The marriage of parents Zhang Baotong 2018.10.26

In fact, the main reason why she ended up with my stepfather was that she didn't want to go back to her mother-in-law, because she ran away from her mother-in-law, and she didn't want our three children to return to her hometown in the countryside. Even though all three of our children were raised by the state, we were still scared to go back to our rural hometown. Because my mother often told us about the poverty and hardships of my rural hometown. Our hometown was the place where Chen Sheng and Wu Guang revolted, and we were very poor. During the Cultural Revolution, I went back to my hometown once, and the people there cooked a big pot of sweet potatoes every day, three meals a day, and there were no vegetables, so I vomited sour water when I ate it. But my uncle said that this is not bad, if it is winter, there is often no firewood and grass for cooking at home. I was in third grade, and it was summer, and I saw boys who were my age or even older than me, all with bare butts. It all made me a little incredible.

My stepfather's cave was naturally much larger and better than our family's cave. Our family had not lived in the cave for a long time, and the Agency gave us a house. Since then, our family has bid farewell to caves and caves and lived in a bungalow in the railway family compound. Later, our family followed my stepfather to Nanping, Fujian Province to repair the railway, and then moved to Hunan Province to repair the Luojiang Railway Bridge, and has lived there ever since.

I know that my mom has only loved my father all her life, and she has never really loved my stepfather. But as a woman, she still fulfilled all her responsibilities as a wife. She bore a son and two daughters to her stepfather. Her stepfather had a severe stomach ulcer and had three-quarters of his stomach removed, so she spent the day trying to make sure his stepfather could eat better and dress warmer. After my stepfather passed away, she had to let us go to my stepfather's grave to sweep the grave and burn paper every Qingming Festival and Chinese New Year.

And my stepfather did his duty as a father to my brother, my sister and me. He is an honest man, sincere to people, never beat or scold us, especially very frugal in life, so we respect him very much. However, his greatest contribution to us was to bring our family out of our difficult situation and make our lives better day by day when our family was in great danger. Without him, my mother would have taken us back to our rural hometown, and our family is not a good one, and my grandfather has just been released from prison by the government. The family's land was also confiscated, leaving only a large pear grove and some dilapidated houses. My mother was a little foot, and when she returned to the countryside and couldn't work in the fields, she didn't know how to live there with her three children. Moreover, there was only a very dilapidated small school there, and my brother and sister and I were afraid that we would have to go to school there. If that's the case, I really don't know what the fate of our whole family will be. If we want to say that our family is living well now, it is completely due to the luck and blessing brought to us by the marriage union of my mother and stepfather at that time.

The marriage of a man and a woman has a great impact not only on their children, but also on their own lives and emotional well-being. Although there are many people who have a better life than in the past after divorce, most of them will be in an emotional struggle. Either the man or the woman may have to go through a long period of adaptation to the relationship, and the house is now empty. Carrying the reputation of divorce can be stressful for many people, so many people have been divorced for a long time and their parents and family members are not aware of it. And he didn't dare to meet his acquaintances, for fear that others would ask about it. Divorced people will not only feel very shameless themselves, but others will also have some prejudices against them. When they look for a partner again, others will always have doubts and conjectures about them, wondering if there is something wrong with them. Therefore, they found that their range of choices was so narrow, and even they themselves did not know whether they could find a better object than the original. However, if you can't find a better one than your ex-wife or ex-husband, you will feel even more humiliated. If the children and property are involved, the situation is even more troublesome, and it will cause immeasurable harm to both parties and the children. It can be said that one divorce is enough to teach a person a lesson for a lifetime.

The reason why I want to talk about the marriage of a mother and a father is because I want people to see the importance and profundity of marriage. It's by no means like the romantic and beautiful storylines of Hollywood romance blockbusters, but real life. In traditional Chinese marriages, there is love in some marriages, but there is no love in many marriages. However, whether there is love or not, both parties in every marriage are doing their best to maintain this family seriously. Not only my parents are like this, but also in the six family areas of the entire Iron Fourth Bureau, nearly 1,000 families are also like this. Among them, there are also women from a certain family who cheated on other men, there are also women who give birth to other people's children, and even a certain man who supports other women. However, almost no one divorced. Because cheating on a relationship can only damage reputation, and the consequences of divorce are much more serious. Divorce will not only affect the education and upbringing of children, but also deprive the woman of a source of livelihood. Because most of the women are family members and have no jobs.

In this case, there are many people who think that the older generation lacks an emotional life and lives a miserable life, but this is not true. There is a habit in people's lives, a kind of concept. If it's something they approve of, something they're used to, they won't feel pity. Just like a person who is used to living in a small house, and everyone else lives in a small house, then he will not think that he has to live in a big house. In the traditional concept, men seek out women for nothing more than to have children and have sex. As a normal woman, there will be no problems. However, there is a lot of attention in modern marriage. Men should be rich and handsome, and women should be white, rich and beautiful. However, not to mention whether there are so many rich and handsome and white rich and beautiful, the ratio of men and women is more than 20 million. If you want to find Gao Fushuai and Bai Fumei, it is estimated that at least 70-80% of men and women will be celibate for a lifetime.

Compared to traditional marriage, modern marriage focuses more on love. However, modern men and women have a lot of contact and understanding before marriage, and some even live together for a long time. In traditional marriages, men and women rarely see each other before marriage, and some never even meet before marriage. It stands to reason that men and women in modern marriage should be very familiar and understanding, and the love will be relatively deep. But why is the divorce rate so much higher in modern times than in traditional marriages?

I think it has something to do with people's concept of marriage, it has to do with wealth, it has to do with the influence of Western cultural thought, and it has to do with people's patience. Modern people's living conditions are much better than in the past, so people pay more attention to pleasure and enjoyment, rather than patience and giving. Therefore, they often get angry at each other because they don't say a word right, or because a small thing doesn't go their way, which leads to divorce.

And divorce in modern society is also much easier and more convenient than in the past. There are good and bad sides to this. On the good side, it is a marriage that can avoid death, and on the bad side, it will make some men and women who should not be divorced step on the red line. However, the ease or difficulty of divorce is not the main reason, the main reason is how the parties to the marriage will view and treat the marriage.

Love can be said to be romantic and beautiful, but don't imagine marriage as romantic and beautiful. The parties to a marriage are not in love together, but to have children together and support their families. Although it cannot be said that marriage is the grave of love, the flowing years of marriage will wash away all the romance and beauty. If you can adapt to this process, it means that you have understood and understood marriage. If you can't adapt, you're not mature enough.

My mother has been through two marriages, one she loves and the other she is helpless, but she can take it calmly and seriously. Because she has always loved my biological father, and the life with my biological father was the best time in her life, so in the depths of her feelings, I still cherish my biological father's voice and smile. This made it impossible for her to love my stepfather as much as she loved my biological father. However, as a wife, she deserved it, and apart from the tenderness and secrets in her heart, she gave everything to my stepfather. From her body, she embodies the traditional women's virtues of patience, sincerity, optimism and silent dedication. But my stepfather was also a good man, and he treated us as if we were his own children, and we have a deep respect and gratitude for him throughout our lives.

There will be two modes in every marriage, one is to live happily with a beloved person for a lifetime, and the other is to make do with a person you don't love for a lifetime. But whether it's with Hemeimei or improvised, you must treat each other sincerely, at least so that you can live peacefully and peacefully. If the time comes to part ways, you may find that life after a divorce is often more difficult, if not worse. So, compared to traditional marriage, although modern marriage is romantic and fashionable, it also has more troubles and problems. Because the impact of divorce on a person's life is really great.