Lost mood Zhang Baotong 2016.6.13

In recent months, I have been writing works for "Poetic Emotions", so my heart is immersed in a beautiful and yearning emotion all day long. Writing, Fun, Pavilion www.biquge.info However, this kind of emotion has been soaked in the heart for a long time, and it is easy to cause restlessness in the heart. It's as if that beautiful feeling is waiting for you somewhere, for you to experience and relive. And this feeling will not dissipate because of some kind of pastime, but will become stronger and heavier, and it will drive you to go to a hidden place of the soul to experience it.

I've been through this quite a few times. When I was 40 years old, I was in charge of news reporting at the Education Center of the West Rail Branch, and I often used my holidays and business trips to explore the Qinling Mountains. On the one hand, it released the feelings in my heart, and on the other hand, it also added some color to my experience. But now that I'm older, whether subjectively or objectively, that romantic consciousness has been greatly weakened, but it hasn't disappeared.

Last year, I went to Danfeng to visit an acquaintance I had known more than a decade ago. At that time, she was not yet thirty years old, and I was not yet forty years old, and I stayed at her house for three or four days, and during the day, I went up the mountain with her, and in the afternoon I went with her to the mine to carry the soil. Because her husband was digging for gold in the mines. Those few days were very interesting for me. But at night I was scared because I slept with one of her uncles, who was a bachelor, and there were so many fleas and lice on the bed that I could see three or four fleas jumping at the same time with a flashlight. And there are lice in the clothes. So, I hurried home early. However, I was impressed by the scenery and the down-to-earth style of the mountains. So, I want to visit her and her family again. However, in the past ten years, although our moods and dreams have not changed, and the scenery of the mountains has not changed, our people have become different from others, not only much older, but also many changes in our circumstances. The young and pretty, cheerful little daughter-in-law has become a middle-aged woman whom I find difficult to recognize, and she is divorced and married, and her life is not very smooth. And I've become an old man with sparse hair. Therefore, when the two met, they felt a lot of emotion.

As I get older, the feeling of entering the mountains is really different. I remember more than ten years ago, when I carried a camera and a backpack, I walked in the mountains, and whenever I stopped in front of any house, other people's men or women would warmly greet me to drink water and eat, and even let me live in their house. But now I'm just walking on the mountain road, and none of the cyclists who pass by say that they will take me for a ride. And I also feel that I am older, and it is not good to talk to younger people on the road casually. So, I don't want to run in the mountains anymore, but I don't want to go to the city even more, so I stay at home all day and write.

However, people are very strange, and after staying at home for a long time, they want to go out, and they want to go into the mountains and wander again. However, after thinking about it again, I feel that people have changed now, not only in the city, but also in the mountains, so I feel that it is no longer interesting to go out. The contradictory mood has been going on and on like this. I don't know when the mood to go out has taken over, and I think I'm sure I'll go out again, because if I don't go out, I can't do it. Although our age does not allow us to be romantic, our feelings create romance, which will permeate our hearts and inspire us in our travels. Writing needs inspiration, and inspiration comes from romance. And the style and beauty of the mountains themselves are beautiful and boundless romance.

Sometimes I think that people who don't write must be in a relatively flat and peaceful mood. My wife likes to wander around shopping malls and markets all day long, so she opens her mouth and closes her mouth to say, "This tomato was bought in Wanda, and it is only 9 dimes a pound, how cheap it is." Or, "The market in the west has been moved, and it will be inconvenient to buy groceries in the future." "No more," the price of this dish has risen vigorously, and there is no increase in wages. "I've never been interested in these things, and when she says that, I'm thinking about the content of the work, so I don't care what she says, the answer is always, "Got it." "I think she talks about almost all the food prices and trivial things in Tianjin, and her heart will not be as complicated and amorous as mine, nor will she have so many emotional temptations, so she lives a relatively simple and happy life. At the same time, I was also thinking that actors often fake and do real acts, and there are many scandals between men and women. Could it be because of the emotional involvement? Life is simple, but emotions are complicated. Otherwise, people are most likely to cheat emotionally and make mistakes.

In today's society and technology, many problems of feelings are not only unsolvable, but still intensifying. Why can't our hunger and thirst be as easily relieved as we need to eat and drink, and we know that if our hunger can be satisfied as easily as eating and drinking, then will feelings be so wonderful and precious?

Human beings are emotional animals, and modern technology and society have brought us to a state far from the primitive, but our emotions still yearn for and miss some primitive simplicity and true feelings. There is still a certain primitive disposition and impulse in our subconscious. Although some customs have been condemned as bad habits and vices by today's civilization, it is difficult to eradicate them from our hearts. Yes, there are emotions that can survive in our hearts, but we must not let them out of our hearts. Once it is released, it is a disaster. The reason why some people will have scandals and set themselves on fire is that he did not take good care of the wild feelings in his heart, let it run out, and harmed others and himself.

However, romantic emotions are often accompanied by wild passions and impulses, while modest emotions can easily make people tired. It's like we all want to see lions in the wilderness, not in cages. The same goes for writers and actors, whose careers are over if they lose their wild expressiveness. If he wants to continue to play and develop, then he must maintain this passion and impulse in his heart and express this passion and impulse in an artistic way. Therefore, for writers and actors, it is necessary to maintain both this wild state of mind and the norms of behavior.

Writers and actors are also ordinary people, and writers and actors will have the problems that ordinary people have, and writers and actors will also have the confusion of ordinary people. We must not let our self-discipline and indulge in moderation because we are more tempted. Emotional confusion and loss of mood will be encountered by everyone, but we can resolve it in a way that is harmless to others and harmless to family, through a trip or an activity, so that the mood can rest, let the soul breathe enough oxygen, and let the wild passion stop in the home of the soul, instead of running wild in the real feelings. In this way, we can calmly separate creation from life, so that our works and our lives can travel safely and quickly in two lanes.