You are the scenery of my lifeZhang Baotong 2018.2.11

The biggest regret in life is that I can't be united with the person I love. This is not only my regret, but also the pain and sorrow of my life. But what can be done about this? People are like this in this life, sometimes the person you love and the person who loves you are not the same person, and the person who marries you and starts a family is another person. I've said this to many people, but not to the people I want to say the most. It's not that I don't have a chance, it's that I've never dared to say it to her. I want to say it to her again when I am separated from her.

The class reunion ended yesterday morning, and many students from other places left one after another, but Wang Yuxia has not left yet, so I don't want to leave immediately. It was the morning after the reunion, and Wang Yuxia called me and asked me to accompany her to take another look at the family area and the school in Miluo 6. This is the hot land and former home of our hearts and dreams, where the good years and happy times of our childhood and youth are left. More than 30 years later, that time and experience still haunt us and make us unforgettable. This reunion of classmates and revisiting the old place is to relive the unforgettable thoughts and attachments.

When I came to room 304, Wang Yuxia had already packed her backpack and suitcase, and was sitting on the edge of the bed reading a book, waiting for me. She wore a light blue shirt and plain white slacks, and her hair was neatly and neatly cut. Over the years, she has not changed much, she never wears skirts, nor does she wear fancy clothes, she doesn't even like makeup, she always cleans herself up neatly and refreshingly, giving people a plain, dignified and confident feeling. She is the most beautiful girl in our school, she loves to read, she has been a member of the study committee in the class, and she is the baby daughter of the director of our engineering department, so she has a noble temperament that is elegant and beautiful. Although he is now in his fifties, the elegance and solemnity of the splendor is still charming.

Although my academic performance in the past was always average, and I didn't usually read much, I like women who read books, and women who read books have a bookish atmosphere, elegant and beautiful, and unfathomable. The posture of a woman reading a book is not only elegant, but also admirable and respectful. Especially now that people are keen to play with their mobile phones and read WeChat, how can anyone still read books?

I asked her what she was reading. She lit up the book at me. I asked for the book from her, a collection of poems called "You Are the Landscape of My Life". I thought this book was very good, so I opened it and read it aloud: "Thousands of miles apart, but my heart is close at hand, I always think of your dream-like shadow, because you are the scenery of my life." Reverie indulged, vaguely still in a dream, my infatuation is looking forward to the warmth of your veins, but you are my distant scenery. Lonely lovesickness, late autumn flower season, can my sorrow enter your sunny heart? You are the scenery that I can't forget. ”

After reading the poem, I put the book aside and looked at her with appreciative eyes, a little frivolous and a little presumptuous, because I could feel a seductive poetry and warmth from her expression. I even wanted to pounce on her, hold her tightly in my arms, and kiss her unremittingly. I have a lifelong longing and impulse for her in my heart.

She frowned, looked at me in amazement, and asked why you were looking at me like that. I say because you're so pretty, so cute. She smiled slightly and asked me when I noticed her prettyness. I said in the fourth grade, maybe in the first grade. Because we have been in the same class since we were children.

She blinked her eyes and smiled questioningly, "Why have I never heard you say that?" Yes, she has been as beautiful as a flower since she was a child, but I have never dared to look at her with my eyes, and I think it is disrespectful, because she is too perfect and too tall and too noble in my mind. Therefore, I only dared to look at her secretly with a tactful gaze, and never dared to look at her with a serious gaze, for I was afraid that she would see the secret of my heart. But now I don't want to keep this secret hidden, I want to vent it and express it. I will take this goddess in my arms in a rude and brutal way to fulfill one of my long-awaited wishes.

I took advantage of her smile at me, lunged at her, pressed her down on the bed, and kissed her like crazy. I knew she wouldn't turn me down and wouldn't get angry. She was like a docile lamb, pressed and kissed by me, and looked at me with joy and appreciation. After a while, she suddenly pushed me away, sat up from the bed, and asked me in an angry and complaining tone, since you love me, why didn't you say it to me earlier?

I said, "Who would dare to say such a thing to you at that time?" How many boys in our class are in love with you, but who has told you? She nodded and said, "Yes, there were 38 lines between male and female classmates at that time, not only in the middle of the desks, but also between each other.

After a while, she said, "You remember one time someone put a pencil sharpener in my pencil case, and I thought it was a misdemeanor and gave it to the teacher." When I think about it now, I feel so stupid, stupid. I sat down next to her, held one of her hands tightly, let out a long breath, and said to her, "Do you know who put the pencil sharpener in your pencil case?" she said she didn't know. I said it was me, it was brought to me by my aunt when she came back from a business trip to Shanghai, and I was reluctant to use it and wanted to give it to you. However, you gave it to the teacher.

She was very surprised, and said, "How could it be you?" I said because I like you, because I think you are more important than myself. She immediately pulled her hand away from my hand, and said with some annoyance, "Then why don't you tell me?" I said that I dare not say it, I am afraid that you will scold me and look down on me, and I am afraid that my classmates will know and laugh at me and talk about me.

She sighed, and said in a reproachful tone, "Since you didn't dare say it to me at the time, but you should have said it to me that time when I lived in the same room with you?" But, that night, I waited for you until late at night, and you didn't say a word to me. Do you know why I have to let you come home with me to visit my family? I shook my head and said I don't know. Wang Yuxia said, I thought you really liked me and loved me, but I slept next to you that night, but you didn't even say a word to me, which made me very annoyed, thinking that you didn't like me at all and didn't love me.