Proofreading the coordinates of love (3) Zhang Baotong

Affection is the bond of marriage, and it connects the happiness of everyone in the family. The secret to a happy marriage is: find a good person and be a good person.

3. What is the fulcrum of love

"The deep foundation of love is composed of biological factors (****, the instinct to continue the species) and social factors (social relations, aesthetic and ethical feelings of the two people, the pursuit of intimacy, etc.). However, love can sometimes be tempted by money and benefits, and can even be forced by force. As a result, the fulcrum of these different love and marriage also set an ambush for different marriage endings.

Gao Feng is a highly talented student of a university, from a mountainous countryside, and has a lover who he has loved for many years, but in the choice between graduation assignment and love, he chose the former. As a result, he became the "fast son-in-law" of the director of higher education, and was assigned to a department of the higher education bureau as a clerk. He was diligent, intelligent, and steady, and was soon promoted to head of the department and deputy director. He told his wife about it, but she didn't think so, but said, "It's not my father's help." He was disappointed, but he was speechless. Since he got married, he has been living in his father-in-law's house, and there is always a feeling of being under the fence, and finally divided a two-bedroom house, but his wife asked him to quit, saying that she would not go anywhere. He said that the house was not easy to come by, and he insisted on refusing, so his father-in-law came forward to persuade them, saying that they were already old, and they wanted to take care of such a daughter. Helpless, he had no choice but to give in. Because he was in a high-ranking household, the villagers and friends did not dare to visit without permission, and because his wife did not like his mother's peasant habits, his mother did not dare to come to her door to see her son and grandson until she died after they were married. Whenever he watched the young lovers spend the moon and make love, he couldn't help but think of his innocent lover who had been teaching in his hometown county. He still can't forget the sad look she gave when she accompanied his mother to their wedding. That gaze may have kept him at peace in this life. Every time he thought of this, he felt an indescribable sadness in his heart. He often thought that if he could exchange the position of deputy commissioner for his lost dream, he would never hesitate.

Moreover, of all the immoral marriages, forced and deceitful marriages are the most despicable and shameless. This kind of marriage is the most unstable of marriages in which the other party (mostly the woman) is snatched and enslaved like cattle, horses, and livestock.

Love is a free expression of human nature, a practical embodiment of the beautiful and noble, rational and supreme concept in the hidden realm of life. Therefore, we say that human marriage should be based on love. Even if our lives are lighter, our suffering will be more, and as long as we have love, we will also have compensation. There is a saying in England that "love turns a beggar into a prince". There may be many regrets in life, and no love is the biggest regret.

4. Taste the home-brewed bitter sake

For divorce, the Encyclopedia of China explains, "the legal means of dissolving the marriage relationship during the existence of the spouse." It is an important factor in the formation of a celibate population and is directly related to the issues of women's fertility, family structure and child support. According to relevant information, the divorce rate in the country is increasing by 200,000 per year. Even in our daily lives, we can often see familiar or unfamiliar families break up, couples are separated, and children lose their father or mother. This tragedy is truly heartbreaking and worrying. Of course, this is by no means a preconception about divorce. In a sense, the rise in the divorce rate today is a reflection of social progress. However, it is regrettable and regrettable that divorce is like a construction project that has laid the foundation but has been abandoned, it is a loss for both parties, not only a waste of time, but also a waste of energy - piles of bricks, erected piles of floors, making the good end of the ground full of devastation, making the people who walk through it miserable and remorseful. Liu, a worker at a railway station, likes to socialize, and after dinner every day, as soon as he lost his chopsticks, he went to his buddies to play cards and chat, and returned late at night. The wife often complains about this and feels lonely and depressed. In order to entertain and relax, I chatted with a young man, watched movies together, went to the dance hall, and then had sex. After Liu heard about it, he filed for divorce. After the divorce, the court awarded his 6-year-old daughter to him. However, the ex-wife often came to the house in the name of watching the children and pleaded with tears and pleaded for mercy. Although he was soft-hearted, he refused to forgive, and he drove her away again and again. Half a year later, he was introduced to a woman with a 4-year-old boy. The woman's unit has closed down, and the woman is only at home watching the children and doing housework. The whole family lives on Liu's salary. However, within two months, his daughter cried to him several times, saying that her stepmother only gave her little brother food every time she bought something, and did not let her eat, and let her do a lot of work. In a fit of rage, he beat his wife who had passed by the door for a short time. After that, the woman naturally did not dare to do it again. But the daughter refused to stay at home, and had to go to her grandmother's house to live, and the elderly grandmother listened to the grievances suffered by her granddaughter, and cried silently, which made him, a divorced son-in-law, very embarrassed. He can occasionally meet with his ex-wife, and he knows that his ex-wife is still waiting for him, but this qiē in front of him is irreparable.

Life is short, bosom friends are hard to find, meet and fall in love in the vast sea of people, and become a family, this is fate. There is a philosophical saying: "I may not be the best, but I am the best for you." "Getting married makes it easy for both parties to come to terms and avoid estrangement and suspicion. From the psychological aspect of love, people have a strange and peculiar mentality: they tend to dismiss what they have acquired and are very secure, and they regard those things that have been lost as treasures and are attached to them.

A person's life is a whole, and divorce will ruthlessly separate the common life of both parties from the years to come. Even if the two parties still maintain a "close friendship" or can visit the child at any time, it is undoubtedly a rupture in the course of their lives. When looking back, the couple's life together is no longer an organic part of their past lives, but just an isolated memory like a photograph. Even if they build a new home, they will inevitably compare it to their first marriage and first love, and they will often regret it. Yes, happiness is purely a subjective feeling of the individual, but it is also expressed as a process, which must not be measured bit by bit, moment by moment, but should look at its history and future, grasp the reality, and pursue the whole life rather than the present satisfaction and happiness.

5. Abandon previous suspicions and save marriage

The reason for divorce is because of the death of marriage, and the judge who sentenced the death sentence for marriage is ourselves. The reason why we want to pronounce the death penalty for marriage. It is because we have lost faith and patience with the status quo of our marriage.

Usually, when a person is seriously ill, relatives, friends and colleagues are always concerned and careful, so that the patient can recover as soon as possible. If we can do our best to save marriages that are "seriously ill", then the vast majority of marriages in crisis can be turned around.

Former US President Bill Clinton's biggest problem in his campaign was that Star Weekly made public his 12-year relationship with a singer named Fwerlaus. This not only caused Clinton's approval rating to drop sharply, but also made Hillary Clinton quite humiliated. However, Hillary Clinton helped her husband with tears and went in and out of various occasions intimately with her husband. Their sincere love and actions of helping each other finally moved the majority of voters to enter the White House.

A young lecturer at a university in Xi'an got along with a young and beautiful female boss, and the two often met and went in and out of bars and dance halls. The lecturer's wife knew about this, and she dragged her husband to the house of the individual female boss to make a big fuss, but when she and her husband came to the bright lights and luxurious little western-style building, she had an idea and thought to herself that she must not push her husband to others. So, she breathed a sigh of relief, adjusted her feelings, took her husband's arm affectionately, and said, "Forget it, let's go to the dance hall." ”

A marital crisis that was on the verge of breaking out was thus silently eliminated.

If a husband (or wife) stubbornly regards the other party's misdeeds as a cancer in the marriage for the sake of face, loses the confidence to save it, and sentences it to death, then they lose more than just their present happiness. For most people, a divorce will devastate them for the rest of their lives.

The road of life is difficult and bumpy, and whoever is stuck in the quagmire needs to be supported and saved. Don't sigh, don't be disappointed, soothe the stinging heart, heal the wounds, be more forgiving, have more love, hold your hand tightly in her (his) hand, and support the trek through life together.

To avoid the tragedy of your marriage, remember: the secret to a happy marriage is: find a good person, and be a good person.