Bai Jinnan is very busy, he doesn't spend much time with me every day, but he tries his best to find time to accompany me, his kindness to me, I see it in my eyes, remember it in my heart, I am very grateful, grateful for his care for me, grateful for his kindness to me, grateful for everything he has paid to me!

But I still feel very lonely, like a canary, locked in a cage all day long, no matter how beautiful the cage is, no matter how delicious the food is, I can't be happy, my heart still yearns for the sky, that kind of unrestrained life.

It's too boring in the palace.

On this day, I ordered Ning Yan to find pen, ink, paper, inkstone, and draw a bird, thinking that I would make a kite after the ink dried.

"Niangniang, if you want to fly a kite, you can order someone to do it or buy it, your hands are not suitable for these rough jobs. Ning Yan saw that I was sweating a little when I was making a kite, and said distressedly on the side.

I stopped pasting paper and asked her, "Ning Yan, have you ever been out of the palace?"

"The maidservant has been in the palace for fifteen years and has never gone out. ”

"What about your family? Aren't you going back to see them?"

"Back to the mother, the slave has no family, the slave and the maid were picked up by the lord of the country when he traveled, and he has been with the lord since he was a child. ”

"Oh......" then she can't understand my feelings, in her heart, this palace is her home.

"Why is Niangniang unhappy all the time?"

"Am I unhappy?"

"Yes, you can laugh, but your brow is always dyed with sorrow. ”

"Huh, is it?" I guess it's because I miss my relatives so much.

"Well, Niangniang is a person who doesn't hide her emotions, and anything you do will be written on your face. ”

"Really?" I am afraid that this habit is not suitable in this palace, and I will have to pay attention to it in the future.

"It's just that the slave maid has never understood, why is the mother unhappy, the lord of the country is so good to you?"

"You won't understand this, it has nothing to do with whether the lord is good to me or not. ”

"Why?"

"Because no matter how good the lord of the country is to me, he can't give me something, and he can't replace the place of my relatives in my heart. ”

"It turns out that the mother misses her relatives. ”

"Hmm. "I still miss the outside world, the sky where I can fly freely.

"Since you're homesick, then I'll go back with you one day......"

A voice rushed in, and I hurriedly stopped the pen in my hand and saluted Bai Jinnan: "Lord of the country." ”

"I still like to call my name and I prefer to be at ease. Bai Jinnan stretched out her hand and helped me up, "I am very carefree and leisurely in my arms. ”

"My lord, this is the palace. "That kind of long time is outside the palace, and now she has been locked up in the palace, so many rules, many etiquette, where is there still leisure and freedom?

"Okay, then I'll explain the matter and go back to the Imperial Kingdom the day after tomorrow?"

"Really?" I really miss my family, that's true.

"I'm the lord of the country, and I'm telling the truth. ”

"Thank you!"

"Thank me, can I stay tonight?"

"......" I lowered my eyes and did not rush to answer.

To outsiders, I was favored. But after marrying Bai Jinnan for so long, I still live in this big dormitory by myself, because Bai Jinnan knows that I haven't reached the point where I can give my S heart, he respects me, even if it's late, he will still go back to the bedroom next door to rest.

He lives next door to me, closest to me.

"Okay, don't have any psychological burden, I'll just talk about it. I can wait, wait until the day when you are willing to deliver the S heart to me. Bai Jinnan took my hand and rubbed it, "Come, I ordered someone to make a new pastry, try it, do you like it?"

I looked at him for a moment, why was he so kind to me?

After taking the delicate plate, Bai Jinnan took a piece of pastry from the plate and fed it to my mouth, "Qilin Country has everything, but there is no osmanthus tree, the ingredients used in this osmanthus cake have to be purchased in Yuguo, and it took a little time on the way, plus it took some time for the imperial kitchen to develop, and I don't know if this thing is the taste of Yuguo." ”

"It was delicious. "I can feel his intentions, I am not a weak person, I remember his kindness to me.

"If you can make you smile, no matter what you do, it's worth it. Bai Jinnan looked at me, and the starlight jumped in the sky under her eyes.

I was very touched and very happy, "Thank you, Lord ......"

"Hey, I miss those days when I met you, when you didn't have such a restrained and polite ......" Bai Jinnan's eyes dimmed, and then moved his gaze to the lotus pond.

The white lotus in the lotus pond blooms very well, and there are goldfish at the bottom of the pond, and they swim around very freely.

I had to be silent, at that time, I was afraid that I didn't know that I would marry Bai Jinnan, I was unrestrained at that time, and I couldn't compare with now.

"You are so resting, I will order someone to prepare, and set off to return to the imperial country the day after tomorrow. ”

"Good. I replied lightly, and looked up at him, he was a little thinner, and his face was still flat and calm.

Bai Jinnan looked at me, the corners of her mouth raised and turned to leave, with a faint sadness and sadness.

I looked at his back, my heart ached, I don't know why I was like this with Bai Jinnan, he always took care of me carefully, and I always responded to him carefully, I couldn't bear to see him sad and sad, but I couldn't make him happy.

I think that if Bai Jinnan and I really become husband and wife, then I will completely become a caged bird, and I will completely lose my way out, I am waiting, waiting for Bai Jinnan to marry a concubine, at that time, maybe his feelings can be transferred to another person, at that time, I may be able to get out of the way, I still want to fly freely.

I'll admit that I fell in love with him.

But, if I love him, I can't have him.

He can give me the best things in the world, but he can't give me what I want, the reason why I left a way out for myself and kept my distance from Bai Jinnan is that I am afraid that I will lose Bai Jinnan one day in the future. In order to get out of the way, I had to keep my distance from him.

Although there may be reluctance and attachment when leaving, sometimes when it comes to a certain situation, there is no way out.

I hate the lack of prudence in this house, I hate the deceit in this house, I am so tired that I have to watch out all day long, and I am even afraid to sleep.

Although Ziya is dead, I don't believe that those people will stop there, as long as I am in this palace for a day, those dormant people will wait for the opportunity to move, wave after wave, never stop.

There are too many such stories in the palace.

I know that I can't escape, I disappeared inexplicably when I was born, I was inexplicably assassinated when I was in the imperial country, I was inexplicably taken out of the palace at the wedding, and I attracted a false stigma, etc., these are not accidents, they are inevitable plans for a long time.