The Mystery of Love (Foreign Short Love), translated by Zhang Bao, 2017.9.12

She was still very young, less than twenty-two years old, and her first child was just six months old. It's all in the past, and now it's hard for me to be sure what's so special about her, there's so much about her that fascinates me. At the time, at dinner, I totally understood. I saw a young, beautiful, good, intelligent and fascinating woman. I have never seen a woman like this, she made me feel déjà vu, as if it were that face, that intimacy, those deep and bright eyes, these are like in the vague memories of my childhood, in the photo album in my mother's closet.

"The four Jews were accused of arsonists, accused of being a gang of robbers, but in my opinion, they were baseless. I was so excited and uncomfortable at dinner, I don't know what I had said, but Anna Alekevina shook her head and asked her husband:

"'Dmitry, what's going on?'

"Lugnovich was a kind man, a simple and kind man who resolutely defended his point of view, and who always insisted that once a person is accused of a crime in court, any suspicion of his guilt must be pointed out on the basis of the letter of the law, and not on the basis of private conversations of people over meals.

"You and I didn't set the fire," he whispered, "and you see we haven't been convicted or jailed." ”

Both of them tried to get me to eat and drink as much as they could. For example, from the trivial details, from the way they make coffee together, from the way they understand each other through a word and a half, I can tell that they live well and comfortably, and they are happy to have guests visiting. After dinner, they played a piece on the piano, and then it got dark and I went home. It was the beginning of the spring of the year.

"After that, I was busy all summer in Safino, without a little rest, I didn't even have time to think about going into the city, but the elegant blonde woman was always in my heart, I didn't think about her, but her lithe figure seemed to lie in my heart all the time.

In late autumn, a theatrical performance is held in the city for charity. I was invited into the mayor's box. Moreover, I saw Anna Alekevina in the box, who was sitting next to the mayor's wife. She was still so young and beautiful, kind and soft, with loving warmth in her eyes, and the same exciting and irresistible impression as I had when I first met her. We sat side by side and went to the lounge.

'You're a little thin,' she said, "are you sick?"

"Yes, I have rheumatism in my shoulders, and in rainy weather, I can't sleep in pain. ”

"You look depressed. In the spring, when you come to eat, you appear younger and more confident. You're full of longing, and then you talk a lot, you're funny, and I really have to admit that I'm kind of carried away by you. For some reason, you were always in my memory all summer, and I thought I should be able to meet you when I was ready to come to the theater today. She smiled.

"But today you look depressed," she added, "and it will make you look a little old." ”

"The next day I had lunch at Lugonovich's house. After lunch, they drove to the summer cottage in order to spend the winter there, and I went with them. I went back to the city with them, and at midnight I drank tea with them in the quiet of our home, the fire was on, and the young mother kept looking at her little daughter, who had fallen asleep.

After that, every time I went into town, I would visit the Lugnovichs. They slowly got used to me, and I slowly got used to them. Generally speaking, I come out of nowhere without notice, as if I am part of their family.

"Who's there?" I heard a slow voice coming from a room far away, and it was very pleasant and wonderful to me.

"That's Pavel Konstantinovich. The maid or nanny replied.

"Every time, Anna Alikevina would look at me with a concerned look on her face, 'Why haven't you been seen for so long?'

"Her eyes, her graceful and delicate hand reaching out to me, her interior clothes, her hairstyle, her voice, her footsteps, always give that same new and extraordinary impression to my life, and very important. We talked together for hours, and then in silence we thought about the thoughts in our hearts, or she sat at the piano and played for me for hours. If they happen to be away from home when I come, I stay and wait, play with the babysitter and the children, or lie on the sofa in the study and read, and when Anna Alikjevina comes back, I come to see her in the hall and take all the packages from her hand, because I feel that the more things I help her with, the more love I feel from her.

"There is a proverb that says that if a peasant woman is not troublesome, she will buy herself a pig. Mr. and Mrs. Lugonovich didn't bother, so they were willing to make friends with me. If I don't come to the city, they think I must be sick or something's going on, and they're very worried and anxious. They were afraid that I, a man with language knowledge and education, should not dedicate myself to science or literature, and live in the country, running around like an angry squirrel, working hard and not earning a penny. They thought I wasn't happy, I just talked, laughed, ate to hide my pain, and even in happy moments when I was happy, I realized that their eyes were on me. They are especially moved when I'm genuinely frustrated, especially when I'm worried by some creditors or don't have enough money to pay interest on a proper day. The two of them would whisper by the window, and then he would come up to me and say solemnly, "If you really need money at that moment, Pavel Konstantinovich, my wife and I beg you not to be embarrassed to open your mouth to borrow from us." ”

His face was swollen and red because of his emotional impulses. When he whispered in front of the window in the same way, he would come up to me with a red face and say, "My wife and I sincerely ask you to accept these gifts. ”

He would give me some studs, cigars or lamps, and I would give them some game, butter and flowers that I had brought from the countryside. They all express their meaning in this way. I used to borrow money from other people, and I could borrow money from anyone in the world if it wasn't for special circumstances, but I would never borrow money from Mr. and Mrs. Luganovich. So, I don't want to talk to them about borrowing money.

"Because I was always thinking about Anna Alexevina, I was not happy at all, whether at home, in the fields, or in the barn. I always wonder why a young, beautiful, intelligent and lovely woman would marry a boring, almost old man (with a husband over forty) and have children with him, and wonder why this boring, good-natured, simple-hearted man would argue with others with such tired comforts. Those looks listless, superfluous, deferential, uninterested expressions, like he was taken there to be sold, who still believes that he has the right to be happy? and have children with her. I've always tried to figure out why she met him first and not me, and why such a horrible event happened in our lives.