Si Qi said: "Once Xiaojun was sick, spent all my money, and the director advanced my salary for half a year, so I barely paid off the medical bills, I really couldn't make up the rent, and my aunt made me owe seven months of rent, I was only a life teacher in the first two years of kindergarten, and I couldn't take classes, nor did I take interest classes, and I didn't dare to let me be responsible for the trusteeship, so my salary has been limited." ”

"It wasn't until one time the principal wanted to set up an instrument interest class, and I happened to be good at many instruments, that she asked me to start a small class. Si Qi sighed softly, "Since becoming a class teacher, my life with Xiaojun has really stabilized, now that I think about it, this house has carried too much of my past, to be honest, I am quite reluctant, and I am quite reluctant to the landlord and aunt, she is really good to me and Xiaojun." ”

Shi Jing is not good at comforting people, and when he heard this, he just walked over at a loss, patted her shoulder gently, and whispered: "You can visit her often in the future, it's all in the same community, it's very convenient." ”

Si Qi, who rarely recalls the past with others, laughed a little self-deprecatingly, "Now that I have a good life, I dare to recall the past, and I admire myself for being able to persevere at that time." ”

Shi Jing looked at her, in fact, she wanted to ask, you are so difficult, didn't you ask your parents for help? But this question is also too private, and she has already said it just now, there is no need to ask about those old things, so the words turned in his throat several times, and he swallowed them back.

Si Qi seemed to know what he was thinking, and took the initiative to say: "I used to do something wrong, which disappointed my parents, so I was not too embarrassed to ask them for help at the time, and always wanted to show them independently, it was really difficult at that time, every day I felt that life was worse than death, and I missed the childhood when I had a family to rely on, in fact, now that I think about it, it may not be a kind of grind, people always have to go through hardships to really grow." ”

She said as if nothing happened, as if she had really let go of the past, Shi Jing couldn't speak anymore, just held her hand and whispered: "I will take care of you in the future." ”

Si Qi pursed his lips and smiled, and pointed to the balcony with a wave of his big hand: "Then let's move things, I'm almost hungry, move home and eat." ”

Last time, when Si Xiaojun took it upon himself to hide from her, he had already moved the flowers that needed to be carefully cared for, and now only part of the green bonsai was left on the balcony, and the two of them were busy for less than half an hour, and they were basically all completed.

The day passed quickly, as if I had run to the kindergarten, and it was already twilight.

After dinner, Shi Jing frequently sat on the sofa silently, his face was tired, his eyes often stared at one place in a daze, his pupils were not as floating as before, but were frozen, and the later the time, the more lonely and indifferent his whole person became, looking sideways at the dark night outside the window, and did not move for half an hour.

Mo Wenlan said that the jumping incident he encountered yesterday had a very big impact on him, and it was normal for him to have these problems, Si Qi didn't dare to ask, after thinking about it, he used the excuse that he was too tired to move things and went back to the room after washing, and Shi Jing also went back to the room a few minutes later, after all, he was also sleepy from three o'clock in the morning to dawn.

According to what Mo Wenlan said, sleepwalking should be continuous, that is to say, tonight Shi Jing may still get up in the middle of the night, she has to look at him, thinking of those thrilling scenes last night, she has a thrilling emotion, Shi Jing couldn't get along with people before, even his parents rented a villa nearby, but Shi Jing's appearance is obviously not suitable for living alone, then his parents are probably struggling to take care of him until now.

She took a few books and put them at hand, looked through them absentmindedly, and finally stayed up until two o'clock in the morning, she put down the books, put on her clothes and shoes, and sat on the ground at the door with a blanket, only a door away, no matter how small the movement she could hear.

Sure enough, at three o'clock in the morning, there was a sound of the door opening next door.

Shi Jing, whose face was like ashes and his eyes were straight, walked barefoot onto the balcony, although there was no snow tonight, but the snow on the ground was quite thick, he stood barefoot for less than five minutes, the instep was frozen into blue and purple, goosebumps on his neck and chest rose layer after layer, dazed and lonely looking up at the night sky, the figure was slender and thin, Si Qi, who had undergone Mo Wenlan's short remote control training, held his breath and wrapped Shi Jing in his coat, and then pulled out the blade he hid between his fingers and threw it away, and then took Shi Jing's shoes and socks to put them on for him one by one.

This time she didn't dare to speak like yesterday, just whispered comfort, it took a long time to finally pull the person back to the room, sitting at the head of the bed and looking at the person who fell into a deep sleep in less than a few minutes was awakened by a nightmare, her eyebrows kept twitching, her handsome and fair cheeks were white and blue, her eyes opened silently, and big tears fell, and he cried silently and unconsciously for a long, long time.

This time even her comfort didn't work, she could only let him hold his hand, helpless and sad tears, his mouth kept murmuring, those whispers were mostly painful interrogations and confessions, he seemed to be trapped in some strange circle, both wanted to break free but felt that he deserved it, it looked very complicated.

After he fell asleep quietly again, she finally breathed a sigh of relief, and the heart hanging in her throat slowly fell back into her chest, she felt cold on her face, and when she reached out to wipe it, it turned out to be tears.

For two nights in a row, Shi Jing sleepwalked on the balcony on the third floor at about three o'clock in the morning, and then after being pulled back to the room by her, he would fall into a strange nightmare, his mouth often mentioned the jumping schoolgirl, and his tone was full of self-blame and helplessness, as if the death of the schoolgirl was caused by him, and she clearly felt his guilt and despair of carrying human life, like a huge cage, trapped him in it.

However, the female student who jumped off the building a few days ago has nothing to do with him, does that mean that someone once jumped off the building and made Shi Jing suffer from the so-called post-traumatic stress disorder?

So much so that after many years, he still can't forget the events of that year?

Looking at the sleeping man lying on the bed, Si Qi folded the quilt for him, took the spoon again, and fed him some hot water, then got up and squatted on the side of the bed and opened the cabinet under the desk next to him.

Shi Jing's usual medicine is placed here, and in the past few days, she will take advantage of Shi Jing's sleep to pour out the medicine and count the quantity, so as to judge whether he has taken the medicine on time.

The current medical community has no specific drugs for psychological diseases such as post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and social phobia, and Mo Wenlan prescribes him SSRls antidepressants, among which sertraline, paroxetine, fluoxetine and escitalopram are the main ones, I don't know why, Shi Jing took out all these drugs and put them in small black glass bottles, and he basically mixed several drugs together.

After sleepwalking on the first day, Shi Jing basically didn't take any medicine, but the next day I don't know if he noticed something, and actually took five fluoxetine, far exceeding the standard dosage introduced on the Internet, she told Mo Wenlan about it, but the other party was just silent for a long time, telling her to wait for him to come back.

And last night, Shi Jing took four more escitaloprams, almost more than twice the standard dosage, and he had no side effects of drowsiness at all, but the whole person was a little trance, he didn't like to talk much, he could sit still for four hours with a book, as if he could turn into a statue at any time, and he was a little absent-minded when he ate, and he didn't even notice that the food fell on the table, and he locked himself in the room after eating.

The only thing that makes people feel more comforting is that he does not reject her appearance, nor does he have any rejection of her, she can even go in and out of his room freely, if she goes to talk to him, he will also respond dryly, but basically loses the vitality of before, it is like turning off the five senses, the whole person is immersed in his own world, he will eat two bites when he pulls him to eat, and then continues to return to the room, close the curtains and turn off the light, and plunge himself into the dark to meditate.

At this time, Si Qi looked at the bottles of medicine in the palm of her hand, and then looked at Shi Jing, who was getting thinner and thinner in just three days, and she didn't know what to do in a daze, thinking about it, she couldn't figure it out, so she could only sit helplessly on the ground, hugging her knees in a daze, until it was almost dawn, she hurriedly packed up the medicine bottle and left Shi Jing's bedroom.

Shi Jing fell asleep and woke up at more than two o'clock in the afternoon, and Si Qi cooked black chicken soup, prawn risotto, garlic broccoli, mille-feuille, and fried pork from the farmhouse.

Shi Jing silently picked up the rice in his mouth, his eyes lowered, and fell on the dish in front of him.

Si Qi looked at him quietly, and asked with a smile, "Is the dish still to taste?"

Shi Jing's hand holding the rice bowl was slightly stagnant, he raised his eyes to look at her, didn't say anything, just silently ate all the dishes in the bowl, and then put down the dishes and chopsticks, and then fixed his eyes on her face again, his eyes didn't drift anymore, I don't know how long it took, he suddenly said: "Aren't you afraid?"

"Scared?" Si Qi chuckled in his heart, the smile on his face remained unchanged, and he only raised his eyebrows: "What are you afraid of?"

Shi Jing looked at her with a faint face, and there was an indescribable strangeness and alienation in his eyes: "Are you afraid of living under the same roof with a mentally ill person?"

Si Qi was dumbfounded.

Mo Wenlan's peacock didn't swear to tell him that he would have some slight memory confusion in the days after sleepwalking, and his increased dose of medicine would also make his thinking slow, why did he know everything, no wonder he was weird in the past two days, he didn't take the initiative to talk to her, he didn't even look at her, she thought it was a problem with the drug, and Shijing deliberately put on this attitude.

He thought she would be scared, so what did he want?

Want to scare her away with indifference? Don't want to bother her?

This person has really been away from the crowd for too long, and he thinks of people too simply.

"I'm a severe psychologist with PTSD, depression, anorexia, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social phobia is just the mildest of them. Shi Jing said in an extremely bland tone: "I will sleepwalk, self-harm, and hurt others, if I go to a psychiatric hospital, I will be directly listed as a serious patient, the ward will be monitored around the clock, and there must be an entourage when I go out, not to protect me, but to protect others." ”

Si Qi held the chopsticks and was silent for a moment, "It sounds terrifying." ”