Also known as "Marriage is the Grave of Love" Zhang Baotong 2016.7.4

Because of his old age and frailty, his terminal illness, and especially his restlessness and bad mood, his monasticism and recuperation in the Abbey of Cluny did not make Abelard's health better, but worsened day by day. Pen~Fun~Ge www.biquge.info Soon his condition began to be serious, his body was feverish, his whole body was weak, he coughed all day, and there was bright red blood in his sputum. There is no cure for this disease. The merciful Peter sent him to St. Marcel's Abbey, near Challens, for a change of air.

By this time Abelard had already felt that he was going to die soon, and he looked at the letters that Eloise had written to him over and over again, tears rolling down his eyes. In the last years of his life, when he felt the most miserable, Eloise's letters became his only comfort and happiness, and writing letters to Eloise was the only motivation for him to continue his life. But now he could no longer write to her. But he could still think of her burning love for him. For a while, he dreamed that God was beckoning to him, and that Eloise was lunging at him with open arms. He had already said in his letter to Eloise: When I die, please bury me in our convent. But what he thought of most was the words she had said to him on the path of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit, "Every time I walk with you, I feel like the two of us are having sex together." At that time, he was very surprised by her words, and criticized and blamed her. But now that I think about it, I feel very sweet. So, he couldn't help but sing the song "Mourning" in a low voice:

"If you can sleep in the tomb with you,

Willing to die,

The treasures that the world loves,

What a grace than this!

If you are gone and I live,

It is also like death;

Half a soul and half a breath,

It's not all to be a ghost!

I put the harp and don't play it again,

Bitter tears and sighs!

My finger is sore and painful for a long time,

The throat is weak, and it is miserable. ”?

He was now very sad in his heart, and felt that he might never see his beloved Eloise again. But he didn't want her to come here to see him. Because he felt that it would make her feel less sad. In his mind, he was just her mentor and old friend, so he didn't want to bother her too much.

Then someone came into the house and said to him, "Monsieur Abelard, abbot of the Cistercian abbey, Venerable St. Bernard has come from Paris to see you. ”

When Abelard heard that his most hated enemy had come to see him, he could not help but be stunned, thinking to himself why he wanted me to come to see me if he wished I had died sooner? He really did not want to see him, because of his pursuit and persecution, he ended up like this. However, when people came from Paris to visit him, he could not fail to receive them. He pondered for a long time, and then he said to the visitor, "Let him in." ”

Berner entered the house from the outside, his feet were still a little lame, and he walked with a sweep, but his bearing was still so majestic and solemn. He walked up to him, looked at Abelard for a long time, looked a little sad, and said, "I haven't seen him for more than a year, how did you become like this all of a sudden?" because in his impression and mind, Abelard was always an energetic and desperate fighter.

Abral said unceremoniously, "All you see is Abral's body, his heart is long dead, and he was already dead the moment you pronounced his sentence." ”

Bernard looked up to the sky and sighed silently, saying, "I was also forced to be helpless. Because you have sounded the horn of the duel, I must fight. But I just want to criticize your theories and thoughts, and not hurt your body. ”

Abelard said, "Isn't the body and the mind one and the same?

Bernard nodded, sat down in a chair beside Abelard's sickbed, and said, "Although we are at odds with each other in religion and scholarship, I sincerely hope that you will recover quickly and well." ”

Abelard shook his head and said, "Do you think I'll get better?" and coughed loudly in succession. After he finished coughing, he eased up for a while before he continued, "It's better if I'm dead, so I won't trouble you." During this time, I thought about my life for a long time, and I thought that the reason I was so unlucky in this life was because I was so arrogant and eager to argue with others. However, I also want people to practice religion more clearly and understandingly, rather than blindly and obediently believing in Christ. And yet, I failed, very badly. ”

Hearing this, Bernard said with tears in his eyes, "You have not failed, and the books you have written, although they pose some challenges to traditional religion, have a lot to gratify. ”

Abelard was stunned and asked, "That's what you think of my book?"

"I do think there's something new in your book, but it can't be in opposition to traditional and orthodox religion," Bernard said. The Bible is a book that guides us to believe in Christ and to accumulate virtue and do good, not a book for us to study and analyze. We can only follow the teachings of Christ with all our might, and we must not make arbitrary judgments, let alone change them at will. ”

Bernard's views could never coincide with his, but he knew that Bernard had come to visit him, not to discuss doctrinal scholarship and debate with him, so he deliberately diverted the conversation elsewhere.

As Bernard had just arrived from Paris, and had not yet rested, the two men met, and after a few words they parted, and when they left, Bernard told him that he would return to Paris early to-morrow morning, and that he wanted to come and talk to Shen again after dinner. Abelard nodded in agreement.

That night, St. Bernard learned that Abelard was terminally ill and would soon die, and decided to have a good conversation with him. The two fighters and rivals in the religious and academic circles were full of sadness in this conversation. Bernard sat at Abelard's bedside, feeling very conflicted, but he still wanted to comfort Abelard and hope that he would recover. He and Abelard talked at length all night, and the two finally understood each other and shook hands. Before leaving, Bernard said to Abelard, "I will pray for you every day." ”

A few days later, Abelard died. He died on April 21, 1142, at the age of 63. He was buried in the chapel of the monastery. His funeral was very simple and bleak, and very few people came to his funeral. Ever since he was tried by the Church and expelled from the École de la Madrais, he has been forgotten. And the sad funeral seemed to quote his famous quote: "We are prisoners of fate." ”

But who is the master of fate? The love between him and Eloise is the most lingering and beautiful emotion in the world, but the ending of love brings them the tragedy of life and brings them ruin. He devoted his life to the cause of religion in order to make people more aware of and believe in Christ, but his books were burned by the Church, his ideas were condemned, and he himself was driven and persecuted, and he was imprisoned several times. How can the tragedy and end of this fate be explained?