The next day, Xue Xing woke up and found that Wang Su'er and her daughter had left.

He found a note on the coffee table.

When I picked it up, there was a line of writing on it:

"There are some things that I don't have the courage to tell you, and now I've recorded them, listen to them!"

Xue Xing saw a USB flash drive next to the note.

After thinking for a while, he took out his laptop, booted it up, and plugged in the USB flash drive.

Connecting the USB flash drive to the computer, Xue Xing clicked on the audio file.

A few seconds later, Wang Su'er's voice sounded:

"I'm sorry, husband! Although we are divorced, in my heart, you are still my husband, and this is a position that no one can replace.

I'm not explaining for myself, it's what I mean from the heart. You're not going to believe it and think I'm lying, but it's true.

Of course, I can't prove it.

I'm covered in filth, and no matter how much I wash it, I can't wash it off.

Chen Zhen and I are just a game, a game. I understand that he only uses me as a tool, and why don't I use him as a tool?

He is an indescribably obscene person, and if he were walking down the street, I might not even have the desire to look at him. I never imagined that such a body that made me feel dirty would lie on top of me!

You definitely don't understand, in fact, I don't understand myself, I don't understand myself!

I think the root of it all probably started with an incident that happened three years ago. I didn't tell you about it, but it was like a seed that took root, sprouted, and grew slowly in my heart, until finally its power could no longer be controlled by my reason.

Remember, three years ago, when our store first opened, it was busy and fulfilling. As long as you have time, you will accompany me to the field to pick up the goods.

Once, you didn't have time to accompany me, so I went to pick up the goods alone.

That day, I was busy until late, only to remember that I hadn't booked a hotel yet. I looked for several hotels, but there were no rooms.

Eventually, I found a very shabby little guesthouse.

You know, I'm a person who likes to be clean, but I can't help it!

That night, I also called you and complained that the hotel was too dirty. You feel sorry for me so much that you let me go to a high-end hotel.

But I don't want to spend that money! I said, let's get together for one night!"

Hearing this, Xue Xing remembered that there was indeed such a thing.

"That small hotel didn't even have hot water, so I didn't even take a shower. I just fell asleep, but what I didn't expect was that there was a sound from the next room, a loud sound, the kind of sound that made people red-faced.

The sound insulation effect of this small hotel is really poor, and the men and women next door don't know how to converge a little, and the tossing movement is so big.

I turned off the lights and covered my ears.

But the sound still drilled into the ears one by one, especially the woman's cry, like the cry of killing a pig.

I've never heard a woman scream so loudly, how capable they are!

Then, to my astonishment, I noticed a thin light coming from the other side of the wall.

When I got up, I saw a hole the size of a finger in the wall!

When you don't turn off the lights, you can't notice it, but when the lights are turned off, the room goes dark, and the light on the opposite side is obvious.

Originally, I didn't want to peep, but I couldn't help but be curious.

So, I put my eyes together.

Then I saw the scene in the next room.

I was stunned!

I've never seen anything like this with my own eyes.

Here, I confess to you, in fact, I have had fantasies, but I can imagine the reality that I have never seen with my own eyes, and the shock of that reality is thrilling, and it makes me dizzy and overwhelmed. My world, which had been clear, suddenly became chaotic and disorganized.

I know voyeurism is immoral.

But I just didn't move my gaze, just stared at everything on the other side, listening to the voices coming from the other side.

I don't know how long it took for the other side to be quiet and the lights went out.

But I can't be quiet!

This event greatly stimulated me and opened a new window in my world, more like a seed rooted in my heart.

Since then, I've had an inexplicable expectation.

But I don't have the courage to say to you, I know that in your heart I am a pure and immaculate man, like an angel.

How could I make such a request from you?

That would ruin my image in your mind.

I know you've offered to do it, but I don't dare to say yes either.

I've been suppressing it in my heart, but the more time passes, the more painful it becomes, and the strength of its rebound grows stronger day by day.

Until that day, Zhang Dan asked me to go to her house for dinner, and Chen Zhen, the demon, appeared!

The power of that seed finally burst out uncontrollably.

I hate Chen Zhen, and I hate myself even more.

Frankly speaking, that seed will explode sooner or later, whether it is Chen Zhen, Li Zhen, or Zhang Zhen, it is only a matter of time.

Because it always needs to find a vent.

I'm sorry, husband, I wanted to present a perfect version of myself in front of you, and as a result, I was put on a wrong path. ”

Hearing this, Xue Xing lowered his head and inserted his two hands deep into his hair.

He hated myself, hated to pamper her too much, and cared too much about her feelings.

If, in this matter, he insisted a little more, was a little more arrogant, and used his body to let her realize her fantasy, perhaps, there would be no follow-up.

He regretted it, really regretted it.

He didn't notice that Wang Su'er was actually changing, he was so busy with work that he ignored her changes.

Speaking of which, I still trust her too much, thinking that she will always be like that.

Her voice continued:

"At the showdown that day, I mentioned my first time with Chen Zhen. ”

"I saw it again, this time not voyeurism, they were right under my nose, and they were deliberately letting me see it.

I watched from the sidelines, although my hands and feet were weak, but if I really wanted to leave, I could still leave, but I didn't think about running away at all, I didn't think about leaving that dangerous room right away!

I didn't even feel the danger, the indescribable smell that filled the room, was breathed into my body like a plague.

The atmosphere in the room was strange, at least, it seemed so unreal to me, like a dream, and their voices and movements were numbing me little by little like a numb!

Zhang Dan is myself!

What happened next, I can't say, I don't have the face to say.

If I could, I would like to forget that scene forever.

I had a perfect life, a happy husband, and a beautiful and lovely daughter.

In the eyes of others, this is all enviable, and I have nothing to complain about, although the life is not rich, but comfortable and peaceful, what reason do I have to betray this family?

But everything that day was deeply imprinted in my mind, lingering like a nightmare.

Chen Zhen is a bastard, a hooligan, I should have understood this a long time ago.

When I first met him, I realized that he was not a good person. When he comes to the store again and again to buy clothes, I shouldn't give him a good face. But for the sake of business, I was humble and wronged, which strengthened his courage even more.

People are really strange, when I chose my husband, I felt that my husband should be a man like you, kind, upright, affectionate, persistent, no rhetoric, no fleshy confession. As long as you love me, as long as I know you love me, it's enough.

When I think back to everything we used to be, I was fearless, even looking forward to trials and tribulations, and only tribulations can allow me to prove how strong my love is!

No ordeal happened, the days passed peacefully, I don't know when I started to complain in my heart, I complained about the trivial things, scattered to the point that I thought it was ridiculous.

You have never changed, you love me as always, and you depend on me for everything, even if I am unreasonable and troublesome, no matter how willful I am, I have not heard a reproach from your mouth.

But I felt more and more that I was becoming more and more anxious day by day, and there was an indescribable emotion that was held in my body, and I couldn't find a way to vent it.

Maybe I don't know what it is.

Until that seed appears.

You're as accurate as the clock, waking up at the same time every day, going to work at the same time, and coming back at the same time. After eating, you watch TV, I coax the children, and we don't have anything to say to each other.

Sometimes when we do things, you can't say it's bad, you can't say how good it is, and when it's done, go to sleep. Then, there is another same tomorrow to repeat.

I suddenly discovered the horror of time, no matter how brilliant love is, it can fade under the passage of time, as if our love has begun to fade.

That day, when I walked out of Zhang Dan's room, my sanity began to recover, and I realized that I had done something that you could not forgive!

I can't believe that the woman just now was me!

I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm desperate!

Back at home, I locked myself in the bathroom and rinsed myself over and over again, hoping to wash myself clean.

You're right, the body can be cleaned, but the dirt in the bones can't be washed.

When you come back, I'm afraid you'll see it.

I'm like a thief.

But you don't see anything, in your eyes, I'm still the same me.

But I'm not me anymore.

I secretly swore that I could no longer have any dealings with Chen Zhen or even Zhang Dan.

I will keep this secret forever until I die.

Then, in your heart, I will always be perfect and forever pure.

Two days later, Zhang Dan called me.

The first thing I said was to tell her that I would never have anything to do with them again. But Zhang Dan told me that the events of that day had already been recorded, and if I didn't go to her house. Chen Zhen will send you the video.

I was scared.

Then, Zhang Dan comforted me and said that Chen Zhen would not do that, after all, he is a big boss, and he also wants to save face, and if the video is exposed, it will not be good for him. He asked me to go for no other purpose than to compensate me for 100,000 yuan.

At that time, the business in the store was not very good, so I thought, anyway, I have done it, and I should get some money.

Although, I don't think Chen Zhen will be so simple, I still went to Zhang Dan's house with a fluke mentality.

As a result, Chen Zhen really gave me 100,000 yuan, and then, he really made a request. I refused, but didn't insist.

I consoled myself that it didn't matter if I had the first time anyway.

Actually, I crave that in my bones.

So, I let him succeed again.

So, I left Zhang Dan's house with guilt, regret, and despair.

Then, I went into a cycle and kept on and on.

Every time he came to me, I couldn't refuse, and afterwards, I told myself that I would never agree to him next time, next time.

What kind of woman am I?

I don't even know myself.

Seeing myself in your eyes makes me think that I am perfect, and your tolerance and doting make me naïve to think that I am a good wife and mother.

In order to maintain my image, in order to maintain this love, I had to make a more virtuous appearance, and those thoughts buried in the depths of my heart were even more unspeakable.

Over time, the seed sprouts, and sometimes, I have the illusion that there is another self living in my body, a self that I don't even understand, full of desires and depraved impulses.

My ideal is to pursue a perfect love. I got it, you are the person I always wanted, and then I became a qualified wife as I once imagined, everything came according to my vision, without the slightest deviation.

And then what? I didn't think about what I should pursue after getting love!

My instinctive fear because I didn't know where the other self was going to lead me.

It's a powerful desire, I can't say clearly, and if I had to say it, I think it can only be described in three words: unwilling.

Yes, not reconciled!

I am not willing to end like this, no more pursuit, no expectation, watching the years slowly pass by my side, let myself return from prosperity to peace, until my life comes to an end, completely ending everything.

I was reluctant to let myself wander on the edge of a dangerous cliff because of this, even though I had been trying to maintain a semblance of balance by playing the role of a normal me, the one I should be in the eyes of others. But I know for myself how fragile this balance is! so fragile that it can even be upset with a single twist of thought.

As a result, Chen Zhen appeared, and he easily woke up the other me. ”

Xue Xing listened in a daze, and remembered Gao Xueran's words again.

The failure of a marriage is not the responsibility of one person.

He finally realized that it was his own unintentional mistake that caused today's situation.

His excessive tolerance, trust, and doting have created another twisted her.