When he saw Zhang Lin again, Lu Weibei was so surprised that he didn't say anything for a moment.

In just one day's work, he had lost the short-term preferential treatment of his illness. He looked very haggard, with black eyes and sunken eye sockets. Liu Qin's condition was even worse, and the whole person was curled up beside Zhang Lin's hospital bed, with red eyes.

The two were very surprised to see Lu Weibie, probably because they didn't expect to meet her again one day. But they received her politely anyway.

Lu Wei put the fruit he bought on the bedside table and sat down on the chair that Liu Qin had moved, "I tried to contact you last night, but I didn't expect it to be someone from the emergency department of the hospital who answered the phone. I'm not at ease, so I'm going to come and have a look today. ”

"It's not a big deal, it's a matter of time before you get this disease. Zhang Lin lay on the hospital bed, smiling weakly.

Liu Qin's tears came down in an uproar, but she quickly turned her head to wipe away her tears, and she didn't even let Zhang Lin notice the whole process.

"Actually, there's a reason why I contacted you before. I don't know if I'm right, but you don't seem to want to have surgery. Lu Wei didn't explain carefully.

When Zhang Lin heard this, he smiled as if he was very happy. "No wonder they say that you have to queue up to consult you, you are really a smart girl. ”

"However, there is no way to treat it without surgery. I know that surgery is risky...... However, if you don't take this risk, you won't have anything to gain...... In fact, compared to the mortal disease process, craniotomy is very risky, but it is also cost-effective. "If you're in the office, it's just a routine situation, it's not a big deal. But Lu Wei didn't chase after here, and if she said this again, it made her worry that she was spending unnecessary effort to change things that shouldn't be changed. This made her hesitate and stammer.

Zhang Lin didn't feel any abnormality in Lu Wei's other way, but just smiled and said, "What if the condition is worse if the operation is done?"

Lu Weibei didn't turn around for a while, "The situation is worse? You mean, I'm afraid I'll ...... on the operating table."

At this time, Liu Qin couldn't sit still anymore, and said in a thick nasal voice that she was going to pick up a glass of water for the guests, so she walked out quickly.

Zhang Lin watched his wife's back disappear behind the door. Although he still had a polite smile on his face, his eyes were not half happy.

Lu Wei, don't stare at him. She could feel the inconsistency between Zhang Lin and Liu Qin, one wanted to cry but didn't dare to cry, and the other was laughing but didn't want to laugh. She intuitively felt that this was due to the fact that the two were struggling with the despair of death and their reluctance to give up on each other. This made her even more incomprehensible why she was reluctant to give it a try if she was so reluctant to give it a try.

But she didn't dare ask. She knew that in terms of expectations, surgery would be better than rejection. Looking at Qin Li's tone yesterday, he also hoped that Zhang Lin would have surgery. But she would be afraid, maybe Zhang Lin was the small group of people who were less lucky, and if she spoke, she would let him die on the operating table.

Lu Wei didn't sit in place, feeling entangled. It's not to open your mouth, and it's not to open your mouth either.

And Zhang Lin is obviously much calmer. "Are you trying to ask me why I refuse to have surgery?"

"Hmm...... Uh......" She didn't expect Zhang Lin to suddenly hit a straight ball, nodded subconsciously, reacted and shook her head in a panic.

"If I were you, I'd find it weird, too. Zhang Lin was still smiling, "The tumor is small, the degree of malignancy is low, and it is not close to the artery, which is the good luck of one in a million gliomas." Why would anyone want to waste this good luck?"

"No, I don't think you're wasting, I'm just worried that you're blindly giving up treatment because you don't know about it, but I don't want to put pressure on you to have surgery, so I didn't think about how to express it. I don't think you're surprised that this kind of thing that everyone might make a different choice of, I understand. Lu Wei didn't explain in a hurry.

"Frontal lobes. My tumor is on the frontal lobe. Zhang Lin was still smiling, "There is no way to remove my tumor without damaging the frontal lobe." ”

These words were like a thunderbolt from the sky, tearing open the bloody wound behind Zhang Lin's numb smile. Lu Wei didn't open his mouth, but he didn't know what to say to comfort him.

The frontal lobe is an important area of the brain that controls human memory and personality. The damage to the frontal lobe can sometimes make people forget about the past, and even change their emotional personality drastically, becoming a completely different person. Many of these patients will become irritable and dirty. It's as if he is alive, but it is like another person is alive.

"But, you seem to be ......," Lu Wei muttered.

"You want to say that my personality doesn't seem to have changed much?" Zhang Lin was still smiling, "not all frontal lobe changes will be very obvious, making a gentle person become a madman." I've actually changed. My wife has been very sad during this time, and if it was before, I would have been sad and anxious because of her sadness, but I don't feel this emotion now. I knew she was crying, but I wasn't sad or anxious. ”

Lu Wei didn't look at him, he only felt that this gentle smile was so bitter that it would kill him.

"Your expression seems sad. From my past experience, I understand why you feel sad. But if it's me now, I can't understand you. Zhang Lin was still smiling, "I don't have the ability to empathize." ”

"I don't want me and the people around me to continue to go through this. He picked up the bedside cup, held it in his hand, and stared at the fluctuating liquid level in the cup, "What's more, it could have been worse if he had undergone surgery." ”

Lu Weibei couldn't help it, and asked him, "But your husband and wife have such a good relationship, and your wife should be sad if you leave like this, right?"

"But I'm gone. Zhang Lin was still smiling, "I'm just waiting, waiting for this body to leave." ”

Lu Weibei shuddered when she heard it, but Zhang Lin didn't realize it, "When the time comes, she will be sad for a while, and then she will slowly put her feelings for me into a small box and store them in the corner." Then, she will start her new life. She'll get better, she'll meet someone else to keep her company company, or something she'll want to pour out her affection to. But if I undergo surgery and survive as another personality, we will consume each other's feelings and energy in the torment of things and people, which is more terrible than death. ”

Lu Weibei felt that his emotions were about to derail, and he was depressed, staring at the ground with red eyes, not daring to raise his head.

Zhang Lin didn't feel any sadness at all, and recalled the past quite happily, "Do you know how the two of us got together?"

Lu Wei shook his head.

Zhang Lin then told Lu Wei about his and Liu Qin's past with a smile slowly, "I met Qin Qin when I was in college, and she didn't have a good time at that time, the family burden was very heavy, the person had to be strong, whether it was studying, student activities, she had to do everything well." The other classmates were very envious of her, but I always felt that she was so hard that she would fall down at any time. At that time, I chased her for a long time, but she never agreed, and every time she explained to me with a gentle smile that she was not ready to fall in love for the time being.

On that day, I remember very clearly that our school held a commendation meeting, and she won a scholarship again, and stood on the stage wearing a big red flower, smiling so gently and gently. After the meeting was dismissed, I met her in the gazebo, and she fell asleep against the pillar with a book in her hand.

I went around to the diner and bought two bottles of wine and came back to wait for her to wake up.

I waited for a long time, and I was almost able to memorize the paper in my hand after I turned it over and over again, and she slowly woke up.

She was amazed to see me. I smiled at her and shook the bottle, and she laughed too.

At that time, I was poor, and I didn't have much money for a month's allowance, and I couldn't afford to buy snacks. She didn't dislike it, opened the bottle and took a sip. We were there that day drinking together, and we sat in the pavilion, and we didn't speak, and we drank and drank, and she cried, and cried, and laughed, and laughed, and cried. I sat next to her, with red eyes.

It was that day that she decided to accept me. ”

It's really a good memory, Lu Weibei closed his eyes, imagining the young men and women crying and laughing in the pavilion when the spring flowers bloom.

It's a pity that the good things in the world are not strong, and the colored clouds are easy to disperse and the glass is brittle.

"Do you know why she agreed?" Zhang Lin said softly, "because I understand her." Others can only see her gentleness and generosity, happiness and relaxation, but I can see her struggling and dilemma. ”

Lu Weibei had a loud alarm bell in his head, raised his head suddenly, and looked at Zhang Lin with red eyes.

He still smiled so softly, "But I can't understand her anymore." So, I had to let her go. ”

In an instant, all of Zhang Lin's gentleness, all his smiles, and all his good memories turned into knives and poked at him, and the pain was so painful that people couldn't breathe. Lu Weibei lowered his head and watched as tears fell to the ground in large drops.

I see. No wonder Liu Qin loves to cry so much.

It hurts.

Zhang Lin didn't feel any pain at all, and still smiled, "Fortunately, I have this disease." You see, I'm saying such sad things, but I don't feel sad at all. ”

Lu Weibei lowered his head and was silent.

"Can I trouble you with something?" Zhang Lin asked.

"Of course you can, what's the matter?" Lu Wei didn't look up, trying to squeeze out a smile.

"My wife has been out for a long time, can you help me find her? I'm afraid she's too upset and will have problems. Zhang Lin's tone was still so calm and gentle, and there was no panic at all.

"Okay, I'll go, you wait a minute. Lu Weibei nodded indiscriminately.

"Thank you. ”

Lu Wei didn't smile at him, and left the ward as if he was running away.

She once thought that Zhang Lin was lucky, his condition was much better than most patients with glioma, he had more treatment options to choose from, and he probably had a better prognosis than others. But it turned out that life had never been kind to him.

She looked all the way to find the past, and the dimly lit hospital corridors were crowded with ashen or grief-stricken faces, and her ears were filled with the sound of hurried footsteps, the shrill sirens of machines, and the deafening cries.

She suddenly felt out of breath.

It turns out that life has never been kind to anyone.