The love of life Zhang Baotong 2019.2.13

Falling in love at first sight or falling in love always makes us feel pure and passionate. Purity is a metaphor for pure innocence, no stains, no selfishness, and people have the sincerity and beauty of "getting out of the mud without staining, and clear ripples without demons". It is a kind of soul that has gone through the baptism of life but still maintains its purity and authenticity. Passionate love and me, life and death, like a flash in the pan, short life, but release a lifetime of glorious and charming energy. Therefore, love always makes people full of affection and longing, it is like sunshine and rain sprinkled on our hearts, making us feel the beauty and preciousness of life.

Marriage, on the other hand, is a form of family that gives responsibility to love. In the early days, there was no marriage, only love. For example, in a matriarchal society, after a man and a woman have a good time, all the children born are raised by the woman. Men do not take any responsibility. However, in the male society, in order to let men and women share the responsibility of raising children, marriage began. In fact, marriage is not just a man and a woman raising children together, it is also a social form that unites the two families of a man and a woman. Or, people will say: love is a matter of two people, and marriage is the marriage of two families between a man and a woman.

Marriage is the binding of the shared responsibility of raising children to the mutual relationship between the two families. Therefore, marriage is much more complicated, more important, and stronger than the love between a man and a woman, both in terms of responsibilities and in terms of mutual relations. We long for pure and passionate love, but this love may disappear in a beautiful moment like a flash in the pan, and it will make many men and women sad and sad because they will suddenly find that their lover no longer loves them. In order to continue this pure and passionate love, people fixed this love through marriage. However, love is only a feeling, and this feeling is often like autumn clouds, which are gathered together by the wind and scattered by the wind in the sky. So, it's an unpredictable feeling.

Why does this kind of pure and passionate love fade so quickly after marriage? Some people say that it is because the two people are together every day, which destroys the sense of distance and freshness, and the direct cause of the destruction of this feeling is the innate human desire to see the new and dislike the old. Because the husband and wife are together every day, they are too close and familiar, and there is no sense of mystery and distance, so that they can't find the feeling.

What is love? Love is a cup of water when you are thirsty, a bowl of noodles when you are hungry, and a piece of clothing when you are cold; love is the companionship when you are lonely, the support when you are helpless, and the hug when you are sad. The support of affection, although not too intense and hot, is soft and long. Appreciating the love of heart-to-heart is more precious than being obsessed with the material things in the colorful world. Who doesn't want to treasure someone in their relationship who makes your heart pound?

However, there may be many reasons for bad relationships and divorce, among which the economic situation is a very important factor. Not only marriage, but also love, which is inseparable from the word "money". Maybe the prince will fall in love with Cinderella, but which princess will fall in love with a poor child? Because of the indifference of the married couple's feelings, if they face economic embarrassment again, they will inevitably stage a tragedy of "poor and lowly couples are in decline." Love is the romance and beauty of the wind and snow, and after the wind and snow, the hero and heroine have to go home to eat and sleep. If they don't eat well, they don't sleep well, they don't even have a place to live, then they get angry and angry. So, in the absence of money, marriage is like a boat floating in a storm, rickety and precarious.

Love needs milk and bread, clothing and shelter. When the hero and heroine no longer worry about food, clothing, housing, transportation, firewood, rice, oil and salt, they will have leisure to create romance and love, and they can coexist peacefully with each other. However, it is not always necessary to have food and clothing and to be fed all day long to ensure the love between a man and a woman. In fact, from another aspect, we can see that the richer the family, the higher the divorce rate. The United States, Japan, the United Kingdom, Denmark, and Sweden in Western societies are some of the most economically developed countries in the world and also have the highest divorce rates. Shanghai, Beijing and Shenzhen in China have the highest divorce rates. Rich and poor, alike, both have their own problems and reasons when it comes to love and marriage. It's just that rich people have more convenience in divorcing, so it will be more convenient and easy for them to divorce, because there are many things that can be settled directly with money.

With the exception of a few exceptional cases, most divorces are due to a lack of tolerance and patience on the part of the spouses. For example, a wife might say, "I'm really unlucky to die in your life." Hearing this, I'm afraid that 90% of husbands will be very angry and immediately say, "Who told you to follow me?" and the wife will definitely say, "I'm blind." And so a storm between husband and wife came. If you just think she's upset and wants to be angry when she says it, or if you don't hear it at all, maybe you'll avoid a storm.

The process of marriage is a kind of practice and management process that continues love. In this way, you are honing your tolerance and patience. There are many women who love to play with other things, and you say that putting a small half spoonful of salt in stir-frying is a bit too much, but she thinks that putting half a spoonful of salt is not too much at all. You want to watch the news for a while in the evening, but she wants to switch to the health channel. You're going to say that the woman on TV is beautiful. She immediately said that you are a flowery intestine. If you have to deal with her, then you won't be able to get by. But you can't live without her, and if she's not at home one day, you'll have to cook your own meals. If she's not at home, you feel like it's empty. Moreover, she is also responsible for the grocery shopping and shopping at home. This will save you a lot of time.

Therefore, she will often be like a friend or colleague who always says goodbye to you, but like a friend or colleague who can't leave you, if you want to compete with her or distinguish between right and wrong, then you are afraid that you will quarrel every day, if you can be tolerant and understanding, can be generous and tolerant, then you can make the sun shine 365 days a year, the wind is beautiful. In fact, the quarrels between men and women are almost all because of trivial things, but when they really encounter big things, they can discuss calmly and reach a consensus easily.

Even when arguing, don't add fuel to the fire, say those harsh words that smell of gunpowder, and deliberately deepen the feelings of hurting the other person. Instead, we should find a way to salvage the situation. If you still love her, you should have the idea of making her happy, be considerate of her and tolerate her, and it will not make you lose anything. Stopping the argument will make you less angry, calm down, and allow you to use your thoughts and energy elsewhere. Because family conflicts and conflicts are a lose-lose affair no matter what.

Don't break up your marriage casually, it will cost you a lot and cause you a lot of trouble. Therefore, both parties must not give up their love for each other, they cannot be overly willful, and they can trust and love each other. Although this kind of love is no longer the kind of passionate love like a mirror, it is plain and prosaic, and it lasts for a long time.

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