Gu Xizhou ignored people when he was angry, but this has not changed, I called him several times but no one answered. Actually, I have a question in my heart, isn't he chasing me? So for the fact that he didn't answer my phone, I am even more sure that after so many years, Gu Xizhou is still emotionally straight.

Today, Lu Cheng said that he couldn't pick me up for dinner because of important work, and I was finally relieved. used to watch the heroines in the TV series who didn't directly refuse the pursuit of men other than the male protagonists, and once scolded her with righteous indignation, obviously eating in the bowl and looking at the pot, but when it really came to herself, I realized the suffering of those heroines, who didn't refuse, it was clear that those men's persistence was used in the wrong place. There's nothing wrong with liking someone, it's too hurtful when you refuse, it's too cruel, but it's cruel if it doesn't hurt. I kept reflecting on myself, I shouldn't have given Lu Cheng hope, I should have said it quite clearly, we can't. But how could he be indifferent to my clear refusal, which troubled me quite a bit.

When I got home, my mother had already cooked, and since they moved, their spirits were better, and they didn't mention it to me that day, I asked once, but my mother said that you take care of yourself, we have lived for most of our lives, and we know how to take care of ourselves to prevent them from going back, and I don't ask anymore. When I was a child, my mother said to me the most: Yueyue, you must learn to take care of yourself, in case your mother can't be by your side, you have to live bravely by yourself. Although I went through the dark times, my mom still treated me free-range, and she felt that I had to learn to face all kinds of setbacks on my own so that I could live a better life in the future. Therefore, although our family relationship is very good over the years, we have learned to deal with our own affairs, and each of us can stand alone. Especially after my mother experienced the ups and downs of life, although she was occasionally fragile, more than that, she had the courage to face all difficulties.

As soon as I put down my bag, my mom told me to wash my hands and eat. My dad also happened to come out of the study, he has been a people's teacher all his life, and he can't let go of the habit of studying, he always says to me when he is empty, he always says to me, "You also have to read more books, and you can see all the worlds in the book, so that you will have a different understanding of life." ”

It's a pity that after so many years, under his education, I didn't cultivate the slightest fragrance of books, and I was just bored, so I would read some books to pass the time, but there wasn't much time like that.

Mom and Dad seemed to have something on their minds during the meal, and I looked at them and asked casually, "What's wrong with you, what's so strange today." ”

Dad glanced at my mom, my mom looked back at him, and then sighed, my mom put down the bowl in her hand, and said solemnly: "That person was caught, the police station called, saying that he didn't want to say anything, just wanted to see you," my mom looked at me when she said this, for fear that my mood was wrong, I didn't speak, she continued: "We also said, you are an adult, you are your own decision, we don't force you, you have the final say on whether you go or not." ”

Seeing that I still didn't speak, my father hurriedly said, "Eat and eat, don't be in a hurry, let Yueyue think about this matter herself." ”

After eating, I went back to the bedroom by myself, in fact, twenty years later, my impression of him is very vague. All I remember is the hideous face, he locked me in the house, I could only hear my mother's screams, but I couldn't see anything. Sometimes he would lock me in the closet and make me shiver in the long darkness. Mom begged him every time, he could beat her as much as he wanted, don't do this to me, I'm still a child, he seems to enjoy the way my mother begs him, so he always tortures me in a different way.

It wasn't over until I was eight years old. He was in a very good mood that day, his mother came back to cook groceries, and at dinner his mother poured him wine, and I behaved very well. He was so happy that I sweetly called him, "Daddy." He was so proud that he unbuttoned his phone and said he wanted to take a picture for me, I had never taken a picture since I was a child, I learned to pose like I was on TV, and he laughed and got carried away. I called him sweetly again, "Dad, can I look at the pictures on my phone?" and I smiled so sweetly, but my heart was trembling.

The moment he handed me his phone, I was relieved. I ran back to the room with my phone, and he was sure that I had never touched a mobile phone since I was a child, so I didn't know anything, but for this day, I had been preparing for a long time and learned a lot of knowledge about audio and video recording, so when my mother dropped the bowl on the floor, I had already turned my phone into a video recording and quietly put the phone in the living room. He was emotionally unstable and would ignore it when he was angry, so he forgot to ask me to return to my phone when he hit his mother. I wrapped myself in the quilt and shivered, and I kept saying to myself, it's over, this life is over.

He drank wine that day, and the whole person was a little confused, and he fell asleep after the fight. Mom sobbed and dragged him back to the room, then came softly to my room and asked me, "Did you record it?"

I trembled and nodded, I didn't dare to look at my mother's scars, I didn't dare to look into her eyes, I even hated myself, why did I record such a disgusting time, but my mother said that we had to have evidence to uncover his hypocrisy, to get a divorce, to get out of here.

Leaving here was such a luxury for me, but it was so tempting, so I did as my mother said. He woke up the next day when nothing had happened, and his mother kept going. Mom said that we must be careful, otherwise everything will be wasted. After all, for so many years, he has never shown his feet, he is a good man in the eyes of his colleagues, a good husband and a good father in the eyes of others. No one even believes that everything we said, he hid it too well, my mother said, probably some people are born to play, probably acting is his talent, so he can make people can't see anything for so many years.

Later, because of that video, the court finally granted a divorce. On the day I went to the court to hear the verdict, my mother told me to bring a little less and wait for her at the station. We all know that we can't go back to that home, and when we go back, it's an abyss. I waited and waited at the train station, and finally waited for my mother to appear, and we didn't even have time to cry, my mother took out those Zou Baba change with trembling hands, and only asked the aunt who bought the ticket: "You see where the money is enough, we will go." ”

Auntie was very bored looking at this pile of Zou Baba's money, but when she looked at us, she seemed to understand something, and counted it patiently. The money was only enough to get to City A, and we had no choice but to catch the train.

It wasn't until the roar of the train that our hanging hearts were put down. My mother held me in her arms with trembling hands, and we didn't dare to cry loudly, for fear of waking up those past times, and everything swept back again.

When I thought of these things before, I still couldn't help but tremble in my heart, and I didn't dare to imagine if we hadn't escaped that time, whether it would have been the result of the same death in the end.

Later, we didn't hear from him again, I don't know if he was in prison for domestic violence, I don't know if he is still the same as before, acting in front of everyone, and when he comes home, he will tear off his mask and hurt others, I thought that nightmare was completely over, but I didn't expect him to be so persistent, for so many years, he has been looking for us.

He reappeared five years ago, and the moment I saw him at the school gate, my feet were fixed in place, and I couldn't take a step. He just looked at me from afar, and the smile on his face made me tremble, and I remember that smile, every time he locked me in the house, in the closet, he smiled like that.

Gu Xizhou was by my side that day, he was frightened by me, my cold body was trembling all the time, no matter what he called me, I could hear his voice, but I couldn't speak. Gu Xizhou had never seen me like that, I thought he would be scared away, but he had been taking care of me carefully, until one day, my spirit was a little better, and I told him about my childhood, in fact, I was ready for him to run away. Psychologically speaking, children who were subjected to violence in childhood will have more or less psychological shadows when they grow up, and their psychology is unhealthy. I thought, I'm not healthy. So even if he leaves me, I will accept it and bless him. But he hugged me tightly, and he said, "From now on, I will be your light, and I will remove the black cloth that covers you, and make you a real bright moon." ”

At that moment, I was really willing to fight the whole world for him.

I slept restlessly that night, but I didn't hesitate, of course I was going to see him. I haven't sorted out a lot of things five years ago, and I need him to explain some of the most important things for me and explain the reasons why Gu Xizhou left me.

The next day I woke up early, my mother prepared breakfast, she looked at my dark circles, didn't say anything, but her eyes were full of distress. At breakfast, she said, "If you don't want to go, don't force yourself." ”

I smiled and said, "I'll go see him." ”

They were stunned for a moment, and then relieved themselves, probably thinking that I hadn't let go yet, and that maybe they would let me go and see him. Many chicken soup for the soul doesn't say that the best way to heal ourselves is to face our difficulties, to face the things that make us sad and sad, and to face those who hurt us. But after so many years, I have realized a better way, that is, to forget, to forget those past that I don't want to recall, to try to forget and forget, and one day I suddenly found that many things are really blurry, I only remember a general outline, and then later, I don't even remember the outline.

After coming to the Public Security Bureau, I was received by the police officer who handled the case last time, and in order to cover up my dark circles, I applied a thin layer of powder, and the whole person looked quite energetic. The police officer's surname was Qin, and he simply instructed me a few words, in fact, he asked me to persuade him to confess truthfully. I nodded politely, and then Officer Qin took me to meet him.

For the first time in many years, I could see his face clearly, the beard on his face could not be concealed in any way, and his hair was a few gray. In the past, he loved cleanliness, shaved his beard every day, and wore a neat suit, and every time I saw him, a word would pop up in my heart, a beast in a suit and tie.

I picked up the phone, he picked up the phone, he stopped smiling at me, but called me softly: "Yueyue." ”

I resisted the retching sensation and nodded slightly.

"I thought you wouldn't see me, I'm glad you came. The corners of his eyes were already quite wrinkled, and the person in front of him really didn't look like the person before, and he was very gentle in front of him, like a real father.

I didn't smile, I just looked at him faintly and asked him like an emotionless machine, "If you want to see me, what do you have to say?" ”

He smiled softly, "It seems that you won't forgive me." ”

I still said with a blank face: "I can't talk about forgiveness, but I have forgotten, even you." ”

In fact, I would like to ask what he has done over the years that is worthy of me to write off the past and forgive him. Some people's evil is probably innate, and they don't even think that they have really done evil, probably he has gray sideburns, so I should forgive him, I don't want to argue with him about these things. Just ask him, "Five years ago, why did you just come to see me and disappear?" ”

"You may not believe it, I didn't actually want to hit him, I was just jealous, I saw your mother smiling beside him, seeing you call him Dad, I was crazy with jealousy, so I drove at him, but I regretted it after the collision, I abandoned the car, ran away in a hurry, and lived in a small hotel that didn't see the light of day, I was really panicked at that time......" His emotions fluctuated a little, as if all this was true, everything he did was just because of jealousy. But in my opinion, it's just nature, the nature of hurting others, just like hurting my mother and me in the first place.

"You don't have to act like this, I know you best, you are the best at acting, you used to deceive people like this. My tone was flat, and he seemed to be enraged, and his eyes were full of anger, which confirmed my belief that everything he said was nothing more than his trick.

He sneered: "Sure enough, it's my daughter, especially like me in the fiercest place." ”

I don't want to argue with him that I'm not like him at all, that's not what my dad taught me now, I'm not like him. But in the face of such a person who is perverted to the extreme, all words become redundant.

"How did you disappear later. I asked myself why I was meeting him.

"Then someone came to me and gave me a sum of money, saying that they had arranged a place for me to go, and although I was not there anyone, as soon as I remembered the dark days in prison, I was sent to the gods to agree, and they sent me abroad, and at first there were people watching me, and then no one cared about me at all. ”

"Why are you coming back now?"

"Hehe, my stupid daughter, I am alone abroad, and I have no income, and when I come back, of course, I am looking for my daughter to support the elderly. "He looked at me defiantly, like a good show, probably to see when I got angry.

I smiled calmly: "Do you know what I've learned over the years? If others don't recruit me, then our well water doesn't interfere with river water, if you recruit me, he respects me a foot, and I pay him back, do you think I'm still the little girl who is shrunk in the closet and shivering?"

He really looked at me stunned, and then laughed: "It's me who underestimated you, too, you are my daughter after all, but I want to see how you will treat your biological father." Although I tied up the surname Ming, I didn't do anything, he didn't do anything, do you think, how long can I be imprisoned, my stupid daughter, every time I do things, I am measured, even if I am caught, I will not be locked up for a long time, but you, but you must always be scared, maybe one day, I will go crazy, do something unpredictable, hahaha......"

His laughter was unusually harsh, and I tried not to shake my hand holding the phone, and I said to myself in my heart that he was trying to provoke me, and he said this to provoke me. I slowly calmed down and said softly: "Then I wish you a speedy release from prison." ”

When I came out of the interview room, Officer Qin greeted me, he saw that my face was not very good, handed me a glass of warm water, and I said thank you gently. I drank the water a little better, and then he tried to ask me, "How, what did he say?"

I shook my head: "I can't say it either, he didn't say anything, he just said that he was just jealous for a while, so he tied up my father." ”

Officer Qin nodded, and then said, "Actually, we asked you to come because we think it's better to have a confession, but don't worry without you, we have found evidence." ”

I looked at him gratefully and said, "I'll have you sent back." ”

I politely refused: "No need, I can go back by myself, don't worry." ”

I can see sympathy in Officer Qin's eyes, probably they have also checked his previous files, and they always pay special attention to and sympathize with children who have suffered domestic violence. They should have handled countless such cases, and the luck is the same, but the misfortune has its own misfortune. A lot of times I don't know whether I'm lucky or unlucky, to say lucky, to have such a biological father, it doesn't seem to be lucky, to say unlucky, to have a good father like Ming's father, and a mother who loves me, it seems to be quite lucky.

When I walked out of the police station, I found that Gu Xizhou's car was parked on the side of the road, but he didn't see his figure, probably in the car. I walked over and didn't see anyone in the car. I was about to take out my mobile phone to make a call, but I heard someone behind me call me: "Mingyue." I turned around and was embraced into my arms, his chin resting on my neck, and I was aching.

His low voice came: "Why don't you tell me, I'll come with you." ”

I patted him lightly on the back and said comfortingly: "It's just to see each other, and then it's at the police station, nothing will happen, so why bother with someone." ”

"But I'm no one else. He said with some anger.

I stopped talking, I was in it just now, which had already exhausted me, and now I didn't want to fight with Gu Xizhou anymore.

He thought I was angry, and his voice softened: "I'm just worried about you. ”

"I know. "My voice was soft, and it seemed that I was really tired, and when I was tired, I would fall down the next moment. Thinking like this, his head really began to get dizzy, and the next moment, he went straight to Gu Xizhou's arms.