Lu Zimeng went out: "Who?"

The voice of the old man at the gate said, 'I'm hungry, I've come to your house to ask for food!' and went into the courtyard.

Lu Zimeng was speechless for a moment, "Are you looking for scolding from Malegobi?"

Zhang Xiao hiding indoors: It's a funny old man! Zimeng's scolding voice is quite good.

The old man who was picking up dung sat on a chair in the yard: "How can you talk to the old man?

Lu Zimeng: "Respect the elderly, that's respecting the kind old man! Do you understand? Sister Shen Tian has said that you are disrespectful to the old all day long, and now you want to rub my oil again?"

The old man who picked up dung: "Rub your oil? Your chest is like a washboard, what is there to rub? I'm really hungry! Please, make me some delicious dishes!"

Lu Zimeng: "No! If it was a serious old man, Lu Zimeng might give him something to eat, but this one was too improper, and she didn't bother to give him a bowl of porridge.

In Lu Zimeng's view, such an old guy deserves to starve to death! Living is also a danger to the world!

The old man who picked up dung: "If you don't leave, if you don't cook me food today, I won't leave." "Shake off the white beard, rely on the old and sell the old, that is the right of some old people.

Lu Zimeng looked at it, and! This is simply a leper dog! What should I do? "Don't go? I'll hit you with a stick, believe it or not?" Perhaps frightened him, he left.

The old man who picked up dung: "Then you smash it! Smash me, from a legal point of view, you should pay for this medical bill!" A dead pig is not afraid of boiling water.

When Lu Zimeng heard this, she was even more speechless. You are paralyzed and still know the law, you are so cultured! "You really don't want to leave? I really dare to smash you! You are at fault in this matter, and you will also fail in the judgment and judgment of the court! And you will bear the litigation costs!"

The old man who picked up dung: "Don't lie to me, bear child! I have pulled more than you eat, drained more urine than you drink, and crossed more bridges than you walked." You stinky girl, you still want to lie to me?"

Zhang Xiao indoors: This row is better, if the college entrance examination essay is written like this, it will definitely be a full score.

Lu Zimeng was speechless, this damn old man who was paralyzed was quite good at talking. "What are you talking about! It's like you're very cultured, get out!"

Old man picking up dung: "That's it! I'm really educated." If you don't understand anything, you can ask me. From eating and drinking Lazar to cohabitation and social events! Ask, if you want to ask about sleeping with a man, I can also be your consultant. "A university scholar's posture.

The old man continued: "I tell you, if you talk about a boyfriend, the most important thing he wants to do is take off your pants and cool inside. ”

Lu Zimeng's face was red, paralyzed, hooligan!

The old man continued: "At this time, where do you go from here? Do you want to promise him? I suggest you don't agree so quickly! Because this man is very cheap, if you agree, he will have a good time, but in his heart he may doubt you, suspect that your pants are too easy to take off, and you can take them off casually." He will think that you are a casual person, and you must not be a good woman, so he will not cherish you. You know what I'm talking about, girl!"

Zhang Xiao indoors: Get out of your sister's old man! If you say that, she won't sleep with me for a while!

Lu Zimeng was thinking, and when Zhang Di asked again for a while, it seemed that he couldn't agree. Although this old man is not a good bird, his psychology still represents many men.

Old man: "Hey, I'm talking to you, girl, why don't you answer me?"

Lu Zimeng: "Oh. I'm listening. There's some truth to what you're saying. Then he smiled reluctantly.

Old man: "Let's talk about the An-full set again, if the two of you have been talking for a long time, to the point of talking about marriage, you want to try to live together, then at this time you must have Dian-full set." ”

Lu Zimeng: Paralyzed, I haven't slept with a man, and I know about it, and I still use your science popularization?

The old man who picked up dung continued: "When it comes to sets, you must choose high-quality ones! How can you tell if a set is of high quality or inferior quality? Blow it with your mouth, like blowing a balloon! If you blow it very big, it is ten times bigger than your chest!" Look at her breasts and correct them immediately, "Oh no, it is 10,000 times bigger than your chest, and you have nothing on your chest! That means that the set is of high quality and does not leak." ”

Lu Zimeng's face turned red, the stinky old man of Malegobi! My chest is not bulging enough, but I was still chosen as the school flower by all the boys in the school, do you say that people are angry?

Zhang Xiao indoors: Indeed, Lu Xiaoniu's chest is indeed unexpected!

The old man continued: "If a sleeve is blown for a short time and then it breaks, it means that it is of inferior quality, not tough enough, and easy to leak. Don't use that set, you'll regret it for the rest of your life!"

"Uh-huh, got it. Lu Zimeng gave a roll of his eyes, so he wouldn't say thank you. Whoever is grateful for this immodest old man is an idiot.

Old man: "I've told you so much, my saliva is dry, why don't you hurry up and bring me something to eat?"

Lu Zimeng: "I know everything you said!What's the matter? You still want to charge me tuition?" Give me a look, stinky old man, I'm here to listen to you patiently, it's already to save face!

Old man: "What do you understand? You're too rude, girl! I explained, you should express your gratitude!" Clear your throat: "Dear, your name is Zimeng, I am your old man who picks up dung, dear, your name is Zimeng, eighteen or seventeen years old this year, dear, you are very naughty, who is happy to see at the beginning of love." Honey, give me something to eat, an old man is indeed hungry......"

At this time, Lu Zimeng received a WeChat message, which was sent by Zhang Xiao. Listen: "Give him something to eat, or the old man will cry." ”

Lu Zimeng smiled. Paralyzed, my conversation with the old man, that guy eavesdropped all in the room!

Lu Zimeng went to the refrigerator and brought a plate of leftovers, and then put it on the table in the yard: "Hey, old man, let's eat! ”

The old man was immediately very happy, picked up the plate and smelled it, "Wow! It is so fragrant! I like to eat this shredded lotus root and pork the most! Is there anything else? I am very hungry!"

"You guy, there's a lot to do!" and went to serve another plate of leftovers: "Here! These should be enough for you, right?"

Old man: "Mmmm, enough is enough!" After a while, he ate the two plates of leftovers, "Wow! It's so comfortable! Thank you, Zimeng, in order to show my gratitude, I decided to dedicate you a song......

Lu Zimeng had to listen patiently. There's no way this guy is old and old, if I beat him away, he will pretend to be dead and fall to the ground, then it will be troublesome! It's better to let him finish singing and go alone.

Old man: "I'll sing a special love song to special you, applause!"

Lu Zimeng symbolically drummed a few times, paralyzed, and was tormented by the old guy's noise.

The old man cleared his throat: "You are gone, is it more beautiful to say goodbye, space-time universe, where to find you...... Whether it's love or not, I really don't know, but when I think of you, I'll be really happy, I don't know if it's love, everything about you is so memorable......"

Lu Zimeng frowned, what kind of song is this? I haven't heard it yet!

Zhang Xiao indoors: You can sing!

The old man continued: "All this is providence...... I don't know if I love you, but I really feel happy when I think of you, I don't know if I love you, everything about you is so memorable...... The sky is hazy, the mirage, I like you so much, I still look for it until the end, all this is providential......"

Finally finished singing. Lu Zimeng applauded. You can go now, old fellow!

Old man: "How is it? Can my singing voice charm a middle-aged and elderly woman?"

Lu Zimeng: 'Fascinated and fascinated, even me, a beautiful girl, you are fascinated. ’

The old man gave a look, as if to say: Don't be infatuated with me, Uncle Ben already has a heart.

Lu Zimeng gave a look back, look at you! Get out of here, the idol of middle-aged and elderly women.

Zhang Xiao, who was drinking drinks indoors: This old and young, two funny......

The old man who picked up dung moved his arm: "I'm full, I've drunk enough, then I'll go!"

"Uh-huh, let's go. "Oh, I'll go! You pestilence old man, but you're leaving!

The old man suddenly turned around: "Hey, there seems to be someone in your living room?"

Lu Zimeng was nervous: "No, no." She didn't want the old man to know, otherwise he wouldn't be talking nonsense everywhere......

The old man's ears are really good, I just put the cup a little louder.

Old man: "No, no way! I hear the sound of chopsticks!"

Lu Zimeng: 'You probably heard it wrong!'

Old man: "Impossible! I'll go and see if you're hiding a man at home?" and walked towards the main room.

"Oh, who is hiding a man? I'm not that kind of person! Why do you have so many things to do with an old man......" Lu Zimeng wanted to stop.

But he didn't stop it, the old man who was picking up dung went into the living room, and looked around, there was no one! Strange, I heard movement in the living room just now.

Lu Zimeng: "How is it? I said, no one! It's because you're deaf, you heard it wrong!" Lu Zimeng just wants to get rid of him quickly.

is a girl, and she doesn't like old men to disturb her good things, and Lu Zimeng is no exception.

Old man: "My kidneys are not weak, and my ears are not deaf! There must be someone in your family, either your good looks, or a thief has come in!"

What, what, what a thief?!, you stinky old man of the Gobi, I want to kill you with a stick.

Old man: "I'll go to your room to help you find it! If it's a thief, you must catch it! Otherwise, it's too dangerous for you to be alone at home." What if he steals money and then wants to beat your mind? You are so cold and clean, my old man has never touched it, and no one else can touch it!"

Lu Zimeng was speechless: "Hey, why did you go to my boudoir? If you don't come out again, I'll call the police!"

Zhang Xiao, who was hiding under the bed in the boudoir: You old man who is paralyzed, don't find me!