I wrote "There Are No Dreams in Marriage" (Page 1/1)

I wrote "There Are No Dreams in Marriage" Zhang Baotong 2019.2.23

Recently, I spent two months writing a long story "There Are No Dreams in Marriage", nearly 400,000 words. The work shows the real scenes and feelings of marriage and love in a documentary style, truly expounds and records the true face of love and marriage, and allows people to have a more objective and sober understanding of love and marriage. The theme is to keep people from giving up their dreams in pursuit of vanity and glitz.

The work was originally named "Marriage", but this name has been used by other works, changed to "Marriage and Love" and "The Taste of Love", and has also been used by other works, so the title of the work was temporarily changed to "There Are No Dreams in Marriage". Marriage is the most complex form of affection and family relations between men and women in our modern society. At a time when the level of science and technology in today's society is so advanced and 5G is about to be covered, marriage and love are becoming more and more complex and unpredictable. Marriage and love are not like technology that allows people to grasp and change, and apply them freely. It can only allow us to understand it and conform to it through learning and knowing. Therefore, only when we truly understand marriage and love can we conform to it subjectively and confidently, so that our emotional life will not go astray and detoured.

In the beginning, humans, like some other animals, were unmarried. The women often live in a cave or hut, while the men wander around, and when they have caught their prey and received food, they come to a woman, offer the game or food to the woman, and then stay with the woman for the night, sleep, and then leave. Women don't know which man's child they give birth to, so the man doesn't care about the child's growth at all, and the child only knows the mother, so he doesn't know who the father is. This is the family condition of a human matriarchal society. In a patriarchal society, with the development of productive forces and the abundance of food, men began to live with women. In order to take on the responsibility of raising children with women, society began to have marriage. Therefore, the original intention of marriage is for men and women to raise children together. However, marriage also has an important function, which is to prevent men from abandoning women and taking over other women at will. Modern civilization is gradually making the responsibilities of marriage and family in favour of women and children.

Modern civilization is a kind of law that constantly regulates people's morality and behavior. But it is undeniable that people's morality and behavior are high and low, even if some people with high status and deep learning, he will still have very backward concepts and behaviors in marriage and love. Although human beings have developed thousands of years of civilization, the primitive nature and instinct of human beings are still deeply rooted. This primitive nature and instinct can only be constrained by moral standards, but it cannot be completely eliminated, and it is impossible to completely eliminate it, and if we completely eliminate these primitive instincts and instincts, then we human beings may be on the verge of extinction.

Our primitive human nature and instinct are our natural ability to survive, most notably to find food and find a mate. These are the two most important skills for human survival and development. Therefore, no matter how society develops, labor and childbirth have always been the two major tasks of human survival and development. Our current family is also carrying these two major tasks, but our marriage and love are full of more modern civilization.

Modern civilization has made our marriage and family more stable and comfortable, but also made our marriage and family face a lot of confusion. The difficulties of employment and changes in feelings often plague us, making us look forward and worry. Compared with life itself, feelings are often in a position of being subordinated. This is why women prefer to marry rich people who have money rather than poor people who have nothing. Because they are also thinking about their quality of life and the risk of survival. Extramarital affairs and extramarital affairs have been a phenomenon since ancient times, and the most common situation is that women want to use their feelings in exchange for the necessities of life and their own interests. In fact, this itself is a manifestation of a woman's ability to survive. The more favored a woman is by men, the more food she can get, and the more room she has to live. Although for many people, food and clothing and survival are no longer a problem, wealth and glory still exist between the rich and the poor, and they are still seducing and infatuating with women. The law of survival of the fittest and survival of the fittest is still adapted to today's society. This can't help but become an important reason for their emotional derailment and empathy. Because in today's society, there are still a small number of men who hold power and wealth, and men are the main reason for seducing and causing women to cheat.

Rich and noble**, poor thieves. One is the helplessness of raising a family, and the other is the man's own feelings. Men can't be too poor, they can't be too rich, it's easy to sin when they're poor, and it's easy to cheat when they're rich. Either one can be extremely unstable for the family and marriage. Therefore, it is difficult for women to feel confident in marriage and family.

The reason why dreams are associated with marriage is because marriage is too realistic and utilitarian, and the implicit and hidden vanity and vanity in love are naked in marriage. Dreams are like the moon in the night sky to us, illuminating our night path, but keeping us out of reach. However, in marriage, one reality after another is pursued. If there's anything as far out of reach as the moon, I'm afraid no one will pursue it. Marriage and family are all about living a real life day by day, working to earn money, spending money on groceries, and eating three meals a day. If you are going to pin your dreams on marriage, then, you will definitely be disappointed.

There is also a phenomenon of dreams, when you pursue it, you will find it difficult, but once your dream comes true, you will feel unimpressed. Just like we look at the flowers in the fog and the moon in the water, the flowers and the moon are so magical and poetic, but when we look at the flowers and the moon clearly, there is no longer that hazy magical feeling. The same is true of marriage, when we fall in love, we regard marriage as a sacred and beautiful pursuit of life, but when we really get married and become a family, we will find that marriage is indeed the grave of love. This is because you want to pursue more love in marriage, and marriage will make you feel like a boat to the dock and a car to the station, just like a small boat has experienced the waves of the river and the sea, and finally reached the other side. However, nothing can be satisfied, just like water, once it is full, it will overflow, and there will be an effect that the extreme of things will be reversed. The mistake of marriage is that it is easy to make love satisfied. Whatever is satisfied, it is no longer cherished and precious. This is the satisfaction effect, the effect of the opposite of things, and the effect of people liking the new and hating the old and seeing different ideas.

People often feel anxious and sad, which is due to a sense of discomfort with today's society and a sense of anxiety about the survival of ancient human beings. Marriage itself has the meaning of keeping men and women together, but there are many decisive factors in whether they can hold each other tightly. This decisive factor can sometimes be a major family incident, but more often than not, it is a trivial matter. There are many reasons why two people love each other, but there are also many reasons why they don't love each other. Everyone has many reasons to get a divorce, but there will also be many reasons not to get a divorce. Sometimes divorce is to swing on both sides of the middle line, feeling that life is aggrieved if you don't get divorced, and you feel a lot of harm when you get divorced.

In fact, the real divorce is not because of extreme poverty, unable to open the pot, and unable to live a life, but because of all kinds of desires and ideas. And these various desires and thoughts are like a dream tempting us, but when we actually get it, we find that it is not our dream at all.

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