"If I could, I would like to be reduced to ashes and dissipated. I'm not afraid of death, but I'm afraid that after death, I will leave my traces in this world. ”

Ruan Xiang always felt that he would not live for a few days.

The whole day was muddy, even visual and auditory hallucinations, as if he had fallen into the bottomless sea water and was completely submerged.

She occasionally thought that it was better to die than this.

Desperate?

In fact, there was not much despair, or rather, there was nothing worth despairing about.

Not only is she alive and well, but she is also not short of food and clothing.

Just like those people often say, it's just that there is no disease**, this kind of situation, nine times out of ten people in the world have encountered it, and no one has ever been as cowardly as Ruan Xiang.

Ruan Xiang couldn't understand at first,

Why are those things that make you miserable but nothing in the eyes of others?

Later she understood,

So she doesn't struggle anymore.

She slowly fell into the sea until she was already in the deep sea, and the huge pressure made her breathless......

But it's extraordinarily relaxing.

It doesn't matter how hard the world is,

Because she wasn't going to go down seriously.

If you can live, you can live, and it doesn't matter if you can't.

After figuring this out,

Ruan Xiang felt as if he had been freed from the deep sea.

Li Jiancheng was helpless, but he didn't argue with her, and changed the topic: "How far do you have to go?"

"It's coming. ”

Obviously, Ruan Xiang cherishes words like gold, and Li Jiancheng is not bored anymore, and only follows Ruan Xiang peacefully.

Not long after, Ruan Xiang stopped at the gate of a courtyard.

This should be Ruan Xiang's home.

But Ruan Xiang didn't push the door in, but turned to look at Li Jiancheng and asked, "You have lived for so long, what should you do?"

"For example, ......?"

She pointed to the door lock: "Unlock." ”

"Oh?"

"I forgot my keys. ”

Li Jiancheng didn't talk nonsense, raised his hand and pressed it on the lock, only to hear a click, a very crisp sound came, and then the door opened.

But Ruan Xiang's expression did not improve.

"Why, don't you go in?" asked Li Jiancheng.

"I asked you to pick the lock, I didn't let you break mine. ”

Li Jiancheng spread his hands: "Isn't this a lock?"

Ruan Xiang was silent, only took off the ancient sword behind his back, and slowly unwrapped the package on the ancient sword, and suddenly a trace of coolness soaked through Li Jiancheng's heart.

The ancient sword is famous, slashing souls.

Therefore, Li Jiancheng immediately pressed Ruan Xiang's hand and said very seriously: "It doesn't matter if the lock is broken, I will help you watch the door every day in the future." ”

So Ruan Xiang withdrew his hand, picked up the ancient sword and walked in.

The room is not big, but it is extremely empty, there is only a sofa in the living room, not even a coffee table, and the floor is covered with dust, which looks quite desolate.

Li Jiancheng saw the group photo hanging on the wall at first sight.

It was a photo of Ruan Xiang and another girl in Tsing Yi, in the photo, Ruan Xiang leaned on the girl in Tsing Yi, with a clear and gentle smile, looking warm and happy, and now it is like two people.

So Li Jiancheng asked, "Who is this?"

Ruan Xiang raised his eyes and couldn't help but look dark, but he immediately turned his head away and said casually: "It's not an important person, I just forgot to throw it away, you remember to remind me next time, you have to throw it away." ”

"......" Li Jiancheng didn't have the habit of exploring people's roots, and only asked, "Where should I sleep?"

"Whatever you like. Ruan Xiang threw down this sentence irresponsibly, then walked into his room and closed the door.

Li Jiancheng sighed, sighed again, and had no choice but to lie down on the sofa, raising his hand to press the wound in front of him, and was a little dazed for a while.

He knew why he was here.

He is already dead, but he still has some obsessions to end, so he has always refused to enter the inner world, but wanders in the surface world.

The table world is closest to the real world,

The so-called real world is the world in front of you.

The world of Kerry is where the dead deserve.

His body is dead, but his heart is not cold.

Although he didn't want to intrude on the real world, he still refused to leave like this, he had to be obsessed with it, so he had been waiting for an opportunity in the world.

Finally, until today, he waited for Ruan Xiang.

This descendant of the Fangshi family.

The fate of the Fang Shi family is to send the souls that wander in the surface world into the inner world, and once those souls have their wishes fulfilled, they will enter the inner world without obsession and willingly.

This is what the Fangshi family should do.

Today, these people are also known as wish-givers.

But obviously, Ruan Xiang is different from other wish-grantees, cold and detached, as if she herself is the soul who should fall into the inner world.

She seems to have no heart anymore......

Li Jiancheng thought so, and suddenly caught a glimpse of a puppet in the corner of his vision, the puppet lowered its head and remained motionless, as if it was dead.

"But aren't puppets dead?" Li Jiancheng thought in his heart, and closed his eyes.

......

Following.

Ruan Xiang was woken up by a phone call.

She frowned, resisting the urge to smash her phone.

She has always had the habit of muting her phone, but she was so sleepy last night that she forgot to mute it before going to bed.

"Hey ......"

A girl's voice came from the other end of the phone: "Xiao Ruan, are you here today?"

Ruan Xiang's tone was calm: "Don't come." ”

"So, that'......"

"I still have something to do, hang up first. ”

After that, Ruan Xiang hung up the phone directly, then threw the phone aside, and was about to continue to lie down, but Li Jiancheng pushed the door open.

"Aren't you going out?" asked Li Jiancheng.

Ruan Xiang raised his eyebrows: "Why should I go out?"

"Sixteen-year-old girl, she should still be in high school, isn't it a vacation today, and she won't go to class?"

Ruan Xiang should go.

But she didn't feel the need anymore.

About half a year ago, she was diagnosed with moderate depression and was supposed to receive medication and psychotherapy, but because of the cost and her studies, it was over.

But the disease will not go away.

She had thought about suicide countless times.

Even stood on the high platform, but in the end he still retreated, either cowardly or unwilling.

said that there is no love in life, and it seems to be nostalgic.

To put it simply, I want to die but I am reluctant to die.

She didn't know how to describe the feeling of despair and collapse, like being in the deep sea, already submerged by the sea, knowing that the sun was falling on the surface of the sea, but she was unable to swim up, so she could only slowly fall.

Falling deep at the bottom of the sea.

She would love to fall in love with the world again.

But again and again, it was ruthlessly torn apart by reality.

But she's still alive.

Ruan Xiang glanced at Li Jiancheng's bloodstained clothes, was silent for a moment, and said, "You go and change your clothes." ”

Otherwise, this bloodstained body would look weird and scary.

"I don't have clothes. ”

Also.

Li Jiancheng was brought back by Ruan Xiang from the watch world, and he had nothing left except this person.

Ruan Xiang rummaged through the cabinets in distress, and finally turned out a few neutral clothes that could barely be worn by Li Jiancheng.

correct

Even if it is just a simple and flawless white shirt, it is also a feminine style, although there are no patterns on the clothes, but the design of the waist still makes Li Jiancheng look funny.

After looking at his glasses, Li Jiancheng stroked his forehead with his hand: "If I go out like this, I'm afraid that others will think of me as a pervert." ”

"It's better than thinking of yourself as a murderer. After Ruan Xiang finished washing, he put on the ancient sword on his back, "Let's go." ”

"Where are you going?"

"Send you away. ”

Li Jiancheng is dead, and the reason why he is still stuck in the real world is because he still has an obsession to end, so Ruan Xiang wants to help him but is obsessed.

The ancient city of Haizhou in the early morning is quite quiet, the huge neon sign is also dead at the moment, there are few pedestrians on the street, quite deserted, and the breeze blows by, with a hint of coolness.

Li Jiancheng didn't know where Ruan Xiang was going to take him.

In fact, Ruan Xiang never asked him what his obsession was.

But he didn't ask much, and only followed behind Ruan Xiang.

There are many places in this world that are at the junction of the real world and the surface world, and ordinary people passing by them only feel cold and cold, but those such as Li Jiancheng and Ruan Xiang can enter the world of the table from this.

It's like last night's alley.

Ruan Xiang stood still in front of the alley and looked up at it: "Is he dead too?"

Although Ruan Xiang didn't ask, she already had a conclusion in her heart that the reason why Li Jiancheng didn't return to the inner world was just for another person.

"About. Li Jiancheng smiled lightly, "So, you want to take me to the watch world to find him?"

"Hmm. Ruan Xiang walked in without looking back.

Li Jiancheng stayed outside for a moment, and said with a sigh: "Maybe he has long been obsessed with it and returned to the inner world." ”

Only Li Jiancheng still remembers him.

After that, Li Jiancheng also stepped in.

The watch world looks very similar to the real world, but it is shrouded in fog all year round, and the visual range is only four or five meters away, and there is only a dense fog further away.

Therefore, Ruan Xiang and Li Jiancheng did not dare to separate too far.

There were other wandering souls around, but Ruan Xiang ignored them, and only walked on the road with Li Jiancheng, all the way forward.

"Don't you care about these people?" asked Li Jiancheng.

Ruan Xiang didn't reply: "I don't want to pay attention to it." ”

"You're a wish-taker......

It is the fate of their family to send the soul wandering in the surface world into the inner world, how can they ignore it?

Ruan Xiang was silent for a moment, and then spoke, his voice was as quiet as water: "I can't help them, if I can, I want to enter the inner world myself......"

"Then why help me?"

“......”

There are so many souls floating in the world, but Ruan Xiang chose Li Jiancheng alone?

Ruan Xiang didn't know either.

It's probably because I saw Li Jiancheng's appearance last night.

It was so bloody and embarrassed, covered with bruises, but he always had a smile on his face, and it was not affected by his physical state.

But......

It's as if my heart has been torn apart.

He had the same desperation.

Although there were countless souls floating around in the world, Ruan Xiang obviously had her way, so she traveled in the same direction with Li Jiancheng all the way, occasionally bumping into other evil ghosts on the way, and they all retreated under the majesty of the ancient sword behind Ruan Xiang.

"It's really easy to use. Li Jiancheng sighed with emotion.

Ruan Xiang didn't answer, only raised his hand and pointed ahead.

A woman sat at the table, her head bowed, her hands in front of her, her fingers intertwined weakly, as if she were dead.

Li Jiancheng took a closer look around.

This is a mansion, with a big red lantern hanging in front of the mansion, which looks scarlet and weird, and the road to the depths of the mansion is like a ghostly road to the underworld......

And the woman ......

He looked like he was no more than sixteen years old.

The moment he saw her, the expression on Li Jiancheng's face froze, and the original calm and calm was long gone, replaced by an extremely complicated look.

Li Jiancheng stepped forward.

The woman looked up, as she heard the noise.

Her face was old and decrepit, as if she was seventy or eighty years old, she was already dying, and she was about to die, but the moment she saw Li Jiancheng, there seemed to be a flash of light in her eyes.

"Build ......" The hoarse voice came from her mouth, and she seemed to stretch out her hand, but she was extremely slow to move.

Li Jiancheng took the first step to hold her hand, hugged her into his arms, and said softly and forcefully: "I'm here." ”

Sound calms people's hearts.

"I'm sorry......" the woman sighed with tears in her eyes.

Li Jiancheng gently soothed: "You have done a good job." ”

She stood up forcefully and wanted to pull Li Jiancheng to the depths of the mansion, and at that moment, she seemed to turn into a sixteen-year-old girl again.

I saw her smiling Yan Yan:

"You come with me. ”

Li Jiancheng was dragged into the mansion by her.

But before stepping into the mansion, Ruan Xiang grabbed his shirt.

"Don't go. ”

Li Jiancheng let go of his hand in an instant, and although half of his foot stepped into it, he was still pulled back by Ruan Xiang, but the woman had already disappeared into the depths of the mansion and never came back.

"...... she?" Li Jiancheng still looked into the depths of the mansion, but as far as the eye could see, there was only nothingness, and nothing else.

"Her obsession should be over. Ruan Xiang said.

Li Jiancheng was silent.

Ruan Xiang looked up at him: "What's wrong?"

"I thought she should have forgotten about me a long time ago......"

"It's been more than 50 years since I died. ”

"But I don't want to, I'm her only obsession. ”

When we first met that year, she was sixteen years old, Li Jiancheng was twenty-six, and when Li Jiancheng died, she was only twenty-eight years old.

The family died.

Even his only daughter died in Huangquan.

She was lonely all her life, until she was seventy-eight years old......

It was business as usual.

If it weren't for someone coming and going, I'm afraid no one would know about her death.

She sat quietly at the table, as if asleep.

But I can't wake up again.

Ruan Xiang stood aside and waited quietly, waiting for Li Jiancheng to clean up his mind, but Li Jiancheng was far more indifferent than she imagined.

He quickly regained his usual composure and asked, "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

“...... Let's go. ”

Ruan Xiang didn't take Li Jiancheng to go to the depths of the surface world again, firstly, he had been gone for a long time today, and it was time to go back, and secondly, the surface world should not go deeper, especially the living, it was very easy to be pulled into the inner world.

......

The home was as quiet as ever.

If Li Jiancheng is not there, she will be the only one in the family.

For so long in the past, she was only one person, even when she collapsed on the ground and struggled in pain, she was only one person.

If one day he dies silently,

No one should know.

But today someone came.

Outside the door, someone knocked on the door hurriedly, and it seemed to knock on Ruan Xiang's heart one after another.

But Ruan Xiang didn't get up and opened the door.

She lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

She heard a voice outside the door, but it was illusory, it seemed to be nothing, she didn't know if it was a hallucination or reality.

now

There is a sharp pain churning in the heart.

Her whole body felt as if she had been gnawed by something, and she was throbbing for a while, but she couldn't move.

She wanted to cry.

But he couldn't cry anymore.

Since she lived alone, she has rarely cried.

Even if it is already pathetic and painful to the extreme.

Li Jiancheng glanced at Ruan Xiang's room and opened the door for her.

The man outside the door opened his mouth and asked, "Where's Ruan Xiangren?!Quick, let her come out, I'm in a hurry to find her!"

Li Jiancheng asked slowly, "What's the matter?"

The man was extremely anxious: "Don't talk nonsense, let me see Ruan Xiang." ”

"If you don't explain your identity clearly, and you don't say anything, how can I talk to Ruan Xiang?" Li Jiancheng said, and was about to close the door, "Or try to knock on the door after you phrase it, maybe I will let you see her." ”

"Wait a minute! I'm Chen Lan, Jiang Ning...... Jiang Ning is dying...... Hurry up and let me see Ruan Xiang and let Ruan Xiang save her!"

Jiang Ning.

A name that Ruan Xiang didn't want to recall anyway.

Li Jiancheng still closed the door, leaving only one sentence: "I will tell her, you can go back." ”

Chen Lan wanted to say something, but he was already turned away by Li Jiancheng, he had the heart to knock on the door, but he also knew in his heart that the gentle-looking man in front of him would definitely not give him another chance to speak.

Li Jiancheng sat on the sofa, his eyes fell in the direction of Ruan Xiang's room, and somehow, he suddenly felt a little funny.

Let Ruan Xiang save others?

But who will save her?

I don't know how long it took, Ruan Xiang finally pushed open the door of the room, looking the same as usual, and there was nothing wrong with it.

Li Jiancheng cautiously tested: "How do you feel now?"

"Don't ask these superfluous questions. ”

Ruan Xiang has never told others.

Because those people will only say the same weak and pale words.

They would only give a perfunctory reassurance, saying that she was just under too much psychological pressure and that it would be good to rest, or put on a condescending posture and tell her that others were far more miserable than her, but they were not like her.

So Ruan Xiang also saw it.

Why bother to tell others about her pain.

It is enough for one person to bear.

"Someone has been here before?"

Li Jiancheng nodded: "A person named Chen Lan said that Jiang Ning was dying." ”

Ruan Xiang pursed his lips.

"He wants you to save her. ”

Ruan Xiang took out his mobile phone and saw dozens of missed calls and unread text messages on the screen, and was a little scared for a while.

She was scared.

Don't dare to look, don't dare to reply.

This is also the reason why her phone has been silent for a long time.

But she suppressed her fear, patiently read the text messages one by one, and probably understood what was happening.

Jiang Ning is dying.

Now in the hospital, but no specific symptoms can be found, only unconscious, but day by day weaker, as if haunted by evil spirits.

So Chen Lan asked Ruan Xiang for help.

Ruan Xiang deleted all the information one by one very simply, and even blocked the phone call, and then told Li Jiancheng: "If anyone comes again in the future, just drive them away." ”

"Don't want to see you?"

"It's not that I don't want to. ”

"That's?"

"It's disgusting. ”

Li Jiancheng understood very well, but there were no words of comfort, not to mention that he also knew that what Ruan Xiang needed was never pale and powerless words of comfort.

The reason why Ruan Xiang can still chat with him is nothing more than because he is no longer alive.

"What do you want to do now?" asked Li Jiancheng again.

"I don't know. ”

Ruan Xiang felt that she had nothing left in her heart, but even with such an empty heart, she couldn't hold any hope, she tried very hard to like something, but it always ended in nothing.

Games, Novels...... Those things that I used to love, but now I can't arouse half of interest, even when I have nothing to do, I don't have the interest to touch them.

Li Jiancheng pointed to the game on the bookshelf and asked, "You should like it very much, right?

Ruan Xiang's gaze followed, shook his head, and said, "I don't like it anymore." ”

She used to love it.

At that time, I always played the Legend of Sword and Fairy with my family, and later when I was alone, I would silently read the relevant content, and even wrote about the same literature about Sword and Fairy.

I don't know when she doesn't like anything anymore, and she no longer has any illusions about this world.

For this reason, she went to buy the game some time ago, she thought she could love it again, but after trying to find it completely futile.

She seemed to be walking on the edge of this world, detached from it, and although she occasionally came into contact with the living, she was never able to fit in.

Fortunately, she met some people online.

Although she never communicates with people in reality, Ruan Xiang still has a need to communicate, so she met a few people online.

They had never met each other, and they didn't study each other deeply, so they chatted with each other like this, which made Ruan Xiang feel very comfortable.

Because they will not interfere in Ruan Xiang's life, nor will they tear apart Ruan Xiang's past experiences, every time she is in pain to toss and turn, she will turn on her mobile phone to look at the content of the group chat.

It was a small group of only five people, and in addition to Ruan Xiang, there were three men and one woman.

"Are werewolves playing?" asked the bottlecap in the group.

Jiang Yu: "Play werewolf killing with me, I'm afraid I'm going to play you to doubt your life." ”

Milk tea: "It's really doubtful to be a teammate with you." ”

River fish: "???"

Milk Tea is a girl four years older than Ruan Xiang, and she opened a milk tea shop in Nanjing, so everyone calls her Milk Tea.

Ruan Xiang also posted: "I don't know how to play this yet." ”

White Water: "We can teach you. ”

In this way, Ruan Xiang played werewolf killing with the four of them, and at first they were innocent civilians who were often pushed out, but as they played for more and more, they gradually became familiar with the game routines.

For about three days, Ruan Xiang has been playing werewolf killing with them, and occasionally playing other games together, such as Famine's, PUBG, and Trek in the Deep...... Even fighting landlords, in short, the five of them can always play together.

Ruan Xiang thought that he would probably be able to slowly like them, and then like the world.

Chen Lan came to the door.

Because Ruan Xiang could never be contacted, Chen Lan really couldn't wait, so he could only come to the door again and knock on the door violently.

It was also Li Jiancheng who went to open the door, but this time Chen Lan rushed in directly, he ran to Ruan Xiang and shouted: "Are you still in the mood to play games? Jiang Ning is dying, don't you know?!"

Ruan Xiang was a little dazed: "What does it have to do with me?"

Chen Lan wanted to say something, Li Jiancheng directly grabbed him and wanted to throw him out, Chen Lan struggled vigorously, but he was not Li Jiancheng's opponent.

Li Jiancheng didn't look strong, but he had a lot of strength, and Chen Lan couldn't break free at all, so he could only shout: "Do you want to watch Jiang Ning die?"

"If Jiang Ning dies because of you, what will Tsing Yi think?!"

With just one sentence, Ruan Xiang's taut strings broke.

Tsing Yi ......

Li Jiancheng subconsciously glanced at the group photo on the wall, which was a photo of Ruan Xiang and a girl in Tsing Yi.

"Go back. Ruan Xiang was silent.

"Ruan Xiang, you ......!"

Li Jiancheng pushed him out and said, "It's her business to save or not, it has nothing to do with you, let's go, it's useless for you to talk more." ”

After sending Chen Lan away, Li Jiancheng looked back at Ruan Xiang, only to see her sitting silently at the table, her eyes empty, as if she had lost her soul, like a puppet.

Ruan Xiang has always given him the illusion of half-life.

She still walks in this world, but it seems that she is dead, like the doll in the house, empty of human form, but without heart.

Thinking of this, Li Jiancheng suddenly found that the puppet in the house was gone, and looked around, only to find that the puppet was placed in another corner.

Discarding the superfluous thoughts, Li Jiancheng opened his mouth: "Ruan Xiang." ”

Ruan Xiang came back to her senses at this time, she closed her eyes, calmed down for a moment, then stood up and said, "Let's go." ”

Li Jiancheng reminded: "Do you want to throw away the group photo?"

Ruan Xiang's footsteps slowed slightly: "Talk a lot." ”

............

The two went to the hospital together.

Jiang Ning was lying in the ICU intensive care unit, but no one could diagnose the cause, only that she was slowly losing her vital signs.

Ruan Xiang and Li Jiancheng stood outside the door, and through the window, Jiang Ning's parents could be seen looking haggard and anxious.

"What is her relationship with you?" asked Li Jiancheng.

"Not something very important. ”

"What about Tsing Yi?"

Ruan Xiang was silent.

Since Ruan Xiang didn't say it, Li Jiancheng didn't ask, but she suddenly opened her mouth: "If you can, I don't think I've ever known her." ”

"She's not good?" asked Li Jiancheng tentatively.

"She's a very nice person. Ruan Xiang tilted his head, and his voice was so quiet that there was no trace of emotion, "It's just that I lost her." ”

She knew that Tsing Yi didn't throw her down on purpose.

But when she was desperate and powerless, she only had Tsing Yi, but at that time, Tsing Yi was not there.

If she hadn't known Tsing Yi early on, she might not have had hope, and she wouldn't have been so cowardly.

Why...... She thought there was still hope, but suddenly she was swallowed into the boundless darkness.

"That'...... What about Jiang Ning?" asked Li Jiancheng again.

"She is the person Tsing Yi once liked. ”

Chen Lan saw Ruan Xiang through the glass window, so he strode out and asked very hurriedly, "Is Jiang Ning still saved?"

Ruan Xiang shook his head.

She's not a doctor.

What's more, she is extremely disgusted with Jiang Ning and Chen Lan.

In other words, in fact, he just dislikes Jiang Ning alone, and for Chen Lan, he only brought it in passing, just because they are boyfriend and girlfriend.

Chen Lan was desperate and said in a low voice: "You go." ”

So Ruan Xiang pulled Li Jiancheng and left.

It's just that when he was about to leave the hospital, Li Jiancheng suddenly stopped, he looked at the stairs on the side, thought for a moment, and then raised his feet to go up.

"Li Jiancheng?"

"There's an acquaintance nearby, you wait, I'll look for it. ”

Ruan Xiang sat casually on a chair in the hospital corridor.

She didn't know what Li Jiancheng was going to find as a deceased, but she didn't care much, if she found it, maybe she could still do it, but Li Jiancheng's obsession.

So she sat here and waited.

Suddenly, she saw a boy of seven or eight years old, walking in a daze, as if looking for something, but could not find it.

That anxious and sad look can't help but make people feel distressed.

But Ruan Xiang was indifferent.

The boy walked all the way to Ruan Xiang and asked timidly and pitifully, "Sister, have you seen my family?"

Ruan Xiang shook his head.

"They're all dead......"

"Then I can't find it. ”

The two looked at each other, and the atmosphere suddenly became a little weird.

Fortunately, Li Jiancheng came back in time, and the moment he saw the boy, Li Jiancheng opened his mouth: "Chengming." ”

It is recorded in the history books that Li Chengming, the king of Runan, was the fifth son of Li Jiancheng, the king of Xi, and was sentenced in the ninth year of Wude.

Li Chengming stepped forward and hugged Li Jiancheng, looked up at him, and wanted to cry: "I've been looking for you for a long time......"

"I saw the third uncle some time ago, but his head is gone, and Chengming can't understand what he's talking about......"

Li Jiancheng patted him on the back with a smile and said, "Your third uncle must also be anxious to find his family." ”

But I can't find it.

His wife has already married someone else, even if she has an obsession, it must not be for him.

Ruan Xiang looked at Li Jiancheng: "This is the person you are looking for?"

Li Jiancheng nodded.

So Ruan Xiang stood up: "Go back." ”

Outside the hospital, Ruan Xiang saw a cyan figure at a glance, and naturally, Li Jiancheng also noticed it, so he reached out and helped Ruan Xiang.

yes......

At this time, why didn't Tsing Yi come to visit Jiang Ning?

Ruan Xiang turned his back and pulled Li Jiancheng to hide in the alley on the side, as if there was some flood beast chasing outside.

She was too scared.

Afraid to see Tsing Yi.

is also afraid of being questioned by Tsing Yi why he left her.

It was she who left Tsing Yi.

She felt as if she had been left behind by Tsing Yi, but if she thought about it carefully, it was clear that she had abandoned Tsing Yi.

It's true...... It's ridiculous......

I don't know how long I hid, but it wasn't until Li Jiancheng told her that Tsing Yi had already entered the hospital that Ruan Xiang finally dared to come out.

Silent all the way until they entered the house.

Ruan Xiang saw that Li Chengming was still following in, and couldn't help asking, "Is he going to be here too?"

"Since they all took me in, why not have multiple children. Li Jiancheng smiled.

Ruan Xiang didn't argue, it was a tacit acquiescence.

Li Chengming cried with Li Jiancheng about the misery after his death, and Li Jiancheng listened patiently and comforted him gently.

When Ruan Xiang heard this, he suddenly asked, "Death...... What does it feel like?"

She really yearns for it.

I have planned it countless times, and I have even made a clear plan, but I never have the courage to execute it.

She needed an opportunity.

At that time, she was already standing by the lake, slowly reaching out and not entering the water, but when she touched the cold water, she had the idea of retreating.

In fact, she is not afraid of death.

But she was really afraid that after her death, someone would read her past life one by one, and then publish it on the last page of a certain newspaper, as a negative teaching material, telling her sad and ridiculous life.

She wanted to die quietly.

It's better that no one can remember her past.

It's best to drown in the long memories of others.

It is better to completely die out even the traces of existence.

That way, she can die in peace.

But she sometimes thinks that if a person is not cared for even when she is alive, will anyone really look through her past after death?

I'm afraid not.

But she was still cowardly.

Li Jiancheng told her: "Don't think about it. ”

Ruan Xiang knew that she had worked hard.

She knew that she was just sick, and she also consulted a lot of treatment-related materials, learned to communicate and integrate, and tried to like the things she once liked, but she still couldn't get rid of the pain.

What if only he died?

No.

If only I had never lived.

The traces of life in this world are so dazzling, rather than dying, she prefers to die, preferably with the traces of her life, and the memories of others about her, all of which are completely extinguished.

............

After that, Ruan Xiang played with the group of people.

Jiangyu's werewolf killing level is very high, and he can always fool others, and he always happily mocks them after winning the game.

So the bottle cap said: "I think, if you play LOL, the river fish is definitely suitable for single." ”

Milk tea: "What do you say?"

Bottle cap: "This taunt will definitely set him on fire on the other side." ”

Bai Shui: "Speaking of which...... Why don't we go play LOL?"

Ruan Xiang silently posted: "What is LOL......"

The remaining four: "......"

So Ruan Xiang was dragged to play League of Legends again.

Jiang Yu is a very good joker, and every time he plays a game, he will tell a lot of jokes, which makes others laugh.

Occasionally, Ruan Xiang would feel funny, but when he opened his mouth, he found that he couldn't laugh anymore, so he could only force himself to laugh.

Ruan Xiang felt as if he was slowly getting better, and when he played with them, he always felt relaxed, even if he lost all his mood after turning off the game.

But it's a big step forward.

If there was no suicide in the past because of the fear of leaving traces of existence after death, now I want to play with the four of them.

The only interest in living in this world.

Li Jiancheng was helpless: "Speaking of which, you probably forgot to ask for my obsession." ”

"Isn't it good to be with Lee Seung-myung?"

"It's not bad. Li Jiancheng sighed, "It's just that I have one person who I want to meet no matter what." ”

Not his wife, not his children.

Ruan Xiang nodded.

She grabbed her things and was about to go out.

Li Jiancheng couldn't help asking, "Where are you going?"

"Exams. ”

Li Jiancheng almost forgot that Ruan Xiang was still a high school student, and although he had been absent from school for a few days, he had never missed exams.

Even after more than a month of absenteeism, the total score of the monthly examination was still in the top 200 in the grade of more than 1,000 people.

At that time, Ruan Xiang was always focused on studying, even in his spare time, he always read all kinds of world classics.

Today's Ruan Xiang can't even understand himself at that time.

She didn't know what she was working for.

has lost its direction.

She sometimes misses the feeling of hard work, at least when she had a clear goal, but now she has nothing left, everything is dead except that she is still alive in a muddle.

Several buildings are connected by a promenade.

Building D of the high school is used as a laboratory building, except for physical and biological experiments or special circumstances, no one travels on Building D.

Although Ruan Xiang's examination room was in Building C, after the exam, she still walked to Building D first, which was quiet and empty.

She likes such empty spaces.

Only a handful of people would be in such a place as she was.

But she saw Luo Zhiheng.

I met Luo Zhiheng a long time ago, and Luo Zhiheng gave her the impression of being an out-and-out bad student.

It's the kind of person she wouldn't like anyway.

Smoking, fighting, skipping class......

She was annoying.

But now, she felt as if she had seen the same pain in Luo Zhiheng.

Luo Zhiheng has a broken family.

He wasn't crying, but Ruan Xiang felt he was sad.

She hadn't been in contact with him for a long time.

So Ruan Xiang sighed, and then stretched out his hand to him: "Come here." ”

"Good ......"

Ruan Xiang really wants to like something, whether it's people or things, but even if he works hard, he can't like anything.

On the contrary, there are more and more people or things that I hate day by day.

Until she saw Luo Zhiheng, she felt that she could probably like him, so she should be able to like this world again, right?

In Luo Zhiheng,

She seemed to have found a sense of being alive.

If you continue like this, you will definitely be able to enjoy the world again.

Volume 2 Shadows

Ruan Xiang is extremely lonely most of the time.

Except for her, there is only her shadow.

Meeting Luo Zhiheng was an accident, but at least Ruan Xiang felt that he might be able to get rid of the pain he was now and regain his feeling as a living person.

But after all, it is delusional.

That's not something earth-shattering.

It's just that I heard Luo Zhiheng answer a phone call that day, and Luo Zhiheng's family on the other end of the phone, it doesn't matter who the specific person is, in short, he is a person who cares about him very much, and he is shushing and asking for warmth.

At that moment, Ruan Xiang suddenly felt that he was with him,

Separated in two different worlds.

One is the world of the living, while the other belongs to the dead.

There seems to be something blocking between her and Luo Zhiheng, a barrier that she will never be able to break.

She thought she liked Luo Zhiheng, she thought she could never waver, she thought that she could fall in love with the world again.

She was wrong.

Really wrong.

Luo Zhiheng also looked for her countless times.

He didn't understand, didn't understand at all.

Ruan Xiang didn't tell Luo Zhiheng the reason, because even Ruan Xiang himself didn't understand why he couldn't like Luo Zhiheng just because of such a thing.

It's ridiculous.

Li Jiancheng and Li Chengming were gossiping, and when they saw Ruan Xiang walking back to his room with an expressionless face, they knew what was happening.

Probably wanting to take Ruan Xiang out for a walk, Li Jiancheng pushed open Ruan Xiang's door and said to her, "I seem to have seen a familiar person, do you want to go with me to have a look?"

Ruan Xiang instinctively wanted to refuse.

But she really doesn't want to sink like this, she wants to save herself, she wants to get her life back on track.

So he forced the uncomfortable and disgusting feeling and nodded.

It's a contradiction.

One moment I want to die, and the next I want to live.

She followed Li Jiancheng and walked out.

The two of them walked down the street together.

Li Jiancheng told her a story, which was about the Tang prince Li Jiancheng 1,400 years ago.

But he didn't talk about the Jin Ge Iron Horse in the history books, nor did he talk about the final clan cannibalism, but just talked about some of the most ordinary trivial things.

"I had a child, he was my first child, but he was born frail and sickly, even if he invited the holy hand of all the healers in the world, it would not help. ”

"When he was three years old, he had a high fever that didn't go away, and just like that, he pulled on my sleeve and slowly lost his breath. ”

"He only lived for three years, and he didn't see all the scenes in the world at all, and he didn't even recognize all his clan relatives, so he died. ”

"In the years since he died, I've been wondering if I'm supposed to do something about it, if I'm not doing my job at all. ”

Ruan Xiang looked at Li Jiancheng steadily.

She has always liked Li Jiancheng, at first she liked the description of Li Jiancheng in the history books, and she liked Li Jiancheng's gentleness, but it was also because of this gentleness that his splendid life was ruined.

But later,

What she likes is the pathos and misery of Li Jiancheng......

It is clear that he is the prince of the East Palace, who is full of splendor, and he is clearly only one step away from the Ninth Five-Year Honor, and it is clear that the ministers have already advised him to beware of Li Shimin.

But it's still so gentle.

watched Li Shimin grow up step by step with such gentleness, and even personally helped Li Shimin's Tiance Army grow.

Then, under the Xuanwu Gate, he was pierced through the heart by Li Shimin.

Even such a mediocre nickname as Xi Yin was begged for by his old subordinates, Prince Xi Wang Yin...... How ridiculous.

Even Li Shimin's subordinates described Li Jiancheng like this: "Pouring money and charity, humbling corporals, and the heart of a scholar, all of them are there." ”

Ruan Xiang suddenly asked, "Don't you regret it?"

Li Jiancheng was about to be asked, but he still laughed: "What's the point of asking this? ”

"Forget it. Ruan Xiang suddenly lost interest, or rather, she was not interested, "Go back." ”

"Hmm. ”