There's a word for running away.

That's right, when I was watching fireworks by the river with Zhao Meimei that night, I escaped.

I wonder if that's a form of cowardice. Usually when watching TV dramas and encountering this kind of bridge, according to the usual practice, women should go up and question Sapo, but I ran away so unproductively. When I go to him, what should I ask, why are you with someone else, or why don't you like me? Either of these arguments is more difficult for me to accept than if I ran away.

I've always known that he never really accepted me. And I didn't really accept him. Even at the end of us, I still want to pretend to be a generous person, and I want to let him go.

Then I instilled poisonous chicken soup in myself, life is not easy, you don't love yourself who loves yourself. Laugh more, Suke, you're the best......

Ah, this chicken soup is so poisonous that I feel sick myself, and most of the people who can say such things to disgust themselves at the trough of their emotions are insane. I'd rather be a psychotic than face reality, hoping that this damn reality will be like an ice cube, let me leave it for two days, maybe when I have the courage to face it, it will only be scum on its own.

Neuropathy should have a neurotic style, and sadness and happiness are a good choice. So, at night, I shrunk on the sofa and rummaged through the funniest TV series and the most nonsensical movies in my memory, and laughed alone in the middle of the night.

There's another world on TV, and if you're immersed in it, you don't want to pull it out. They were all laughing, how could they laugh so loudly, what was there to be happy about?

The phone rang for a long time, and I pretended not to hear it. If he called...... It's crazy, it's come to this point, I'm still expecting Zhao Yilun to call me.

Then just turn it off, and you won't hear anything when you turn it off. Turn it off, and you can't hear him. Hold your breath to get the phone, hesitate or unlock it, missed the call 16, Zhao Meimei.

I'm cheap.

Dialing back, Zhao Meimei's drunken voice flickered through the microphone, "Su Ke, why did you leave without even saying hello?"

"I wanted to watch a comedy, and I came back when I was crazy about it. ”

"See what?"

"Dragon Gate Bogart, Bean, Big Bo

G, I want to see anything funny. ”

She scoffed, "Neurotic." ”

"Hey, Meimei, you say, why do you want to laugh when you watch a comedy?"

"You're sick!" she scolded again, asking, "What's wrong with you?"

"I want to marry him. "The sound of the TV is surprisingly loud, I may have been affected by the show, and somehow I popped up with such a sentence.

"Who?"

"I dumped Zhao Yilun. ”

"Wait! What are you talking about?"

"Don't you hear it all clearly? I really don't know what's wrong with people, and it's also played in the TV series, so I have to ask it again when I hear it clearly. ”

"Isn't this to show that I'm surprised?"

I shouldn't have called her back, and if I had continued to watch comedy, I would still be laughing, but now, I'm crying.

"You dumped him, why do you still want to marry him?"

"Shouldn't we get married when we're together?"

She didn't speak, and I heard a long whistle on the other end of the phone, and the sound of fireworks exploding. Zhao Yilun, are you still there?

"That's in fairy tales. She reminded me in a drunken voice.

Before she could finish speaking, I cut off the phone and continued to bask in the joy of my own making. The next few films were all disappointing, the barrage area was about to explode, but I couldn't get any laughs at all. It was not easy to get into the state, and I was not so sleepy that I could fall asleep as soon as I lay down. In order to grasp this twisted joy, I began to frantically rummage through the funniest fragments of my memory.

I still remember when I was in junior high school, my English teacher made a big fuss about Bollywood, and I was one of the stupidest people in the class to laugh. Click on it, and I can't understand it, what's so funny? Why did you laugh so happily at that time?

After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that it wasn't that they weren't funny, it was that I didn't want to laugh.

If I were to keep a diary, I don't know whether to scold myself for being too humble or praise myself for being strong even so. However, I didn't have time to write such a sad and sensational word, and Zhao Yilun came back.

There was no air conditioning in the house, so I pulled the blanket over my head and covered it tightly. The TV continued to play the Three Fools Bulllywood, the English version, and the curry-flavored kind of English. I tried to divert my attention and listened to their conversation diligently, immersed in the plot.

I thought the TV was loud enough, but I could still catch his voice from it.

"Is it hot?"

Pretend to be asleep.

"Expose your head, how did you fall asleep in such heat?"

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He lifted the blanket, fine beads of sweat flowed into the corners of his eyes, and his spicy eyes hurt. All I had to do was have thorns on my back, and I literally lay in the corner like a hedgehog curled up and pretended to be dead.

"Get up, go back to sleep, it's too small. "His hands around my waist and his disguise were completely broken.

"Let go of me, hot. ”

"You're still so thick when it's hot?"

"Where are you going...... Forget it, it's fine. I muttered quietly.

I wanted to know the answer, but I didn't dare to ask any further. I'm afraid he'll lie to me, and I'm afraid he'll tell me the truth. Either way, I can't accept it.

"So much sweat ......" he pinched a tissue to wipe my sweat, very carefully and gently. I wondered if he was doing the same to that person.

"Was this freshly drawn?" he asked, pointing to the two illustrations on the table, taking them over and examining them carefully.

"I'm idle and have nothing to do. ”

"It's pretty good. ”

"Blind drawing, you know I haven't learned. ”

"Really, I don't kid you, it's pretty good. ”

It's pretty good...... A simple four-word compliment, without any flowery rhetoric, I was shaken.

I was going to say, let's break up. This is a line that has been prepared and rehearsed countless times in my mind. For a split second, I forgot the words.

No, it's not that I forgot the words. It's that I don't want to say it. I don't want to be a generous person, at this moment I should stick to him like a piece of kraft candy, knowing that there is no point, I still want to stay where there is him.

He was looking at me, as if he was looking for something different in my eyes.

Whether it's a painting or a ...... Zhao Yilun, who are you looking at through my eyes?

He was so close to me that a steady stream of hot air sprayed in, and his hair was soaked with dense sweat.

I remember that there is a sentence that is appropriate to describe me at this moment. I always give the most complete love to the people I have abandoned me.