Because Shen Cang had the opportunity to enter and leave the palace from time to time, Shen Fengxu would occasionally write some notes for Shen Cang to bring in, and Jiang Xiyue would also write something she wanted to say on the paper, and then let Shen Cang bring it to Shen Fengxu.

Shen Cang asked Jiang Xuanyue if she wanted to write a letter to her family, but after Jiang Xuanyue was silent for a long time, she just said that there was no need.

She couldn't go back.

So there's no need for it.

During these days, Ruan Xiang took Li Jiancheng to meet many people, including his parents, children, and old departments.

But no one can untie Li Jiancheng's heart knot.

She felt that Li Jiancheng probably didn't want to die, even in his current form, he had to stay in this world.

Until that day, she met Wei Zheng.

He was Li Jiancheng's old ministry.

Most of Li Jiancheng's old troops were killed by Li Shimin on the day of the Xuanwumen Incident, and the remaining survivors also chose to follow Li Jiancheng, and only a few survived.

Wei Zheng is one.

But Wei Zheng is different from others, he has never compromised himself, even if he knew that Li Shimin might kill him at any time, he still straightened his back and criticized Li Shimin with righteous words.

Because this is the country left by Li Jiancheng.

The moment Wei Zheng saw Li Jiancheng, he had already knelt down and said tremblingly: "His Royal Highness the Crown Prince ......"

Li Jiancheng helped him up: "No need to be polite, not to mention that it is no longer a Tang Dynasty now." ”

Although Wei Zheng did not follow Li Jiancheng, his loyalty to Li Jiancheng has never been questioned.

As early as before the Xuanwumen Incident, Wei Zheng reminded Li Jiancheng many times to beware of Li Shimin, and if he couldn't bear to kill him, he should at least be transferred out of Chang'an.

Later, Li Jiancheng died, and Wei Zheng did not shy away from mentioning him in front of Li Shimin.

"I just want to ask you, do you know where the people of the world are now?"

Wei Zheng shook his head at first, but then said: "I only vaguely heard him mention that he was going to visit His Royal Highness the Prince." ”

Li Jiancheng smiled: "Okay, I know, you can go back." ”

Ruan Xiang sighed.

Wei Zheng is also a poor man.

He was originally the old department of the crown prince Li Jiancheng, but in the ninth year of Wude, Li Jiancheng died in Xuanwumen.

Later, he was the prince and the prince, and the prince was still the prince of the East Palace, but he was no longer Li Jiancheng, but Li Shimin's eldest son, Li Chengqian.

But also as the crown prince, Li Chengqian finally ended up in exile in Qianzhou and died of illness.

Looking at the back of Wei Zheng leaving, Ruan Xiang suddenly spoke: "Seeing Li Shimin, is it your obsession for 1,400 years?"

Li Jiancheng smiled: "You are wrong, not 1,400 years, but 1,391 years, three months and nine days." ”

Every day of the year, he remembers it clearly and unforgettablely, and the arrow that pierced his heart that day seems to be still in front of him today.

"You hate him?"

"Nope. Li Jiancheng shook his head, "He's a good king, but he's not a good boy, but despite this, he's still my younger brother." ”

It's complicated.

But Ruan Xiang was reluctant to delve into it.

......

I don't know how long it took.

It was winter, and Ruan Xiang learned of Jiang Ning's death.

Somehow, suddenly there was a sense of relief.

She sat on the sofa, looked at the photo with Tsing Yi, and suddenly said, "Throw it away." ”

"Huh?" Li Jiancheng raised his eyebrows.

Ruan Xiang asked Li Jiancheng to remind her early in the morning, but Li Jiancheng reminded her, but Ruan Xiang was reluctant to throw it away, but now he suddenly wanted to throw it away.

Without waiting for Li Jiancheng to ask, Ruan Xiang took the first step to pick up the photo and threw it into the trash, she threw it face down, so that she would not inadvertently see the photo later.

After throwing it away, Ruan Xiang suddenly felt uncomfortable in his heart, but if he didn't throw it, it would still be dull and unspeakable.

She didn't dare to think about it, but the memories kept flooding through her mind.

The most unwilling to remember, the most unforgettable.

After a long time, she collected her emotions a little, opened the group chat, and saw that they were about to play a game, so she joined in.

As soon as I entered, I heard the voice of milk tea: "Jiangyu, I beg you to delete the hero of the mouse from your computer." ”

"Wow, I'm so strong in the rat jungler. ”

"It's okay for you to go and lay the road, please don't jungle. ”

On the side, Bai Shui and the bottle cap were laughing.

Although Milk Tea and Jiangyu quarreled constantly, the relationship between the two seemed to be more and more stable, and it was no longer just friendship.

If they met, the two of them would have decided on their relationship, right?

Can......

There are some things that shouldn't be thought of that way.

......

Ruan Xiang thought that he was probably already well.

If not completely better, at least it is slowly getting better.

She hadn't cried or laughed in a long time.

Everything will be fine.

Right? Yes......

Ruan Xiang saw Luo Zhiheng again.

That should be the saddest time for Luo Zhiheng, she didn't know how to describe it appropriately, although Luo Zhiheng didn't cry, but there was pale and powerless despair between the lines.

His family was completely shattered.

Ruan Xiang couldn't say anything anymore, so he could only stretch out his hand to him.

She couldn't throw him down.

What's more, she also hopes that she can like Luo Zhiheng.

She wants to find the feeling she likes.

In this way, you may be able to survive in this world as a living person.

She wants to do it too.

She can do it too.

Is that right?

......

Li Jiancheng found that the puppets in the room had been thrown by Ruan Xiang at some point, not only the dolls, but also some other miscellaneous items.

She didn't like superfluous stuff more and more.

But there are some superfluous things that she always keeps, such as the extra clothes in the wardrobe, which clearly do not belong to her, but they always stay there.

Ruan Xiang tidied up a little, and then went out to meet netizens.

It was the first meeting of the five of them.

The first thing I saw was milk tea, and the two girls were chatting in the milk tea shop on the side, and it didn't take long for the other three boys to wait.

Ruan Xiang was a little confused, and didn't dare to talk to them, so he just sat next to Milk Tea, silent from beginning to end, listening to the gossip of the four of them.

She regretted it.

This kind of exchange made her a little overwhelmed.

Fortunately, Milk Tea held her hand and made her feel a little relieved, but she still didn't know how to do it to fit in.

It's so painful......

Even pain.

In the evening, I finally felt a sense of relief.

Because she can go home.

She didn't even dare to bring it up if she even went home......

Cowardly and powerless.

But when I got home, things turned out unexpectedly.

These friends she cherished so much, just today, at night, completely fell apart.

Because milk tea broke with anchovy.

Ruan Xiang didn't know the specific details, but he only knew that the two were arguing about various issues and insisted on their own words.

The subsequent process was nothing more than a wonderful war of words, but Ruan Xiang only cared about the final result.

The group was disbanded.

The people were scattered.

There's no going back.

Ruan Xiang seems to have lost something again,

In my heart, I was empty again.

......

That day, Li Jiancheng told Ruan Xiang,

He has already found Li Shimin.

"Are you leaving?" Ruan Xiang wanted to reach out and grab him, but he didn't dare to touch him, just looked at him.

The expression on Li Jiancheng's face was either a smile or a sigh, and he nodded: "Yes, but I won't go to the inner world." ”

“......？”

"Since you are already a dead person, what can you do when you go to the inner world, rather than live in another way, it is better to die completely. ”

No...... Don't leave me......

But Ruan Xiang could only spit out these words in the end: "...... How......?"

"If I could, I would like to be reduced to ashes, leaving no trace of existence, preferably, completely dying out of this world. Li Jiancheng smiled lightly.

Please...... At least stay with me.

Ruan Xiang couldn't speak, but nodded: "Okay." ”

"Also, I took your ancient sword with me. Li Jiancheng smiled, "You shouldn't be going to the world in the future, right?"

Leave me something too......

But Ruan Xiang still nodded: "Okay." ”

So Li Jiancheng picked up the ancient sword and walked out without looking back.

Looking at the back of Li Jiancheng leaving,

Ruan Xiang's eyes seemed to be covered with a thin veil,

I can't see anything clearly.

......

Ruan Xiang felt that he probably didn't have much to live.

Once upon a time, she had the illusion that she was already well, that she could play games with them warmly and happily, and that she could communicate and talk with people normally, but now she was not tormented by pain and lying down on the bed.

She forgot that the recurrence rate of depression is 80 percent.

It's too painful, it's too desperate.

She thought she had nothing to lose.

Probably someone looked at her experience, pointed to these things she once had, and said, look, there are still so many things that have not been lost, so it is better to disappear them all together.

Why......

Why me......

Why is this happening again......

I wish I could die like this.

......

Li Jiancheng has been gone for half a month.

Ruan Xiang felt as if he was dead, he couldn't find any meaning of existence at all, but he still didn't die.

The room was still empty, and there was no trace of Li Jiancheng's existence.

This time it's real...... Nothing.

Until I heard Li Chengming's voice by chance.

He asked, "Sister, why are you still here?" ”

Ruan Xiang looked at him, and then said softly:

"'Cause I'm not dead......"

"Isn't it easy to die?" the eight-year-old child looked at Ruan Xiang with wide eyes in confusion.

He didn't understand.

Ruan Xiang tilted his head and looked out the window.

There is a bright sun shining outside the window, but on a clear day, there is always a shadow that can never be avoided.

She opened her mouth:

"If I could, I would also like to be reduced to ashes and dissipated, I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid that after death, I will leave my traces in this world. ”

"So, let's just live like this for now. But if I do die one day, don't be surprised. ”

"I hope that when the day comes, all the memories of me will blow away in your heart, and then you will never be able to piece it together. ”

Like ashes.