Women are amazing creatures.

Even if He Yuan reads a lot of psychology books, it is difficult to understand their thinking.

For example, why they are suddenly happy, and why they are suddenly sad.

Just like now, He Yuan didn't know why Lu Huihui was crying when she was so dignified.

Yes.

Lu Huihui cried.

Tears soaked He Yuan's sleeves.

He Yuan didn't know why, and he didn't know what to do, so he could only be silent.

The two of them were very quiet along the way, and when they reached the gate of Lu Huihui's community, He Yuan stopped.

"It's here. He Yuan said softly.

Because I haven't spoken for too long, my voice is a little hoarse.

Lu Huihui raised her head, saw her own community, and was silent for a while.

"It's here. She looked up, rubbed her eyes, and her face returned to normal.

"Go back. ”

"Hmm. ”

After a while, Lu Huihui let go of He Yuan's arm and stroked her hair: "What about you." ”

"I'll be back to the hotel in a moment. ”

"Okay, be careful on the road. ”

He Yuan saw Lu Huihui's expression, thought for a while, and finally said, "When you go back, remember to send me a note> "Okay." ”

After a long silence, Lu Huihui said, "Then, I'll leave." ”

After finishing speaking, Lu Huihui turned around and walked in the direction of the community.

Her speed was very slow, I don't know why, looking at her back, He Yuan felt a little depressed.

It wasn't until Lu Huihui's figure completely disappeared that He Yuan took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it for himself.

After taking two puffs, He Yuan suddenly scolded: "!"

He was in a very irritable mood now, and it felt like he was in school and had an ambiguous relationship with the female classmate in the next class.

"I didn't expect me to have such an innocent day. He Yuan laughed at himself.

He Yuan always thought that he had changed.

Since that incident, he has worked hard to make himself hard-hearted, trying to make himself a "scumbag".

But now, He Yuan has a feeling that middle school students are in love.

If he knew that he would be like this now, then what was the point of what he had worked so hard to do all these years?

He Yuan felt a little confused.

Forget it, don't want to.

After smoking a cigarette, He Yuan threw the cigarette butt on the ground.

I took a taxi and drove towards the nearest hotel.

At night, He Yuan didn't sleep well.

Almost every half hour, he would be awakened.

He dreamed of many people, many things, many scenes, and they came to life.

If it weren't for the fact that he was lying on the bed now, He Yuan would have thought that he was going through these scenes.

After being woken up for the tenth time, He Yuan simply didn't sleep.

He got out of bed, fumbled for a cigarette at the bedside, and lit it for himself.

In fact, if you are serious, he has not experienced this situation for a long time.

The most recent time, when I was in Beijing, I couldn't sleep every day for progress and KPIs. Usually after waking up, he will turn on the computer, light a cigarette, and then keep scrolling data there, and when it is four or five o'clock, he will faintly feel a little sleepy, and after falling into bed, he will soon fall asleep.

In my impression, this memory is not very good, mainly because the houses in Beijing are generally better sealed. After all, it's a windy and sandy city, and the windows are so small and narrow that they're hard to open – and very few people actually do.

He Yuan once opened it, and just one day later, the bedroom was full of dust.

After living in this kind of small room for a long time, He Yuan felt that the whole person was very depressed, and because the room was too small, it was inconvenient to smoke, He Yuan was very addicted to smoking at that time, and he smoked nearly two packs of cigarettes a day, even if he opened the window, there was a smell of smoke in the room.

Now that he has been back to his hometown for half a year, He Yuan has changed a lot of habits.

For example, he no longer has to live in such a narrow house, whether it is an old house or a new house, it has a characteristic, that is, it is big, very big, He Yuan can go wherever he wants, and he can live in whichever room he wants.

And now He Yuan has also changed his living habits, he doesn't have to think about plans every day, he doesn't have to think about data every day, he can spend all his time on himself, running, fitness, chatting with Tian Rui, and then raising flowers, walking cats, and studying how to make new delicacies in his spare time.

He Yuan almost lived the life that he could only imagine in his dreams before.

But I don't know why, He Yuan often feels a little empty.

Just as he used to dream that he was back in the third year of high school, He Yuan often dreams about his previous days in Beijing.

But it shouldn't.

I am living so leisurely and rich now, why do I still think about those things, I should be very happy.

Thinking about it, He Yuan suddenly felt that his cheeks were a little wet.

I touched it with my hand, and I don't know when, I actually cried.

He Yuan got up from the bed, took a glass of mineral water from the table, unscrewed the lid, drank half of it with a grunt, then poured the mineral water into a disposable paper cup and threw the cigarette butt into the cup.

After doing this, He Yuan looked at the time, and it was only four o'clock in the morning. So he went to the bathroom and washed his face.

With a wet face, He Yuan raised his head and was about to go to get the towel on the shelf next to him. Caught off guard, He Yuan saw himself in the mirror.

Although he had watched it many times before, He Yuan looked at it very carefully this time.

Compared with the memory, I am in the mirror, and the flesh on my face is a little more than before, not fat, but I look a little stronger, a little less delicate with a slap face, and a little more tough and generous in middle age.

His face didn't look as fair as before, after all, He Yuan hadn't used those whitening facial cleansers, masks, and skin care lotions for several years.

At that time, he felt that he was too white, he looked like a sissy, especially unmanly, at that time, many friends joked, saying that He Yuan looked like "Xiaoshou", especially feminine. Although He Yuan didn't say anything, he was also a little unhappy in his heart, so he also consciously made himself sloppy.

Now, although he is still not dark, because of staying up late for a long time and eating irregularly, his complexion has turned a lot more sallow, and he doesn't look much different from others, and he is barely out of the category of sissy.

He Yuan took a few steps back, allowing his upper body to be seen in the mirror.

I used to be very thin, very thin, one meter seventy-two tall, only one hundred and four pounds, except for the face, there is hardly a trace of fat on the body, and the collarbones are protruding, which looks particularly obvious. Even He Yuan often exercised, played ball, did sit-ups, push-ups, and practiced six-pack abs. But if there is no meat on the body, it is just a pile of ribs, and there is no beauty of muscles at all.

And now, although the weight has dropped to about one hundred and thirteen, there is still a distance of almost thirty pounds from the peak. But after this period of exercise, the muscles on the body have regained their contours, and they are no longer the thin appearance they used to be, but have a muscle-like beauty.

Because I just washed my face, the bangs on my forehead were wet and pasted on my face, and with the muscle outline that had just been rudimentary, I began to look a little "manly" in He Yuan's mind.

Myself.

In fact.

It's always changing.

Become what you think you want to be.

He Yuan stretched out his finger and stroked himself in the mirror.

I should have felt happy, but I don't know why, a huge sadness suddenly rose from the bottom of my heart. He Yuan's nose was sore, his eyes suddenly turned red, and tears flowed out uncontrollably.

"Why am I sad, I know, I should, feel happy. He Yuan tried hard to pull out a smile, he smiled, but he was so ugly in the mirror.

Syllable!

He Yuan slammed his fist on the wall, making a muffled "bang".

The bones "clicked", and the whole fist was instantly numb, and no pain was felt.

He Yuan leaned against the wall and slowly sat down on the ground.

"Why am I crying, I should be happy, I have a house, a car, a girlfriend, and I am about to have my own business, I should be very happy. He muttered to himself and began to clasp himself in his hands. It's like remembering when I was a child, I was wronged, and when I felt sad, I hid in a corner alone and hugged myself to keep warm.

"I should be happy. ”

"Obviously there shouldn't be tears. ”

"How long has it been since I've cried, elementary school, junior high school?"

"But why, why I'm not happy at all, why. ”

There he muttered to himself, as if he had just asked someone a question.

It's a pity that in the quiet bathroom, there is only his voice.

Oh, yes.

You should be happy.

Why is he so sad?

He Yuan returned to the room in disappointment and collapsed on the bed.

Looking at the ceiling above his head, He Yuan was stunned.

After a while, He Yuan came back to his senses, picked up the charging phone, unplugged the charging cable, and began to brush up the message.

In the dead of night, there are always times when you suddenly want to talk to someone.

But there are so many WeChat friends, as many as thousands, but there is no one who can chat.

Former colleagues can't talk, partners can't talk, classmates can't talk, friends can't talk, family members can't talk, and close people can't talk.

counted and counted, but there was no one to talk to.

In the past, no matter how poor and unlucky I was, there were at least a few comics, I could chat in the group, talk about things, and have fun together, even if it was that kind of fun, but everyone was stupid together.

But at least there are people to talk to.

Now there is no one to talk to.

He is far worse than before.

Is this a step backwards?

He Yuan didn't know.

He put his phone to his chest and started to dazed again.

Although it seems a little pretentious, He Yuan is indeed confused now.

Just like those depressed people, the whole world thinks they are happy, only they know that when they stand on a tall building, they don't know how many times, they want to jump from the building and end their lives.

He Yuan used to be in such a state, and now he has come out.

But now, he was mired in a deep sense of self-doubt.

He didn't know why he was upset, and no one came to tell him how not to be upset.

He walked into his own circle and didn't let anyone come close.

This is an escape, but also a kind of self-preservation.

For a long time, He Yuan remembered something, took out his mobile phone, and opened the >

Seeing that familiar and unfamiliar nickname, He Yuan hesitated for a long time.

Finally, he pressed his finger anyway.

"Yes. He Yuan sent a message over.

As soon as the message passed, He Yuan put his mobile phone on his chest, as if doing so would slow down his heartbeat a little.

This feeling is like going to school, secretly texting with the girl you love, then turning off the screen of your phone, putting it aside, and then waiting there anxiously, and guessing the psychology of the other party.

Whether she saw it or not, how did she see it, whether she could reply, how could she reply, was she interested in me, or would she be disgusted with me because of this text message.

Of course, the current He Yuan naturally doesn't have this kind of careful thinking, he doesn't believe in this, and it is difficult to feel in love. Just like what he said to Lu Huihui, his current attitude towards women is only divided into two types, which can be used and cannot be used.

In addition, any red face and red ears and rapid heartbeat are the result of hormone secretion, and have nothing to do with feelings.

He's just plain ashamed now.

After all, when he thought of the questions he was going to ask, He Yuan was a little panicked in his heart.

Of course, He Yuan didn't really expect the other party to reply to the message.

After all, at this point, normal people should be sleeping.

He Yuan just desperately wanted to do something to distract the irritability in his heart, otherwise he was worried that he might really fall into depression.

It's just that He Yuan didn't let him wait long, almost when he just put the phone on his chest, the phone suddenly vibrate, and when he picked up the phone, a message popped up.

"What's wrong. ”

Seeing this news, He Yuan was stunned for a moment.

The speed of the other party's reply was a bit unexpected to him.

After being stunned for a while, it took about a few seconds for He Yuan to react, and it seemed that he should reply to the other party's message.

But, what do you want back?

He Yuan racked his brains, and even sat up from the bed and leaned the pillow on his back.

After hesitating for a long time, He Yuan replied: "You, haven't slept yet?"

When these words were issued, He Yuan's face began to burn again.

MD, at such an age, still makes himself like an innocent virgin.

It's not an online appointment, it's just a normal communication between ordinary friends, how can it be like having an underground affair.

It's really inferior.

But, having said that, it is still necessary to be ashamed.

After all, He Yuan is just a veteran driver, and if you really talk about actual combat experience, it is almost zero.

The other side was silent for a while, about a minute or so, and then replied with a message.

"I was asleep, but I heard a text message and woke up again. ”