In Search of a Lover's Daughter (Family Ethics, Novella) Zhang Baotong 2017.2.21

On the one hand, the year 2000 is called the millennium, which means that it can only be encountered once in a thousand years, but it is also called the end of the world by some religious organizations. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 infoSo, some people are looking forward to this day, while some people are terrified of it. Actually, I thought that the year 2000 was just a number in the Common Era, and it wouldn't surprise people or cause any fear. Because the earth has an age, and the sun and moon have growth rings, if nothing else, they will all move as usual day after day, year after year. Even though there are earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, floods and droughts on the earth, the earth is still rotating as usual, and it seems that as long as the earth is rotating as usual, there will be no major changes in our lives.

We always have ardent anticipation of some things and extreme fear of others, but the things themselves are neither as good as we think they will be, nor as bad as we think they are. Life is actually very uneventful, and our minds like to be startled, either imagining things to be incredibly beautiful or to be extremely bad.

I was originally a middle-aged man with a calm mood and accurate judgment, who had experienced going to the countryside and working, and later being admitted to university and becoming a cadre, so it can be said that I have rich experience. The advantage of having rich experience is that you have a more accurate judgment of many things and can deal with them reasonably. I can say that he is a smart person, and he has rarely made major mistakes in his life, so he has gradually formed a self-righteous mentality, feeling that there is nothing difficult in the world, but he is afraid of people with hearts. As long as you work hard, there is nothing you can't do. However, this year, I encountered an incident that made me really powerless and unable to recover.

I am nearly 40 years old and have entered middle age. But I have a successful career, a glorious glory, and I am already the youngest deputy director of the District Education Bureau, and my future is bright. But my marriage was not good, and at that time, I had been divorced for half a year. His wife is a technician in a state-owned enterprise. The unit benefit is not bad. The reason for our divorce is simple, that is, emotional discord. Of course, this is just a phrase often used in divorce. This is a very appropriate and practical way to downplay the reasons for divorce without embarrassing and unacceptable to both parties. Because we are all decent people, we are very concerned about reputation and public image, and we don't want children and outsiders to feel that there is anything abnormal about us.

In fact, the reason for our divorce is not emotional discord. Fifteen or six years of marriage, not only has the seven-year itch already passed, but even the fourteen-year itch has passed, and it should be said that it has long been run-in to the point that there are no edges and corners, and there is no feeling, and there is any emotional discord? As long as there are no major problems, they will make do with it. However, what I can't tolerate is my wife's frigidity. Sex life is a pain for her, every time she has abdominal pain after the fact, a pain will hurt for two or three days, sometimes diarrhea, injections and medicine have to toss for three or five days, so the wife has a nervous fear of sex. But on the contrary, I always have a wonderfully romantic and hungry desire for sex. I know it's because of the mental distortion caused by the perennial ***. If I was to drink to my heart's content, I would have to make a fuss at least two or three times a night. However, my wife did not agree, and she began to ask me to come once a month, and then it was limited to once every two months, and after that, there was no follow-up. I often don't do it once every three months or six months. So, I was very distressed, and I was constantly angry, either my nose was blistered or my eyes were inflamed, my temper became very irritable, very hot, and I often became angry and angry because of a word or a trivial matter. The two either quarreled endlessly, or fought a cold war, sometimes not saying a word for many days. Later, we began to sleep in separate beds, and no one touched anyone and no one paid attention to the other. Later, I had a lover outside, and after a long time, my wife found out, and we divorced. It just so happens that our family has two houses, both of which were divided by their respective units in the past. So, we really divorced, she lived with her son who had just entered junior high school, and I left the house, lived alone, and gave the child 300 yuan a month in child support.

However, it didn't take long for my lover to return to Shangluo's hometown. Because something happened to her hometown, her uncle, who raised her since childhood, suffered from varicose veins and couldn't walk, so he asked her to go home and take care of her. She didn't have a phone and we lost contact after leaving. Originally, there was a lover, and we got together at least twice a month, so we could take a shower in the bathroom, have fun, and feel that the days were safe and fulfilling, which was worth looking forward to. However, when she was gone, I was always in a state of anxiety and depression, and I even went to the urban village twice to find a young lady, once at the entrance of the village to meet a woman in her thirties standing on the street, and once in the beauty salon directly to find the young lady. However, after I finished my work, the anxiety and irritability that had been suppressed in my heart did not subside, but the anxiety and anxiety in my heart intensified. Because that feeling is not good at all, there is no romance and warmth at all, it is completely a kind of physical venting, just like a thief and a thief.

I often have insomnia and sigh in the dead of night, feeling that I was looking for a partner who only focused on appearance and neglected health, when in fact a woman's health is much more important. And men want women just to enjoy the pleasure of sex, and then to have children. If not, why would a man marry a woman? But my wife deceived me by hiding her illness and from Haiti, which made me think of my first lovers. The lover's name is Yingmei, who was only sixteen years old at the time, and was a broadcaster at the brigade headquarters. The Chaling Brigade is a place where beautiful girls come out, and she is the most beautiful and intelligent girl in the entire brigade. I was only 17 years old at the time, and I worked in the tea farm of Baitang Commune for two years, and then settled in the 7th team of Chaling, which was only 100 meters away from the brigade headquarters where she worked.

On a sunny spring day after the rain, I was planting rice in a field by the roadside, and I saw a girl walking on the path of the field, wearing a red shirt and white cloth shoes, and two long black braids. I have seen so many rural girls, and I think they are either too rustic or too clumsy, and I have never seen such a refreshing and beautiful girl. So I stood upright in the field and looked straight at the girl to see her face. The girl seemed to notice that I was looking at her, so she lowered her head, looking a little shy. He didn't lift his head until he walked up to me, smiled at me, and hurried by.

She was so beautiful, so beautiful that I couldn't forget it. All day, my mind was occupied by her smile. I had insomnia for the first time in the night. Whether awake or in a dream, all in front of me are her figure and smile, the way she walks, her tall figure, her delicate appearance, and her kind smile. I know my soul has been snatched away from her.

During the day, I worked hard, and before four o'clock in the afternoon, I finished planting the fields under my contract, and after an early dinner, I sat on the high slope in front of the brigade department and played the harmonica. I don't know what kind of song I played at that time, but I remember that the song was deep and long, as if there was a kind of love thread floating in the sky.

The girl finally came to me and asked me what kind of tune I was playing, it was so good. I say it's homesickness. In fact, homesickness is homesickness, but homesickness is more euphemistic. The girl sat on the grass and listened for a while, then asked me to come to her house for tea. That's how we met. After that, I would go to her radio room every night for tea and chat. However, this period was not long, and I was transferred by the brigade headquarters to work as a migrant worker for a survey team. We are already in love, and we don't see each other for a day. Although I spent all day on the mountain putting a ruler on the surveying team, I was thinking about her all the time. Because the survey team was more than ten miles away from the brigade headquarters, I could only visit her once every three or five days, and I always had to sit for a while and drink a cup of tea before leaving. Because after the middle of the night, the mountains are empty, and it is very frightening to walk alone on the path.