For dreams, ah, what was my original dream?

In just a few seconds, I pondered for a long time, and only one sentence came out of my head, 'For dreams, loyalty is not absolute is absolute disloyalty, and incomplete implementation is complete non-implementation. ’

This is a sentence borrowed from a Tsinghua student when the school invited someone to give a speech in the third year of high school. I copied it down as a motivating word for myself, read it every day, and then dying.

At that time, the only thing that came to mind was that Lu Xiangnan applied for the Z University, so I would go too. That's my dream.

For the first time in my eyes, there was a glimmer of light in my eyes on such a thing: I studied hard and studied hard for the remaining 171 days, sleeping only five minutes during my lunch break every day, staying up until 1 a.m. at night, and not daring to relax in the slightest degree in all my classes during the day, even if I hated them.

But so what? In the end, I tried my best, but I still didn't make the list. I'm not doing my best for myself, I'm trying my best for others, so I'm not trying my best.

There are some things in this world that you can't get by working hard, and sometimes even if you try your best, you can't miss it.

The shopkeeper's question just now stumped me. When I was in elementary school, I was looking forward to getting a good junior high school, and I wanted to go to a key high school in junior high school...... What is it after college? Getting a good job?

Is that really what I want to do, or can I call that kind of thing a dream?

If that's my dream, it's boring. It's not that I want to be different, I want to take a different path from others, it's that kind of dream, I don't have a soul.

"Leave me a contact information?" the shopkeeper next to me interjected in an inquiring tone, and I didn't think about the headache again.

"I think your taste is also quite niche, and I can tell that the song just now is a thousand-year-old girl. Yuri. ”

I smiled awkwardly, "Can I say I'm not a picky eater, I see everything and listen to everything?"

"Haha, write here?" he handed over the paper. Zhao Meimei, who was on the side, sat up suddenly, snatched the pen in my hand, and wrote a series of phone numbers neatly.

"Pick up a conversation? I'll do it too. ”

The two of us looked at her speechless in surprise, the atmosphere was a little weird, but Zhao Meimei lay on the table like no one else and continued to pretend to be asleep.

Finally, he recommended a taboo-level manga to me, "Legend of Sword Wind".

He said: "There are also depictions of dreams in it, which are very real and ironic, you can try it, but the taste is heavier." ”

After saying that, he was called away by the clerk, and I emphasized again to his back: "I'm not a picky eater!"

"よく食事をする" (Good meal)

I understand this, he's quite funny.

"Meimei, get up, the dishes are cold!" I rubbed Zhao Meimei's elbow, and she said in a muffled voice, "I only eat sashimi......"

"Actually!" she sat up again, "I want to cry, but I can't." ”

"Why? Because of your boyfriend?"

"Probably...... But it doesn't seem to be. I didn't like him very much. I just don't want to be dumped, no matter what, I dump him, what kind of onion is he, dare to humiliate me like that......"

I don't understand, why should we be together if I don't like it?

"Isn't it better to be separated? You don't like him. ”

"If only it were like that. ”

"I won't say anything. He took a sip of water, gagged himself, and then added to her: "I'm afraid that you will say that I don't have back pain when I stand and talk." ”

"Straight daughter, if you comfort and comfort me, I will die!"

She started crying, but not really, like she was joking. I was confused by her nonsensical reaction, and in desperation, I handed her a piece of paper, "Don't cry, it's so boring to hang yourself from a tree." ”

It doesn't sound like what I said, after all, I'm one of those people who hangs themselves from a tree......

"Bang-" She and I looked out at the same time, and a colorful light exploded in the sky by the river. Someone is setting off fireworks.

It's not often a few times a year like this. Of course, there is no hope for more strange things.

Occasionally, it's kind of surprising to appear once or twice.

We ran to the river.

The light from the rising fireworks temporarily obscured the stars, and the flickering bouquets of flowers quickly spread out along the center, and in the blink of an eye, the fireworks that had been printed in the long night began to dissipate little by little.

"Is it beautiful?" asked Zhao Meimei, turning her head

"Beautiful. ”

It's beautiful, but it's fleeting.

"Su Ke, I sometimes wonder if I could soften a little bit, wouldn't I be dumped. ”

“…… Why do you suddenly say this again?"

"I've always wanted to say, I'm going to suffocate. ”

"He doesn't like you, you say it yourself. ”

I already knew the answer to this question, didn't I soften it......

"You're a straight girl. "She 'complimented' me so much, she raised her head and sobbed to the sky. She is a proud person who does not want to cry in front of others. But she's not the same as me, she's strong, I'm not. I just don't want to lose face, I don't want to be scolded for crying, maybe this is also a conditioned reflex that I was used to being scolded when I was a child.

Luckily, the fireworks were loud enough to drown out her cries.

It wasn't just her cry that was obliterated, but also my self-righteous beginning.

I saw Zhao Yilun, ...... with another woman

You see, I can't talk anymore, I feel ashamed, I feel ashamed of everything......

I even ran over to confirm that it was him or not, just to comfort myself. I've been known for my eyesight since elementary school, and I didn't disappoint this time.

I saw him, kissing another woman.

A lot of matching. Those three words popped up in my mind. The palms of my hands were sweating all the time, and my fingers and palms were white. So I prayed to let them rot, and prayed to give me a cone of pain.

Only when it hurts like this, I won't pay attention to him, what he's doing, who he's with. Only then can I feel less ashamed for the time being.

This grievance was self-inflicted, if I hadn't been so pestering him at the beginning, if I hadn't believed in the beginning......

Strangely, I didn't want to cry at all, but I felt numb all over my body, and my feet felt like they were stuck to the ground, and I couldn't break free from them even if I tried to feed.

I can pretend I don't know anything when I haven't seen it, no matter how humble I am, I can say anything, I can do anything, as long as he stays. What should I do?

I wish someone would shout my name now and let him hear, I'm here, I'm still here, I still like him......

Let me hear that I still like him.