Proofreading the coordinates of love (2) Zhang Baotong

Affection is the bond of marriage, and it connects the happiness of everyone in the family. The secret to a happy marriage is: find a good person and be a good person.

2. The double crisis inside and outside the marriage

The dissolution of a marriage is mainly caused by the breakdown of feelings within the family, but the role of the outside cannot be ignored. Especially for those marriages that are in flux, the role of the outside is often crucial, even decisive.

It was a marriage that was not satisfactory to both parents and family. This marital crisis has been lurking throughout. Xiao Wu, a young driver, drove a long-distance bus in a transportation company and earned a lot of money, because he secretly ate forbidden fruits with his daughter-in-law Lingling before marriage, causing Lingling to become pregnant before marriage. Therefore, under the persecution of Lingling and her family, Xiao Wu married Lingling.

Lingling has no formal job and works odd jobs in a small factory in the northern suburbs, so the salary is not much. After marriage, the couple was quite close. Xiao Wu often goes out of the car, and he goes for several days, and when he comes back, he gives a lot of money to his daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law is young and loves beauty, often buys some high-end cosmetics and fashionable clothes, and loves to eat snacks. Melon seeds and peanuts are constantly spent all day long, and naturally a lot of money is spent. Xiao Wu's mother lives downstairs, and she doesn't look up all day long, so she is very unaccustomed to Lingling's habits and styles, and often picks her nose and faces to find some Lingling's faults and nags Xiao Wu. Over time, Xiao Wu began to be dissatisfied with his daughter-in-law.

Later, Lingling became the sales team leader and went home later than usual, so the mother told her son that she painted her eyebrows all day long, wore red and green, dressed like a vixen, and didn't know who to hook up with. It was always dark and I didn't get home until midnight. The younger sister also struck while the iron was hot and complained to her brother that her sister-in-law came back late every day, and the child didn't care. My sister was even more straightforward, saying, "If you want to be virtuous, you want to be undecent, you don't even have a formal job, it's good to be lazy to do it, it's better to kick it, I'll find you a good one." ”

And Xiao Wu didn't know where to get the news, saying that his daughter-in-law had an affair with a leader outside, so he was even more angry, threw the child to his mother's house, and dragged his daughter-in-law to the court for divorce. Due to the daughter-in-law's refusal and improper reasons, the court did not sentence. But at the instigation of his family, he drove his daughter-in-law back to her parents' house to prepare for a second meeting in court.

In fact, in many cases, the help and adjustment of parents and family members often make a marriage in crisis out of the predicament and turn it into a safe one, while the instigation and destruction of parents and family members will accelerate the collapse of a marriage in crisis. However, there is another factor that is more influential in modern society than parents and family members, and that is the role of leaders and colleagues in this regard. Because the words of leaders and colleagues are more tendentious, encouraging and authoritative, and even closely related to your work and future.

For example, there is a young female clerk in a bureau-level agency, who is outstanding, neat in work, and loves the importance of leaders, so she is a little carried away, and always feels that she is better than her husband who works in the factory. Usually, she not only pushes all the work at home to her husband, but also always speaks to her husband in a leadership tone. Although the husband was unhappy, he was helpless and could only endure it. Once, she fell while riding a bicycle and broke a bone in her foot and was admitted to the hospital. Her husband did not visit her, wanting to take this opportunity to teach her a lesson, but unexpectedly, a week later, she was discharged from the hospital and handed him a divorce agreement. At this time, her husband panicked, hurriedly explained, bowed his head and admitted his mistake, but she didn't listen at all and insisted on leaving.

The news quickly spread in the agency compound. Leaders and colleagues came to see her, comforted her, and were extremely angry at her husband's indifference. Some of them also actively supported and encouraged her to divorce her husband. There is also a major leader who is even willing to be a matchmaker, enthusiastic to match her with a recently divorced section chief. Under the warm care and encouragement of some leaders and colleagues, her idea of divorce became more firm. Despite his heartache and kneeling to his knees, she resolutely left her husband with her four-year-old daughter, and soon became home with the young section chief.

In addition, the residual mentality of human beings in marriage and dislike the old and thinking about the old often gives a third party a chance to take advantage of it when we are not paying attention. According to relevant information, 3.65 million people divorced in 2015, of which more than 50% were divorced due to marital infidelity caused by the involvement of a third party. The reason why the third party can intervene in success, in addition to its own advantages, is more important that he or she appears as a new lover or lover, using a much greater emotional role than the role of parents instigating and leading "care". Therefore, in the case of a marriage, the involvement of a third party can be said to be the most threatening and destructive external factor.

The wife of the director of a factory office is a well-known "strict wife", she is afraid that her husband will "make a big move", so she strictly manages her husband, does not let her husband talk to young and beautiful women, and does not let her husband put money in his pocket, because she knows that "women cannot have time, and men cannot have spare money." But the husband is the director of the factory office, and the men and women in the factory deal with all aspects of things, so he is very dissatisfied with his wife's unreasonable interference, and in order to save face, he has endured it. Once a dance party was held in the factory, the director danced with a young and beautiful preschool teacher in the factory, and quickly became familiar with each other. A few days later, the director of the factory office and his wife had a quarrel, and they didn't go home, so they called the teacher to the office to chat and relax. The teacher entered the office, and when he looked displeased, he knew that he must have been angry at home. She persuaded him for a while, then went out to buy him some food, brought it to him, and persuaded him to eat. After that, the two often went out on dates or dances, and even had sex. When the news reached his wife, he had a big fight with him, and then went to the kindergarten and scolded the teacher, which made them very embarrassed. However, this did not cut off their personal relationship, and they continued to date each other in secret. The wife couldn't do it, so she monitored and tracked them. One day, while the two were making love in the house, his wife suddenly broke in and grabbed the teacher in the face, only to be pushed down by her husband. The wife wept bitterly and scolded loudly, but the husband did not even look at her, took the hand of the governess, and walked out of the house.

Sometimes, we always feel that the marriage is strong, and the other half of the marriage belongs to us completely, so we can not care about him or her. However, what should we say about such marital tragedies?