The Mystery of Love (Foreign Short Love), translated by Zhang Bao, 2017.9.12

When I went to town, I saw her waiting for me every time I saw her in her eyes, and that day, she told me very confidently that she had a strange feeling and she guessed that I would come. We talked for a long time, sometimes silent and contemplative, but neither of us would admit that we had fallen in love, because it was timidity that hid our feelings.

We are afraid that the secret in our hearts will be guessed by the other party. I was loving her tenderly and affectionately, but I was also constantly asking myself where our love would lead if we didn't have enough strength to resist? Will it be glorious to do so? She will go with me, but where can I go? Where can I take her? It will be a different question, if I have a beautiful and interesting life, if, for example, I have been working for the liberation of my country, or if I have become a famous scientist, artist or painter, it is very worthwhile and worthwhile. However, I am only taking her from the monotony of everyday life to another monotonous, perhaps better, life. How long will our happiness last? What will happen to her if I get sick, if I die, or if we just don't care to each other?

"Reasoning in the same way, she will think of her husband, her children and her mother, who she loves like a son. If she indulges in her feelings, she has to lie, or tell the truth. It would put her in a dilemma. She will be troubled by these troubled problems, and although her love will bring me happiness, it will also make my life complicated from now on, which means that it will add a lot of trouble to my life and make it more difficult. She used to tell her husband that it was important for me to marry a smart and capable girl, who could take care of the household for me and help me in my career. But she immediately added that such a girl would be difficult to find even if she searched all over the city.

The years went by, and Anna Alex had two children. When I arrived at Lugnovich's house, the servant smiled kindly at me. The children shouted that Uncle Pavel Konstantinovich was coming. They put their arms around my neck and looked unusually excited. They didn't know what was going on in my mind and thought I was happy too. Everyone saw me as a noble person. Both adults and children felt that a noble person had come to their home. This attitude of theirs gives me a special charm. Moreover, in my eyes, their lives also make me feel more pure and beautiful.

Anna Alex Yevina and I often go to the theater together, we always walk. We sat side by side in the front seats, shoulder to shoulder. I would take the binoculars from her without saying a word, feeling that at that moment she was by my side, that she belonged to me, that we could not be separated from each other. But to avoid some strange misunderstandings, when we walk out of the theater, we always have to say goodbye, and then be like two strangers who don't know each other. God knows what the people in the city will say to us, but we just don't have a superfluous word.

In the years that followed, Anna Alekevit often visited her mother or sister, and her mood was gloomy and depressed.

She had realized that her life was a bit chaotic and unsatisfying. Sometimes, she doesn't want to see her husband and children. She is undergoing treatment for neurasthenia.

"We can only remain silent for the sake of silence, and she shows a strange irritation at me in the presence of outsiders, and she disagrees with whatever I say, and if I argue with others, she is on my opponent's side. If I dropped something, she would coldly say, "You deserve it." If we went to the theater and forgot to bring the opera mug, she would say afterwards, "I know you'll forget." ”

"Whether it's lucky or unlucky, it doesn't seem to matter to our lives, because sooner or later our relationship is going to end. The time of parting has finally come. Luganovich was appointed governor of a western province. They had to sell their furniture, horses and winter cottages. Everyone was sad when they drove to the villa and when they left looking back at the garden and the green roofs for one last look, I realized that it was time for me to say goodbye to this villa too. I was scheduled to send Anna Alikevina to the Crimea at the end of August, and the doctor was to send her there for treatment. After that, Luganovic and the children had to leave for the western provinces.

There were so many people seeing off Anna Alekevina that when she said goodbye to her husband and children, it was only a minute before the third bell rang. I ran into her compartment and put a basket on the luggage rack that I had almost forgotten, and I had to say goodbye. When we looked at each other in the cubicle, our sanity was completely gone. I took her in my arms, and she pressed her face to my chest, tears streaming down her eyes. I couldn't help kissing her face and her shoulder, her hands were wet with tears, oh, how sad and sad we were! I realized how hypocritical and heartless everything that prevents us from loving each other. ”

"I understand, of course, that when you love someone, you have to discern from the very beginning what is the highest state of love, and more importantly what makes you happy and unhappy, and to distinguish from the definition of public order and good morals what is evil and what is virtuous, otherwise you don't have to reason about it at all. ”

"I kissed her one last time, held her hand tightly, and then parted forever. The train has already left. I got into the next carriage, which was empty, until I got to the next station, where I sat and cried. Then I walked back to Safino. ”

By the time Alessin finished telling his story, the rain had stopped and the sun had come out. Boutin and Ivan Ivanovich went to the balcony. From there there is a beautiful view of the garden and the mill pond, which at the moment sparkles like a mirror in the sun. While admiring the scenery in front of them, they sighed at this kind man with a wise eye. He told them this story with the true feelings of the world. His kindness and sincerity will make his life even happier.

They wondered how sad she would be when he kissed Anna Alekevina's face and shoulder in the train car as he said goodbye to her. Both of them had seen Anna Alecevina in the city, and Burting knew her and knew her very pretty.