The dreams I had when I was a child were always adventurous. There was everything in the dream, no dragons with tails, skinned zombies, and skeletons crawling out of graves. As if I were inherently immune to this mess, I was rarely frightened, but instead felt that everything I saw in my dreams was new. Until now, there are only scattered memories left in the dream, most of which are after the age of five, and there is no impression before the age of five.

In my dream, I squatted on the ground and painted, muttering: "Watermelon, strawberry, white rabbit toffee, mung bean soup." ”

"Wake up!"

"Wake up!"

Someone was shouting at me, reluctantly, but my body was shaking so badly that I had to wake up from it.

When I opened my eyes, I had a splitting headache, and the ceiling in front of me was spinning. My dad used to brag about how he used his wine to conquer people, and although it wasn't a good habit, I didn't inherit it.

Last night, how did you get back...... Turning over, the silhouette of the man sitting in the chair was blurry, but I could recognize it.

It's really strange, we haven't known each other for long, why, I'm so sure that it must be Zhao Yilun sitting opposite?

But he sat there, and the most striking thing on his face was a slight frown. I just looked at him like that, without saying a word.

His hand reached out, and his fingertips landed between my eyebrows.

"Did you just have a nightmare?

"How do you know I'm dreaming of eating?" I looked at the half of his exposed arm, did the spots disappear?

His fingers ran across my eyebrows, leaned forward slightly, and whispered, "You just talked in your sleep, watermelon, strawberries, white rabbit toffee, and mung bean soup." Said more than once. ”

"It's not food, I dreamed that when I was a child, I was squatting on the ground and drawing, and there was a child next to me who was underbeaten, so I had to draw stars for him. ”

"Did you draw it?"

I pressed my aching head, "Well, it looks like it's been drawn, and I poked it with a stick." ”

"When I was a child, I seemed to have met a little girl who was squatting on the ground and drawing, and asked her to draw stars for me, and I remember that she even pushed me there. ”

"That'...... She's pretty fierce. ”

Those words that were said last night...... We can still make small talk like we did before. The difference is that the taste has changed, and there is a slight hint of awkward ingredients in it.

"You say," he leaned closer, "did we meet when we were kids?"

"No, I don't remember you. "I deliberately distanced myself from him. What he said yesterday makes it impossible for me not to mind.

His fingertips rubbed between my brows repeatedly, and he said helplessly, "Don't frown anymore." It's like I'm bullying you. ”

I was a little angry, and my tone was naturally not much better, so I said without thinking about it: "Yes, you just bullied me." ”

"Last night...... What do you mean by what you say. I sat up and waited for his answer.

He looked the same way he did yesterday. It's the same, I can't understand the eyes. There was a look in my eyes full of vigilance, and I tried to find the slightest place to break through, but to no avail.

"We," he said, taking his hand back, and said calmly, "I mean I, when I was 16 years old, met a man in Zurich, who, like me, couldn't get out of the night. The dean said he was not mentally normal, and in fact, I did see him running in the scorching sun, and when he came back, he looked disgusting even to me. It's really disgusting, and every time I eat, I always think about what he was like that day. ”

He pursed his lips, paused, and continued, "The man said that sooner or later I would become like him. I also felt that I had a lot of imagination at that time, when I brushed my teeth in the morning, when I took a shower in the evening, I made up my mind in the mirror, and if porphyria really reached the point of no cure, what would I look like to disgust others. ”

At that time, what kind of eyes did he look at the world? The kind of despair that even he could not understand himself, and the despair that even he felt weird, no one could understand.

At least, I didn't understand him at that time, and now, even if I'm sitting next to him, I still don't understand. I haven't experienced what he went through, I haven't felt what he felt, so I'll never understand.

In the blink of an eye, he smiled again, "Just kidding, do you think I'm going to tell you some sensational story in the next second?"

I took his hand and pulled up his sleeve, revealing his speckled arm.

"Does it hurt?" I know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the topics he least wants to talk about, and the topics I avoid the most.

"Do you feel distressed when I say it hurts?"

"Sigh - it's not once or twice when I'm distressed. ”

He wanted to tease me, so he simply sat on the bed, "What other time, why don't I know once?"

"I won't tell you. ”

I put my hand on his shoulder, "I remember you said you wanted me to rely on you more." I'm the same, and I hope you can rely on me a little more, even a little. ”

At least, you don't have to pretend to be easy in front of me.

The corners of his mouth were slightly curled, and he curved into a beautiful arc. Immediately, calm returned.

"Why is it so cold?" he said, hugging him. He hugged him so tightly that I could barely breathe.

Rather, I had forgotten how to breathe. I leaned on his shoulder, his powerful heartbeat in my ears.

Suddenly, the warmth spread along my earlobes to my whole body, and his snort sprayed on my neck, "What if I seem to like you more and more?"

"Really?" I held out my hand and hugged him back.

"Probably...... I can't fully understand you right now, but I'm getting close to you, don't push me away. I blinked my inexplicably wet eyes and grabbed his clothes unconsciously.

He didn't respond for a long time, and only said two words: "Thank you." ”

These two words are very light, but they have always occupied the space of memory. Years later, I always remember the mood I had in when he said those two words.

After hearing his words, I sniffled, and tears that had accumulated too much emotion at that moment welled up. It's the distress for him, or the redemption of myself.

I hate being alone in that self-created world.

"Crying?"

"Nope. "Growing up, I didn't like to let others see me crying, and I didn't like to show my weak side the most. And, as it is now, it must be ugly.

He patted me on the back, but I cried even louder.

"Zhao Yilun, next time don't leave me first!"

"Good. ”

That's what he promised me, but he didn't keep it.