waiting for me, so I'll go first. ”

"Well, good. ”

The female doctor in white took off her glasses, and without the barrier of lenses, her eyes looked much sharper.

"The above passage was spoken by your former attending doctor, and the next passage is from me as an elder. ”

The footsteps of the south wind paused. Because she had her back to the female doctor, she only heard the other person's voice, with a sigh that was almost undetectable.

"Spare yourself, you've done enough to atone for your sins. ”

Nanfeng closed his eyes. Then, looking back, he smiled wryly at her.

"Doctor Ren, that's not atonement. The only thing that can atone for the sins is to make amends for the victims. And the dead will not come back. The living...... What I did for Yunjing couldn't make up for my mistakes at all. ”

She lowered her head slightly, staring at a certain point in the air where there was no zài.

"I'm just taking revenge. ”

Get revenge on guys like that woman.

"What must be said...... I guess it's to protect people like me. ”

Southwind laughed again.

"It doesn't make sense to say that now. I'm leaving. Let's talk about it next time. ”

Closing the door of the consultation room, Nanfeng leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths, which easily relieved the stagnation in his chest, and then walked downstairs.

Next, it's time to meet the clouds.

The shadow of the sunflower resurfaced in front of her eyes, and the smile of the young man in the flower field was still so clear after so many years. Nanfeng closed his eyes and forcibly waved the image out of his mind.

There's no going to come back, no matter what she does, that teenager...... Yunjing, he wouldn't smile at her like that again.

From that day on...... Never again.