When I first opened the letter, everything was in a trance, and my heart went up and down. That kind of mood is like the joy of being sad to the extreme, which cannot be described in specific words.

I only took a cursory look at one line, and I didn't dare to read it any further.

The first sentence of the letter was only five words.

I'm a mom......

As if I had lost my soul, I threw my bag full of school bags in the corner. From morning to afternoon, I sat on the balcony in a daze. That day, I missed a day of class.

The scorching sun burned my exposed skin, and I thought, in a twisted way, if only it could be a little hotter, so hot that I would heat out, so hot that I passed out, and I would have a nightmare for three days...... Isn't that the case so that you don't have to worry about the letter in your hand?

I've been pinching it all the time...... The letter was soaked with sweat and became extremely heavy. Men who had not been heard from for fourteen years suddenly appeared...... I thought she was dead.

The red sun on the horizon gradually receded, and the vast gray swept the heavens and the earth. The twilight haze gilded the unfolding letter with a dull haze.

"I'm a mom. Ke'er, are you doing well? I have seen you from afar, and I have stretched out my hand and compared, and you seem to be higher than me. When I was so thin when I was a child, I was worried that you would be malnourished when you grew up, but when I saw that you were healthy, I was content.

Recently, there is a big temperature difference between day and night, so you should pay more attention to keeping warm at night, I bought you a coat......"

I rubbed my reddened eyes, and after a long silence, I threw the letter on the ground like madness, and stomped it with all my might. I want to shout loudly and look through the glass at the people chatting downstairs. Eventually, all impulses were calmed down.

When I came back to my senses, my whole body was numb and trembling because of my unstable emotions.

Put on your freshly opened coat and stand in front of the dressing mirror. I looked at myself in the mirror and complained in my heart, how could I buy such lowly clothes and wear them like my aunt more than ten years ago.

But there's no denying that it's really warm.

She said that she had seen me from afar, where was it, at school, or at home? Is she doing well, is she as aggrieved as me, or is she very comfortable living alone for so many years, and now she suddenly remembers me and wrote an irrelevant letter?

Take a closer look at the words on the letter, each one is so upright and well-behaved, like a primary school student who has completed his homework seriously.

On the table, the crayons he received at the beginning, with post-it notes left by Zhao Yilun, went out.

I desperately want to share this complicated feeling with another person, even if I don't know someone, let me tell you, after 14 years, I'm really going crazy.

Screaming at the open window, draining all his strength. But his heart was not much more comfortable, and he also disturbed the neighbors.

Lu Xiangnan's long figure landed on the window, and I shook my head that was dizzy from lack of oxygen, and apologized weakly.

"Excuse me, did you make a noise?"

"I see you've been sitting there for a long time, what's wrong today?"

“…… I can...... Shall I sit with you?"

Isn't that despicable?

"Come here, or I'll go find you. ”

“…… No, forget it. ”

In the end, I was the only one who had to face all this.

Close the window, lie quietly in bed and ponder, occasionally open your eyes to look at the letter on the table, confirm the content over and over again, and remind yourself that what you are experiencing is not a dream.

I've imagined countless times what it would be like if my mom came back. When I am bullied by others, I think that she will teach me a lesson to those who are arrogant. When I have something to be happy about, I want her to praise me and praise me for doing a good job, as if only in this way can my joy be real. When I am sad, I also think about it, think about her kindness to me, and the sourness on the tip of my heart instantly flew away with wings.

When I was a child, I thought every day that she could come back, maybe this expectation was too slow for me, and then I experienced countless disappointments that hurt to the bones. I no longer had the courage to expect her to show up. It was more of a disguised autosuggestion, and I told myself that she was dead. I can't think of any other reason to forgive her for being away for so long.

In my drowsy sight was the peacock grass fluctuating with the breeze, and the most gentle woman in my memory whispered softly in my ear: "Grandma's peacock grass is the most beautiful, and no one can compare to it." ”

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

The next day, the sun was still shining. Walking around the campus wrapped in a thin jacket, there are strange eyes cast around him.

Sweat was running down my ears, and my back was wet, and I didn't feel good from any way. Put my hands in my pockets, and I'll wear this dress all day, for no reason, I don't want to take it off at all.

In front of everyone's eyes, I sat down in the first row, and the teacher who was trying the microphone half-joked: "It is said that the mind is calm and naturally cool, and everyone should study like this classmate." ”

In the midst of laughter, Wang Yuan pushed my arm and reminded me in a low voice: "Take off your clothes, how hot it is today!"

"No, just dress like that. ”

The teacher coughed twice, and the conversation in the classroom gradually turned into a room full of whispers.

There was a row of girls sitting behind him, it seemed that they were from our dormitory, talking to each other, nothing more than saying that my clothes were strange, and then it was dirt, Wang Yuan just wanted to have a seizure, Liu Xiwen behind him spread out the textbook, and the sound of flipping through the book was surprisingly loud.

"It's class, it's annoying!"

To be honest, sitting in my seat seemed to be taking notes, but in fact, I couldn't get into a word of what the teacher was talking about, and I wasn't in the mood to think about what the people around me thought of me.

After class, slowly packing up my things, Wang Yuan helped me put the book into my bag and asked with concern: "What's wrong, isn't it a fever?"

She stretched out a hand and put it in front of my forehead, sticking a hand of sweat, "The temperature is normal, are you out of love? Why are you so ......?"

"Ah, I'll talk about that later. ”

A pair of hands holding paper bags suddenly appeared behind me, and I replied angrily: "The place is so big, you have to stretch out to the front, right?"

"Hey, because I just helped you speak, you can't have a better attitude!"

"Liu Xiwen, why don't you go with them?" Usually, she runs the fastest in class, and then brings the few in the dormitory, the second row is always the fastest empty.

I took the paper bag and said, "What's this?"

"Shoes, we changed shoes last time in market research, and I forgot? ”

"Oh. ”

"You're just so cold, and you've been in a dorm room for so long......"

"Hmm. ”

“……”

She took out her lipstick, briefly touched up her makeup, leaned over unnaturally, and said nonsensically: "Understand you." ”

Wang Yuan and I were dumbfounded......

"Oh yes, I wore a smoky makeup to class the last time I fell out of love...... Oops, this kind of broken love or something, normal and normal, don't think too much. ”

Look at Wang Yuan again, the two of them are quite fun, and they can fall in love with anything.

"Don't really think too much about it, it's actually okay for you to clean up. ”

"Hmm. ”

“……”

I didn't want to explain too much, so I fell out of love. Such unexpected care is not bad.