Also known as "Marriage is the Grave of Love" Zhang Baotong 2016.7.4

Abelard was a theology teacher, and before that, his life and career had been smooth sailing and very proud. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 However, this catastrophe ruined him and completely ruined his life and future. Because he was no longer an able-bodied man, his career in the church was completely over, and he lost the protection of the church. He kept crying out in his heart, "What path is opening to me?, when all the fingers are pointing at me with contempt, when all the tongues are blistering with the shame of counting me, when I see that all the eyes that look at me are facing a terrible monster? Can I still lift my head up in front of men?"

Abelard believed that this punishment was given by God as a punishment for the blasphemy committed by both of them. Eloise may no longer believe in God, but he worships God even more. What may be more fatal to him than a fatal physical disability is that he is trapped in a deep sense of guilt. He believed that the mutilation of the body of the crime was a just punishment for his fault. He began to pursue with all his heart and soul to dedicate himself to God. This seems to be a common choice among people who have suffered misfortune.

He was reminded of the terrible text of the law, "God does not want to see the bodies of men mutilated, so he thinks that such abominable eunuchs should not enter the church, and that they are even filthy and filthy." "Yes, even a beast in distress would not have suffered such a tragedy. Therefore, in the book of Leviticus it is written, "Do not offer a stone to the Lord, for it will hit him or hurt him." And in the book of Natal Statement, it is said, "He was stoned, or some of his members of the Privy Council were stoned, and they could no longer enter the Council of Jehovah." According to this biblical interpretation, no one who is physically disabled is allowed to enter the church.

Sadly, if he had sinned and not been disabled, God might have come to his rescue. For God has saved many who have sinned. One of these stories is God's deliverance of a woman who committed adultery. There were many stones in the mountains of Pakistan, so Moses' law stated that anyone who sinned should be stoned to death. When Jesus went to the Mount of Olives that day and returned to the temple early in the morning, the scribes and Pharisees brought him a woman who had been caught in adultery and said to him, "Holy man, this woman was taken while she was committing adultery." Moses commanded us in the Law that such a woman must be stoned to death. What do you say you should do to her?" they said this to test Jesus and to get a way to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with his fingers. When they kept asking, Jesus straightened up and said to them, "Whoever is without sin among you may stone her." "And they fixed their eyes on the woman, and they saw only her sin, not thinking that they themselves were sinners. Jesus' silence gave them an opportunity to reflect on themselves, but they did not repent, so Jesus said, "Whoever is without sin among you will be the first to stone her." When they heard this, they went out one by one, from the oldest to the youngest, until Jesus was the only one left, and the woman was still standing in the middle of the temple. Jesus straightened up and said to her, "Woman, where have all those people gone? Jesus said, "I will condemn you neither will, but go! ”

How generous is the Lord, who can tolerate sinful, but not physically handicapped. Maybe it's a person who has sinned and can repent. And the body is disabled, but it cannot be recovered. Therefore, a physically disabled person is more miserable and desperate than a sinful person. Yes, it was pitch black in front of his eyes, and he couldn't see a single light.

Except for himself, what he thinks about the most is the young and beautiful talented woman in front of him. She was his lover and wife, the only woman he had ever been in love with in his life. They had been together for eighteen months of sweetness, but this catastrophe was the permanent end to their love.

Therefore, he sees her as a sinful lover, and Elois is guilty, but after all, she is his favorite, so she can't abandon her. For him, the best relief and salvation is to be able to serve God and ask for forgiveness from the Lord instead of falling into purgatory and being burned at the stake for a thousand years. Modern people may not be able to comprehend the depth of the medieval obsession with heaven and hell, a time when people were born to prepare for death. The very good will go to heaven, most will go to hell to be tortured, and those who blaspheme and other things that are not tolerated by the laws of the world will go to purgatory.

And he wanted not only to redeem himself, but also to redeem the more sinful individual, so he said to her, "We must not fall into purgatory under any circumstances!" This was not child's play, but a decision he had made after much pain and deliberation, including their son. The sons of two sinful men must also be guilty.

He confessed that he had an unforgettable affection and lust for this beautiful young woman, and that he had longed for some indulgence in her, and that he had taken a backward and evasive attitude in his relations with her, but now he had been severely punished. This sudden catastrophe caused him to suffer an unprecedented fatal blow, which made his weather-beaten soul broken, and he could not do anything for the rest of his life except to sincerely repent to the Lord, so he could only be cold and ruthless, cut off earthly feelings with her, obtain peace of mind, and reduce her suffering.

Thinking of this, he took her hand, shed tears of guilt, and said bitterly, "Eloise, my lover and wife, I am already a wreck. Couldn't do anything more for you. So, I want you to leave me and sincerely serve God in the monastery, giving your whole body and mind to the Lord Almighty. ”

Hearing this, Eloise immediately replied, "Abelard, my lover and husband, please do not send me to the monastery, where life is terrible to me like a hideous devil, and lonely like a gloomy ghost. She held his face in both hands and pleaded earnestly, "Please don't send me to the monastery, I would rather serve by your side forever than enter that terrible monastery." ”

However, her lover and husband pushed away her hand and lay down peacefully on the bed, their eyes staring straight at the ceiling, and said in a cold but resolute tone, "We can't be together again, my heart is dead." I can't be of any use other than sincere repentance and apology to God. So, you have to stay in the monastery until the end of your life. And your uncle has already been sentenced to life banishment, and he can't take care of you anymore. ”

Hearing this, Eloise began to weep in despair, and now she no longer believed in God at all, for God could not save her, nor could save anyone. She remembered what she had said to Abelard that night at the Rose Manor, "Please don't take me back to Paris, it will ruin us together." Now that prophecy has been fulfilled. She was going to spend her time in a hellish monastery, but for the rest of her life. How could she not be sad and grieved, not sad and despairing!

However, she endured the sorrow in her heart, buried her face beside his, and said in an oath-like tone, "I am your lover and wife, and I listen to you." As long as it can reduce your pain, I am willing to do anything for you, to make any sacrifices. She was like that, and her obedience to her husband made her seem to think less about her fate.

Hearing this, Abelard seemed to be a little surprised and moved, he sat up from the bed, took her into his arms, and said to her with infinite sadness, "I can't help it, I have already thought that after sending you to the monastery, I will also enter the monastery to meditate." I will remain incognito, put aside some desires, practice all my life, sincerely believe in God, and repent of my sins in the past."

Speaking of sadness, the two hugged each other and cried loudly. Eloise asked repeatedly, "Why didn't you listen to me in the first place?"

Abelard was ashamed of himself, but he could only be ashamed of himself except for shame.