He Yuan smoked three cigarettes in a row, and the more he smoked, the more annoyed he became.

Throwing the car aside, He Yuan walked aimlessly on the street.

This area was demolished and built into a huge green park.

There are mountains, there are lakes, there are green turf.

Whenever at night, the neon lights flash, many people drag their families to play here, there are parent-child tours, there are also cats and dogs, it is very lively, Tian Rui took him here once before.

There are not many people in the park now, and after He Yuan walked around for a while, he saw a chair casually. He walked over to a chair and sat down, looking at the lake in front of him, and the townhouse opposite, and was there in a daze.

A lot seemed to flash through his mind, but when he thought about it, there was nothing.

It's a strange state.

He just stared at the lake blankly, thinking nothing, thinking nothing.

Suddenly, He Yuan was touched on the shoulder. He came back to his senses and looked back, but there was no human figure. When I turned around, I felt a fragrant breeze around me, and someone sat down next to me.

"What are you thinking? ”

A soft voice sounded in his ears, He Yuan turned his head, and when he saw the other party, his face was stunned for a moment: "Senior sister?"

"What's the matter, you're not welcome to see me?" Senior Sister stroked her hair, and the expression on her face was very calm.

If it had been placed before, He Yuan might have felt a little embarrassed.

But now his heart was empty, and he couldn't bring up anything.

"No, it's just a bit of a surprise, I didn't expect to meet you here. He Yuan shook his head and said.

"What's the surprise about this, I go out every day, and I have to meet seventeen or eighteen acquaintances along the way. Senior sister said lightly.

He Yuan thought about it carefully, and it seemed to be the same.

When I used to go out with my grandmother, I was an acquaintance of my grandmother along the way.

Everybody's grandmother had to stop and talk to each other for a while, and sometimes a street would take only a few minutes to walk, and the chat time would take up two or three hours.

So when he was a child, He Yuandu didn't like to go out with his grandmother, it was too grinding.

"What are you doing here?" He Yuan didn't know what to say.

His mind was empty, he didn't want to think about anything, so he found a random topic and began to talk awkwardly.

"The sun is out today, the weather is good, I took the children out to bask in the sun. Senior sister said.

He Yuan followed her gaze, and sure enough, he saw a little girl and an old man in the distance, playing on the turf. The child was holding something like a leather ball in his hand and was chasing and fighting, and the old man followed closely behind, for fear that the child would fall.

"It's good. He Yuan looked at the warm scene in the distance, and a smile appeared on his face.

"What about you, what are you doing here?" the senior sister asked rhetorically.

"It's nothing, I just went to a friend's wedding, and on the way back, I saw a nice view here, so I came over to sit down. He Yuan turned his head, not wanting to delve into the topic.

"You don't seem to be in a good mood. Senior sister said.

He Yuan was silent, not knowing how to answer. After a while, he shook his head: "No." ”

He's still not used to revealing his heart in front of outsiders, oh no, and acquaintances can't either.

I always feel that it is a shame to speak my heart in front of others.

"It just so happens that I'm not in a good mood lately, and if there is something unhappy, say it, and make me happy. Senior sister said.

He Yuan looked back and saw that his senior sister was also looking at the lake, and her face was neither happy nor sad.

"I remember, the real estate on the other side seems to be Mijas Town, right?" After being silent for a while, He Yuan spoke.

"You said that neighborhood, well, it seems to be. Senior Sister paused for a moment, and said casually.

"I remember when I first came here, the neighborhood was only halfway built, and there were spa apartments, bungalows, and townhouses. We played on the golf course inside, taking pictures and taking pictures of the buildings they pushed out. I remember that there were quite a lot of people coming at that time, in groups, and the sales hall was almost crowded. He Yuan recalled.

"That property...... Well, it's okay, it's quite close to the mountain, and it's quite suitable for retirement. I've been here before, but at that time, the facilities here were not built, and if you wanted to buy something to eat, you had to drive to the nearby towns, and life was too inconvenient, so forget it. Senior sister said.

"I remember that the house price at that time was not very high, 16 years ago, the house here was only three or four thousand one square meters, Chengdu was a little more expensive, I lived in the south of the city, there was an elevator room within five years, only seven or eight thousand, if you don't want an elevator, five or six thousand can be bought. I was thinking, I'll work hard in Beijing for five or six years, and when I have some money, I'll come back and buy a house, buy a car, and invest in a small business. He Yuan looked into the distance, his eyes were blank, and he fell into memory.

"Then you're paid a lot. Senior sister glanced at He Yuan.

"No, when I first started working, it was only 3,000 a month, and the internship period was eighty percent, and it was 2,004. By the time of the second year, the basic salary was 6,000, plus various subsidies, and it was about 7,000. Later, I followed the old leader to start a business, and the salary was reduced a little, becoming 5,000 yuan, but it took a year to make the performance up, and the basic salary was raised to 9,000, and if the performance is counted, I can get almost 20,000 yuan a month. And at that time, the company was already preparing to go to the new third board, and the due diligence had passed, and the boss promised me about 3 million options. He Yuandao.

"Why do you want to come back with such a high income?" asked the senior sister.

"Actually, as far as I'm concerned, I think I'm quite satisfied, after all, I'm a college graduate, and it took me two and a half years to get this result, and I'm very satisfied. Although the basic salary is a little lower, the overtime is a little harder, the business is done a little more, and the bonus is a little slower...... But you can endure these things, endure them for five or six years, and when you come back, it will be easy. When the time comes, I want to open a coffee shop, not to make money, but mainly because I think the coffee shop is quite emotional. The pace of life in Beijing is too fast, in fact, many times, I really want to calm down, make a cup of coffee, put on a soft music, well, I haven't heard a song for a long time, I used to wear headphones to listen to music every day, walking, eating, sleeping. I can't do it now, I feel noisy when I hear it, and I can't stand it as if there are bees 'buzzing' in my head. ”

"Then you can do it now. After listening quietly, the senior sister said.

He Yuan smiled, habitually took out the cigarette case, hesitated, took out a cigarette from the cigarette case, and put it in his hand.

"It's like smoking, but I don't really like smoking. When I started smoking, I smoked to socialize and fit in. But then I realized that I couldn't let it go. In fact, it's normal to think about it, to be honest, it's quite lonely to be alone in Beijing. At that time, I was busy with work, well, how busy I was, that is, I was so busy every day that I couldn't spare time, even if I was on the subway, I had to take out my mobile phone to brush the data, if I swiped the data abnormally, or if there was any problem, I had to call someone to change it immediately, sometimes I couldn't contact someone, or someone was on the road, so I had to do it myself. So the two most expensive things I have are computers, and the other is mobile phones. In the first two years I worked, most of the money I saved was used to pay off my credit card. He Yuan laughed at himself.

"It means that you work very hard, and your efforts are worthy of your income. Senior sister said lightly.

"Do I count hard?" He Yuan smiled self-deprecatingly.

"I don't know if you understand that feeling, it's the kind of person who has been in a small city all along, and suddenly one day, he goes to a big city and doesn't understand anything, he doesn't know anything. I remember when I first arrived in Beijing, I was very reluctant to go out alone. You also know that in our hometown, we used to take the bus with coins, but it wasn't there, and it was a credit card over there. ”

"But I don't understand, I don't know where to apply for a card, where to recharge. I really had to go out and take the subway because tickets were available there. But I was too embarrassed to go to the window to queue, and I always felt that people asked me where to go, and I didn't understand anything, so I was a little nervous, so I went to the ticket vending machine to buy tickets. ”

"But I don't know how to sell ticket machines, when I first went to Beijing, the subway in Chengdu hadn't opened yet. Therefore, I can only use my mobile phone to surf the Internet, and check the ticket purchase process on the Internet first, but I still don't understand the process, so I stand at the ticket machine to see how others get it, what steps are used, and after the people leave, I go up and explore it by myself. It's not good when there's someone, because when there's someone around, I'm nervous, and if I get it wrong a few times, I'm messed up. ”

"I can't tell you, you were quite shy at the time. Senior sister said.

"Because I don't know anything, I need to learn everything by myself. At that time, when you were just out of society, it wasn't like in school, there were teachers who specialized in teaching you. Everyone is very busy, with their own circles, their own work, their own performance, who will take care of you? So I can only learn by myself, if there is anything I don't understand, first check on the Internet, I really can't find it, just join the group, ask my peers, if this still can't be solved, then ask my colleagues, ask the leader. Maybe at that time, I developed my cautious character, after all, with my character, in that environment, I must try to ensure that I don't make mistakes, otherwise I will be very embarrassed, I will blame myself, and I will be very unbearable. ”

"Because there is so much to learn, I am not like others, who are able to complete the business quickly and then go out to eat and drink. I'm working when others are resting, and I'm supplementing my knowledge when others are watching videos. That was the first time I felt that the gap between me and others was too big, and anyone who had lived in Beijing for a few months could completely blow up me at that time, and at that time, really, I felt that I was simply useless. ”

He Yuan finished laughing at himself, lit a cigarette in his mouth, and lit it with a lighter.

Looking at the smoke drifting in the air, He Yuan narrowed his eyes and continued to fall into his memories.

"I'm a bit of a mess with my head, so I'll talk about it casually. Well, it's probably because of this reason that I rarely go out, one is because I don't know too much, I have to learn too much, and as a result, I learn more, and then the burden on my body is heavy. Because a lot of the startups I went to were startups, startups, that is, I had to do everything, I had to do everything, and at that time, I did content, products, operations, and business. No way, in a small company, you can do more, you can get more, if you want to do the same, you want to rely on the same work to get a commission, get a bonus, then you must be your leader enough, unfortunately, at that time I was the leader. If I don't fight for them, they have nothing. ”

"Well, this one looks like this. Senior Sister nodded in agreement.

"So others can play, I can't. Many people think, hey, how can I be so smart, the industry I choose is so good, or rather, how can I be so lucky, always stepping on the tuyere, and climbing to such a high position in a few years. Heh, it's all. In the five years I TM, I didn't dare to take a day off, and sometimes when I got sick, I had to get up from the hospital bed, and I couldn't walk, so I took a taxi. In fact, I rarely take a taxi in Beijing, because it is too expensive, enough for my food for a day. In the past, I would play games and watch videos, but I didn't have time to get them later. I hold myself back every day, brushing data, doing analysis, and talking about business channels. Our leaders also worked hard at that time, and often sent me WeChat at two or three o'clock in the morning to talk about business and process. On weekends, when everyone else is resting, we have to go to the company for meetings, look for bugs, and do business ...... Because everyone is working hard, my performance has increased fifty times in the first half a year of employment. ”

"In fact, wherever there is luck, it is all fought for life. ”

"Since then, I've gotten used to smoking, because you're in front of the computer all day, and your brain is really stiff, and you have to do something. I used to drink coffee, but then I drank coffee to the point where I wanted to vomit and it didn't work, so I should drink Coke. I drank too much coke and couldn't eat, so I started smoking...... At that time, I basically had to go out to smoke once an hour, smoking two cigarettes at a time, from half a pack a day, to one pack a day, to two packs a day, and my addiction to smoking became heavier and heavier, and my hair fell out very badly. Hey, look at my hairline now, isn't it very high?" He Yuan lifted his bangs and showed it to his senior sister.

Senior sister glanced at it and nodded, "Well, it's quite high." ”

"It was all done at that time. He Yuan put down his bangs, smoked a cigarette, and said.

"If you're so tired outside, why did you go to Beijing in the first place?" asked the senior sister.

"Yes, why did you go to Beijing in the first place? He Yuan smiled.

"Because I was very poor at the beginning, I don't want to live that kind of life under the fence anymore. I don't want to eat while leaning on others and listening to other people's gossip. Really, I have a lot of self-esteem, probably because I didn't qualify for self-esteem when I was a child, so I think it was especially strong when I grew up. ”

"So I didn't want to stay in Chengdu, I didn't want to stay in my hometown, because with my conditions at that time, there was no future for staying there. I only have to go to Beijing, where there are many people and competition, but there are also many opportunities. I have no education and no background, so I can only fight on my own. In fact, this is also very good, eat by yourself, come and go by heart. If you're not happy or happy, then change to another one. ”

"It's better than being in my hometown, relying on others to enter the field, taking meager jobs, accepting the oppression of others, and not being able to do what I want. Once you're leaving, people will say, 'Oh, it took a lot of effort to get you in, you didn't care if you weren't grateful, and now you still want to figure it out, did you let all the effort we made in the first place be in vain?' ”

"In that case, then why do you give up everything you have worked hard for now and come back from Beijing? After listening quietly, the senior sister asked again.

"Why did you come back? Probably, because the starting point is gone. He Yuan's eyes were deep, and he stared blankly into the distance for a long time, then lowered his head and smiled self-deprecatingly.

"I used to think that as long as you work hard, save money hard, don't spend money randomly, don't mess around outside, stay up for five or six years, and come back to buy a car and a house. Later, I learned that you have worked hard for five or six years, and you have not earned as much as others have bought a house. ”

"That was the first time I had doubts about the word 'effort'. ”

"Even if a lot of people don't have to work hard or work, they can paddle and watch videos every day, and their income is much higher than when I first started in the industry. Even so, people still dislike the welfare is not good, and the prospects are not good. ”

"In the same position, others hook up their hands and make extra money, which can be hundreds of thousands, millions more in a year. And some people, diligent, hard-working to make income for the company, in exchange for all the intricacies of internal relations, all kinds of exclusion. ”

"I actually understand that this impetuous era is particularly unfriendly to honest people. ”

"Being honest with you means that you have to spend more time than others to achieve the same results as everyone else. We are all adults, and we all know that the current society is a society that laughs at the poor and does not laugh at prostitutes, and others will only care about how much money you have, but not how your money comes from. If you have money, you are reasoning, and if you don't have money, you are farting. ”

"So, can work make people buy a house? Can work make people financially free? If not, if I continue to work hard in Beijing and still can't afford to buy a house when I come back, then where is the point of me working there?"

He Yuan paused, and finally didn't say the next sentence.

At that time, he only had a few months left of his own, and since he had already seen it clearly, why should he waste the little time he had left in such a meaningless environment.

After listening to this, the senior sister was silent for a long time.

"If that's the case, then you should have seen it a long time ago, why you suddenly became in a bad mood at this time of day, this is not a reason. ”

I have to say that a woman's sixth sense is really spiritual.

Why do men always resent the suspicion of girls, because ...... Their suspicions are often too accurate.

"I just, out of the blue, I saw someone. He Yuandao.

"People, women?" asked the senior sister.

He Yuan nodded.

"Actually, I used to be a really passable person. Whether I have a house or don't have a house, I don't want it. My biggest dream before was to have a salary of 2,000 yuan a month, and it was best to buy a small house of my own, of course, if I couldn't afford it, I would forget it, and then live a life of going to work on time, getting off work on time, and when I was idle, I would cook by myself, raise flowers, read books and practice calligraphy, and cultivate my sentiments. ”

"Sounds poetic. Senior sister said.

"But...... I met a person, how to say, that person had a lot of ideas. At that time, she told me that her biggest dream was to save a sum of money for herself and go to Xiamen. You know, at that time, I didn't even know where Xiamen was, why did she go to Xiamen? Then she told me that there is a sea in Xiamen, which is very beautiful, and she wants to go to Xiamen to see the sea. My first reaction to this was that if I wanted to see the sea, why didn't I go to Shanghai?" recalled that it was his own youth and ignorance, and He Yuan also had a smile on his face.

"At that time, I was thinking, if she wants to go to Xiamen, then I will take her to Xiamen. Then I looked on the Internet for how much it cost to go to Xiamen, and found that it was quite expensive to go there. Let's take the train, definitely not, it's too late. At that time, we still had to go to school, and we didn't have a lot of holidays throughout the year, but the plane tickets were too expensive for me to afford. And when I went there, I had to spend money on lodging and food, and when I thought about it, I suddenly felt so poor. ”

She also said that she wanted a space of her own, and hoped to have a big house in the future, where she could grow some flowers and plants, and she especially liked the Japanese style, especially the tatami mats, and always found it interesting to sleep on them. Oh, by the way, she also likes to startle the deer, and she thinks it's funny when the thing hits the stone and makes a crunch sound when it falls. ”

"You know, when we were in middle school, where did we know what Japanese style is not Japanese, at that time in the county, there were not even many people who knew the decoration style, right? So I went to check it on the Internet, and only after seeing the pictures on the Internet did I know, wow, it turned out that other people's houses can be decorated so beautifully, and I was fascinated at that time, and I thought all day long, to have a house of my own, to decorate the house to my liking...... So at that time, I really wanted to make money, especially wanted to buy a house of my own. ”

She also said that she wants to open her own coffee shop in the future, because she feels that when she makes coffee, it is very dignified and elegant. Oh Mom, when we were in school, where would we drink coffee, at that time everyone drank the most milk, I told my dad that I wanted to drink coffee, he thought I was crazy, and said how expensive coffee is, it's not good for your health, don't drink that thing. Because of this, I also tried all kinds of coffee for a while, at first I heard others say that drinking black coffee is more forced, after trying it, I found that I can't get used to it, it's too bitter, for me, drinking that thing is similar to masochism. I bought a lot of coffee at that time, instant, grinding, miscellaneous, I was almost throwing up when I drank it, and now I am sick to my stomach when I see the coffee. He Yuan was completely caught in the memory, and the corners of his mouth turned up unconsciously.

"Do you still like her?"

Senior sister's words woke up He Yuan from his memories.

He opened his mouth, but suddenly realized that he didn't know how to answer.