The Boundaries of Sexual Harassment Zhang Baotong 2018.8.12

Recently, we have seen a number of movements and reports on me-too incidents in the United States, France, South Korea and China, and the term sexual harassment has suddenly awakened. In the past, sexual harassment has always existed, and it has always been serious, but I feel that this kind of thing seems to be far away from me, because it is impossible for ordinary people to sexually assault girls like coaches, bosses and team doctors in the American gymnastics industry, nor do they harass female artists like some big names in the Chinese entertainment industry. These actions of theirs are entirely a crime and should be punished severely.

However, I have also seen that some units and institutions have defined sexual harassment very clearly, including staring at sensitive parts of a woman's body, deliberately colliding with or approaching a woman's body with her body, especially sensitive parts, sending sex-related text messages to women, telling some sexually relevant jokes and jokes to women, making sexual demands on women with promotion or salary increases, teasing, flirting, and touching women, and making women look at obscene pictures and videos, etc., and this behavior must be investigated and dealt with very seriously. If sexual harassment is defined in this way, then it can be said that almost every man has sexually harassed another woman or girl, and it can also be said that almost every woman and girl who is slightly more beautiful has been sexually harassed.

Sex is sometimes seen as a mysterious and beautiful thing, and sometimes it is seen as a dirty and ugly thing. If you enjoy it reasonably and legitimately, it is a pleasure, and if you violate ethics, then it is a sin. However, sexual harassment is not illegal even if it is illegal. Moreover, people do not see it as sexual harassment, but as a form of molestation or teasing. Molestation and teasing are a form of lust, while sexual harassment is more of an illegal act. It's just that China has not yet legislated for sexual harassment.

When I was traveling in Danfeng, I met a middle-aged man in his thirties with an acquaintance in the mountains. Acquaintances told me how the man was so romantic, and when he saw some beautiful women, he didn't let them go, and he had to get them. Therefore, the more beautiful little daughter-in-law in Hongo almost let him do it. I asked her if she had been harassed by others, because she was also a beautiful woman in Hongxiang, and her husband was also working outside. The woman told me the story of her and the man. One day, she was packing up her bed in the house and preparing for bed, when someone suddenly grabbed her waist from behind. She was startled, but knew right away it was the man. She asked the man to let go, but the man didn't let go, so she turned around and slapped the man. The man walked away in a gloomy manner. Soon after, the man came to her house to take shelter from the rain, but the rain kept falling, and the man took her by the hand and kept begging to spend the night with her. She saw that it was dark, and that he pleaded with him again, and she agreed.

Another acquaintance told me about her first visit to her husband's house. At that time, she had just started talking to her husband, and her husband's parents asked her to see the location of the new house. Originally, she was about to leave after dinner, but her husband pulled her alive and did not let her leave, and asked her mother to lock the door. She was very unhappy and wanted to turn her face, but she was afraid that if she turned her face, she would make things stiff, and the conditions of her husband's family were not bad, so she had to endure it. Originally, she insisted on refusing to take off her clothes, but her husband forcibly took off her clothes and forced her to sleep with him.

When I was at school, one of the main leaders fell in love with a beautiful young female teacher and seduced her by making a wish to the head teacher. But the female teacher didn't want to do it at all, so he kept calling the female teacher to the office to talk, and the conversation lasted for most of the day, and he didn't let people out. However, the female teacher still disagreed. As soon as the leader saw that he could not do this, he threatened to lay off the female teacher by downsizing the staff. It just so happens that the female teacher is beautiful, and the teaching is just average. Under the pressure of the leadership, the female teacher had to submit.

At a mountain school, I met a young teacher who told me something. He was teaching in the third year of junior high school, and he liked a girl in his class very much, and the girls liked him, but the age difference between them was more than ten years. He had always wanted to get close to the girl, but he was afraid that the girl would not want to embarrass him. So, after a final exam, the girl did poorly in math, so he called the girl into the office and showed the girl the paper. The girl knew that she did not do well in the exam, and she was afraid that her parents would scold her, so she begged the teacher to raise her noble hand. So, he asked the girl to hug her. The girl immediately agreed. So, he hugged the girl tightly and gave the girl a passing grade. So, when he told me about it, he seemed a little guilty.

When I was working in an agency, I saw a leader who always liked to pat a woman's shoulder and buttocks, or touch a woman's belly and face. Although people are not very happy, because he is a leader, others can't do anything about him, and it's not easy to show it. If he had been an ordinary clerk, people would have slapped him in the face a long time ago.

We may have been in love a few times, found a few partners, and all of us couldn't help but hold someone's hand, or hug someone's waist, or even take a trip to a relative's house. If someone has a clear statement, it certainly can't be considered harassment, but sometimes people don't say it, and even if they are a little unwilling, you have to get close to others. In the process of falling in love, there is a saying, "Men are not bad, women are not loved". This bad word is that men should boldly take the initiative to show love. In addition to caring and loving, this show of love is to attack her boldly and actively, starting with holding hands, then touching her face, then kissing and hugging, and sometimes whether she wants to or not, she will attack hard until she gets her hands. In fact, these actions are sexual harassment. However, even the woman herself will not see this as sexual harassment, only as if you really love her. On the contrary, some boys are too dull and unemotional, and they will make girls feel that this person is too unenlightened.

This kind of teasing, flirting or harassment is an expression of affection for women. If someone doesn't like you, or even hates you, and doesn't want you to tease, flirt, and harass her in this way, you still insist on or force it, it will be seen as a violation. People are very sensitive to this so-called teasing, flirting or harassment, and they can grasp its proportions and boundaries very well. For example, some of the examples I gave above, if the Danfeng woman didn't want to be harassed, she could give that person a slap in the face and beat him away. If the female teacher does not want to be harassed by the leader, she can righteously refuse the position of the director of education. If the woman doesn't want to be violated by the subject, she can turn her face with him. In fact, men are not without consideration and concern about what they are going to do. If the middle school teacher wants to hug the girl, ask for the girl's permission beforehand. Because he knew that if the girl did not want to, she would tell the truth, and it would have serious consequences for his reputation and career. And even in the process of love, before we attack the woman, we will test it to see how the woman reacts. If the woman really pulls her face down, then you will know that people are not to be offended at all.

We see that when animals are in heat and mating, males constantly infest females. Although we humans have entered the age of civilization, the primitive animal instinct is still in the genes. Therefore, the nature of teasing, flirting, harassing and showing affection to women is still ingrained. And men don't love women, and the heavens and the earth will be destroyed. However, people must be constrained by norms of behavior, that is, the degree of such harassment cannot exceed the tolerance of others, let alone the bottom line of morality and law. In fact, in our daily lives, the line between courting women and sexual harassment is very blurred. A few of the above examples have not had any consequences in themselves, and are not even known. But if you compare it with some of the provisions on sexual harassment that are explicitly prescribed, the matter will suddenly become serious. Leaving aside the affairs of the peasants in the countryside, even the head of the school and the middle school teacher, not to mention whether they will be disciplined, at least their reputations will be seriously damaged.

Traditional Chinese culture has always regarded sex as mysterious, dirty, and ugly, and any incident related to sex can easily ruin a reputation. If we say that the leader of the school sexually harassed a female teacher, and that the middle school teacher sexually harassed a female student, will the leader and the teacher be able to stay in the school in the future? Not to mention that they will not be able to stay in this school, and they will still be pointed at and poked even if they are transferred to another school. Usually, we often see some men who are not too self-respecting to touch and screw on other women. When a woman is happy, she smiles, and when she is unhappy, she scolds her. Everyone is accustomed to this as common. If they are labelled as sexual harassment because of this, the nature will change dramatically. In addition, the expressions of various sexual harassments in Chinese characters are also relatively accurate and appropriate, and quite subtle, such as lustful, flowery, cheap, provocative, molested, and obscene. Each word has its own meaning, unlike the word sexual harassment, which has a very broad meaning and a very strict meaning.

Therefore, the definition of sexual harassment must be serious, not arbitrary and far-fetched. In addition to the very obvious sexual assault and sexual harassment, it can make people feel very angry and hateful. And on weekdays, there are many plausible or less obvious sexual harassments, and the boundaries are very difficult to define. It is important to be very careful when it comes to the definition of sexual harassment of children, as the situation of children will be more sensitive. We need to educate people through ethics and the rule of law to clearly understand the dangers of sexual harassment, and at the same time, we should not lightly label anyone as sexual harassment.