The cheerful sound of birds chirping woke Lin Huimei from her dream. Stretching her waist and half-closing her eyes, she really didn't want to wake up from a dream, she had a wonderful dream, even if she thought about it now, there was still a phone call flowing through, Su Yuan's lips were moist and soft, and he flexibly wandered around her lips to find it.

Pushing open the window, the fresh smell of grass mixed with the dampness of the mountains came to her face, she breathed greedily and deeply, almost feeling the oxygen molecules washing her lungs one by one, she remembered an advertisement, imagining the green leaves with water droplets one by one in the body and in the veins.

Before agreeing to come to the mountains with Su Yuan, she secretly went to see a psychiatrist alone.

She always had a sudden tasteless mood without warning, a terrible lifeless rope like a rope of death choking her throat, making it difficult for her to breathe day and night, she even had thoughts of immediate suicide, she could clearly see the sadness, desperately trying to escape. Sometimes, in the middle of the night when no one was around, she would break down, cover her head, hide under the covers and cry.

There is an urge to cry all the time every day, even when laughing.

She knew that she was sick, and she was not very sick, and even had memory loss. When I woke up in the morning, I had a headache, a sore foot, a sore arm, and a pain all over my body, as if I had experienced the beating of a hundred people every night. She was sliding into the abyss, and she didn't have the courage to tell anyone because of the deep "stigma". She thinks that Rong Zeyu is right about at least one thing, that is, "she is good for nothing". She had low self-esteem, was anxious, and was so disappointed in herself that the situation was so serious that she had to stop her column work, and she was afraid of exposing her condition, so she kept delaying going to the doctor.

Later, she suffered from severe insomnia and was unable to eat normally, so she had to go to the doctor. The doctor told her that she needed to actively help herself, and that if the situation progressed, she would need to cooperate with medication and follow-up.

When Su Yuan asked her to come to the mountains, she decided to put down all her work and life, and actively cooperate with their kindness, she wanted to use her own feet to measure the distance from purgatory and find her sense of worth, which required great courage and was very likely to fail.

One after another physical and mental illness is like a sharp blade that pierces the past self, she looks back on her own way, confused, cowardly, does not know how to refuse, goes with the flow, because she is afraid of pain, she does not dare to try, just seeks stability, now she must live according to her own wishes, even at the expense of minefield exploration to find a healthy self.

When she came to the mountain, she seemed to be cut off from "Lin Hui's past", "I am changing for the better" she thought happily, and even that sweet dream let her know that her dry and calm emotions still had throbbing moments.

Exercise does make people produce dopamine, swimming and playing basketball have allowed her to sleep deeply, and she has forgotten what it feels like to sleep to satisfaction for most of the year. She secretly pushes herself hard, one day she can reconcile with the pain of the past, she is not a loser, she wants to be a lifer.

Su Yuan was in the big basketball, his sweat was already soaked in his vest, it seemed that he got up early to exercise, "Morning!" Lin Hui took the initiative to say hello.

"Morning, did you sleep well?" Su Yuan stopped when he saw Lin Hui, walked over, and leaned against Lin Hui's forehead with the back of his hand, "It's amazing, it's okay." ”

"What's really remarkable?" Lin Hui's memory is like a broken film, stuck in the scene on the way home.

"The fever has subsided. You see that your physique and will are great, last night the fever was so high, and it retreated without the help of any medicine, isn't it really amazing. ”

For so many years, no one told her that she had a good physique, and Rong Zeyu always kept instilling in her the fact that she had a weak physique, and never praised her. Now all of a sudden, someone told her that she was awesome, and she couldn't accept it.

"Fever?" Like a broken cassette repaired and replayed, Lin Hui suddenly remembered that she still had to drink a bowl of porridge, Su Yuan had been putting a towel on her, then, everything was not a dream, then, Lin Hui's face was "Teng" red, all the way to the root of her ears, at this time, if there was a hole in the ground, she would not consider whether it was so deep that she might jump down to pieces.

"I'm going to wash my face. Lin Hui turned around and ran away.

"Well, I've made the porridge. The voice behind Su Yuan chased after him, and Lin Hui felt that his back was full of thorns.

Lin Hui poured water on her face over and over again, the well water in the morning was cold, which made people more sober, she remembered every detail, she grabbed him and didn't let him go, she warmly accepted Su Yuan's kiss, and she responded even more fimentally.

She dipped her face in the basin, "Shame on you" She doesn't know how to step out of this door now, how to act as usual under Su Yuan's gaze.

"Lin Hui" Su Yuan was calling her, she could only come out hard, there was no other way.

She is very much like a Handan toddler, I don't know whether to take a step with her left leg or her right leg first, with a shame that cannot be concealed, she rubbed to the table and sat down, Su Yuan served porridge with her, and even the eggs were shelled, Lin Hui lowered her head and drank porridge silently, Su Yuan sandwiched vegetables for her, "Just eating without vegetables is not nutritious", Su Yuan's voice is a magnetic baritone.

Su Yuan ate quickly, he was so natural, as if nothing had happened, which made Lin Hui wonder again if she was hallucinating, maybe it was really an illusion after last night, the hallucination that her longing produced when she burned into confusion. Yes, when she was in extreme pain, she also hallucinated, saw her parents, and saw the cursed devil. Her subconscious thoughts had already given her fantasies more than once.

"Lin Hui, I'm going to take the village car to the county education bureau later, and there are still some documents that have not been approved. Su Yuan put down the dishes and chopsticks and said.

"Shall I go with you?"

"No, you're just right, it's better to rest at home, I'll come back in the afternoon, and I'll ask the people in the village to bring you food at noon." ”

"Don't, I'll do it myself, I'm not that useless. Lin Hui seemed to have been emphasizing the word "useless", Su Yuan said: "It's okay, self-reliance is very fulfilling, no matter how bad it is, you still have so many delicious foods in your box, and you can't be hungry." However, you can't eat it all, you have to save some to share with me. ”

"I'm not a pig, so what about a big box. Lin Hui finally showed some smiles.

Su Yuan explained some cooking matters, and hurriedly went out.

Lin Hui stood at the door and waved to Su Yuan, like a wife sending her husband out of the house. Seeing Su Yuan's figure getting smaller and smaller, Lin Hui felt a feeling of gradually hollowing out in her heart.

"I started to miss it just after we separated", Lin Hui was frightened by her girlish feelings, so she quickly collected her thoughts. Then next, she shook over, looked at the distant mountains, looked at the close-up view, if there was no Su Yuan by her side, all the beautiful scenery seemed to be boring.

The time was also close to noon, and the air was hot and sticky, knowing that the chirping noise made the wait infinitely long and unbearable, Su Yuan said that he would come back in the afternoon, maybe soon, maybe later than in the afternoon. Lin Hui made all kinds of speculations. Forget it, let's cook, Su Yuan said that self-reliance will be very fulfilling.

Before coming to the earthen stove, Lin Hui stayed, as long as she turned the valve at home, the fire came, how to make a fire now? Although Su Yuan taught her a lot, she could not fully appreciate such a large amount of information.

Lin Hui lit the fire and blew and fanned, the fire was still extinguished contemptuously, she refused to admit defeat, started again, and then continued to fail, I don't know how many times I repeated it, Lin Hui is now full of smoky smell, tears "whoosh" I don't know how much, when she kept wiping her tears, she caught a glimpse of a figure. "Su Yuan" she jumped up happily.

"Hello teacher!" said a woman in her thirties or younger or older, smiling timidly, and stopped not far away, "the headmaster said that you have never used this kind of wood-burning stove before, let me see if you need me to do anything." ”

"Great. Lin Hui rubbed her face, which was a little tense because of her constant tears.

"Well, I don't know what to call you, I'm afraid you're younger than me, and I'm afraid I'm going to call my sister. I'm twenty-nine years old. ”

"Huh?!You city people are just well-maintained, I thought you were a girl of eighteen or nineteen. I am twenty-six this year, and my baby is going to school here this year, and the principal is really a bodhisattva, otherwise the baby will have to climb two mountains to go to school. ”

"Ah" Lin Hui smiled: "Your doll is about to go to school." "Thinking that I am almost thirty years old and have achieved nothing, I can't help but feel a little depressed.

The woman said, "The teacher cares about my sisters and sisters, and calls me Aihong, or Baoming's mother, and everyone in the village calls me that." ”

"Okay, you don't call me a teacher, my name is Lin Hui, you call me Lin Hui. Lin Hui felt that being called like this by the woman's "teacher" before and after "teacher" had a kind of deceptive heart, and she had no intention of staying here for a long time before she came here.

"That's not possible, you cultural people are teachers. ”

"You teach me to make a fire and cook, and you are also my teacher, I also have to call you a teacher, we two teachers come and go, how tired, love red. ”

The woman smiled a little shyly, "Okay, listen to the teacher, Lin ~ Lin ~ let me call the teacher, otherwise I won't be able to speak." ”

Lin Hui smiled, and then Aihong.

Aihong taught Lin Hui how to make a fire, and when she saw the raging flames burning in the earthen stove, Lin Hui was so excited that she grabbed Aihong and said, "I will make a fire, I will make a fire." ”

For people who grew up in the small countryside, making a fire is as simple as sneezing, and seeing Lin Hui's excitement as if she had completed the opening of the mountain, Aihong couldn't help but feel funny and happy.

Aihong is very quick to wash and chop vegetables, Lin Hui must be in charge of the spoon by herself, and Aihong "pours oil" on the side...... Less, more, good, good, add salt, not so much, and less......" In fact, Lin Hui is also a robot with a spoon, and she will do whatever Aihong says, but it is very interesting to concentrate on it. She took a bite of the dish that she had stir-fried with her own hands, and "it was so delicious, it was so delicious."

She picked up a mouthful of meat and brought it to Aihong's mouth, Aihong let go, "Teacher eat, I'll go back." ”

"Taste it, it's the first time I've ever cooked, it's really not unpalatable, it's delicious. Lin Hui was a little anxious.

Aihong looked embarrassed, "Okay, I'll take the chopsticks." ”

"Take some chopsticks and eat like this. ”

"You city people are very clean, and I still took chopsticks. Aihong said insistingly.

"You are cleaner than anyone else. Lin Hui felt when she said this, where is there a cleaner soul than the unpolluted mountain people, in just one day, only a few people have been seen, she felt a strong simple nostalgia and unguarded love for strangers.

She loved it, it was like a paradise in her senses.

After eating, Bai scoundrel chatted, she came to Su Yuan's room, Xia Liang was neatly stacked in the corner of the bed, and a book was pressed under the pillow, Lin Hui reached out and carefully lifted the pillow, like a thief trying not to leave a trace, the cover of the book was damaged, and at a glance, he knew that he had read it countless times.

"Love in the Time of Cholera", when she was in high school, she liked this novel, and discussed it with him countless times, that is, they didn't understand love yet, but it didn't prevent them from arguing fiercely at all. I didn't expect him to still carry this book with him.

She opened the wardrobe hesitantly, she had never peeped into other people's private belongings in her life, and now she couldn't help but want to enter Su Yuan's world, picked up a hanging light blue dress, buried her face in the clothes and rubbed it, as if she was about to curl up into the folds of the clothes, and every yarn in it was Su Yuan's taste.

The afternoon heat in the mountains was sticky and humid, the sun was full and gorgeous, and the time was so long that it was tiring, Lin Hui lay on the bed and was drowsy, she was sure that she was in a fugue again.

When Su Yuan came back, she knew, her heart was pounding, but she must not show the slightest clue, she didn't open her eyes, she heard Su Yuan tiptoe in, sitting on the edge of her bed and staring at her, her heart was calling him, his lips of hope invaded her again in the "dream", every inch of her skin longed for his touch, she was afraid that he would do this and was afraid that he would leave indifferently without doing anything, fear and excitement collided in her heart "suddenly".

She felt his breath get closer, then stopped, paused for a moment, and he walked out softly.

Lin Hui was very angry. If he kissed her, she would be angry. He doesn't kiss her, and she gets angry. She didn't want to dig into the inside story of her heartbreak, let alone decipher the clues of his emotional mystery. She has always been angry with herself and Su Yuan. Until she smelled the rich aroma of the vegetables, and at the same time heard the sizzle of the ingredients coming down to the hot oil pan.

She asked, "Are you back?" and pretending to be nothing, "How's it going? Haven't you had lunch yet?"

Su Yuan saw her get up, and his voice was infinitely gentle: "Make dinner." The night in the mountains gets dark early. ”

"Ah, is it so late?" Lin Hui habitually raised her wrist to look at the time, only to remember that the watch had been returned to Rong Zeyu, and when she thought of Rong Zeyu, Lin Hui remembered the bad life and a mess that had not yet been resolved. , Su Yuan noticed Lin Hui's movements of looking at his watch and his mood changed immediately.

"I'm not hungry yet. Lin Hui turned around and wanted to go back to the room.

"Help me take a hand, I'm very busy by myself, you help me light the fire. ”

Lin Hui sat down and added a piece of wood to the stove, and then added another one, and when Su Yuan told her that it was too much, she saw that the small stove was almost full.

"Is it good to eat at noon?" Su Yuan noticed Lin Hui's emotions while flipping the dishes in the pot.

"Well, it's good, it's the first time in my life to cook by myself, I'm so excited, it's really like you said, there is a sense of accomplishment, I want to try a little more new things in the future. When I cook, I focus on cooking, which used to seem like a chore, but today I feel happy from the bottom of my heart, because I have forgotten everything and only focused on the present, and my heart has never been so relaxed. As she spoke, Lin Hui was taken away from the troubled emotions just now, and her face showed a little pride. "Su Yuan, how can you cook? I thought you didn't know anything. ”

"Haha, so you see me like this. When I was a child, my grandmother taught me to cook, saying that with this technology, I will not be hungry in the future, and I will return to China to open a company, both a boss and a chef. Haha, although it's a small boss. ”

"It's not small, you can build a school. ”

"It was all luck, in the beginning, it was very difficult for a small company to survive, but I didn't think about it that much, I kept doing things with my head down, I didn't have much ambition, just because I liked it. ”

"Are really capable people so humble? ”

"To be honest, I don't know what real success is? Money is not the only measure of success. ”

"Oh, don't everybody think so?"

"I think a successful person should first be a person full of happiness, otherwise, it is a working machine. ”

"You're not happy?"

"Everyone's definition of happiness is different, and I may still be in the process of being confused. In the eyes of many people, I am very happy, but as people drink water, they know that they are warm and cold. ”

Lin Hui looked at the stove fire and stopped talking, in the eyes of many people, she was so happy that she was dying, if she divorced Rong Zeyu, I don't know how many useless speculations would be aroused.

"Where have you been wandering again? The quality of the food is very important to you. Su Yuan found that Lin Hui's thoughts were anchoring again, so he hurriedly pulled her back. "Let's finish our meal and go to a high place to see the stars, shall we?"

"Okay. Lin Hui was excited when she heard it. What Su Yuan likes to watch most is her free, carefree and happy look.