Still waiting for Zhang Baotong's translation on August 14, 2018

I've been waiting for the day of September 29th because I've been so excited that I haven't been able to sleep well and woke up early. I arrived at the airport at 9 a.m. and I knew he would arrive at 11 a.m. However, he did not arrive on time. I waited until 7 p.m., but I still didn't see him. I started to get very worried and nervous.

I tried to contact him and his friend on my phone, but I couldn't get through. Because I was so worried about him, I hid in the bathroom and started crying. It was dark, and I waited until 9 o'clock, but there was still no message from him, so I had to leave the airport.

I felt very tired and anxious because I didn't see him. It never occurred to me that he might not have come, or that he was fooling me. I just had a bad feeling that something had happened, so I was so worried that I cried for days.

On October 1st, I received an offline message from his dad in the office.

"Hello my daughter,

I'm Lessing's father, and I'm telling you right now that I'm in Nigeria, West Africa, because I got a phone call that my son and his best friend, Mitchell, had been in a car accident on their way to your country. My son died instantly. Mitchell is still in the hospital. Therefore, I want to tell you that you have to go back to your husband so that he can take care of your children, because your children need a father. Now that I've lost everything I have in this world, I don't know what I want to do. I can't let my only son leave me like that. Mitchell said to me that before he died, he said that you should go back to your husband so that he can take care of your children, and that he loves you very much. He was sorry for not being able to buy your child the very good things he had promised. My daughter, I am writing this letter to you with tears in my eyes, but I know that no matter how long I cry, I will not be able to bring my son back. I'd like you to be stronger, okay? If you need anything, I can mail it to you. See you now. ”

I felt numb all over my body, and then I burst into tears. I don't care that my colleagues are crying when they look at me. As I looked at his dad's message, I was shaking and I didn't know where to go. I want to run to see him and talk to him. I want his dad to retract what he just said and tell me it's all a lie. How could my beloved leave me like this? How could God take back the gift given to me? We haven't even begun to realize our common plans and dreams.

I felt like the walking dead that day, but I didn't feel lonely or cold. I cried day and night. I was talking to his picture, letting his soul appear, and even begging him to appear in my dreams so we could be together. I didn't dare to think about it, I loved him so much. I don't know why God had to take away the happiness He gave me like this. Why did he take away the love that had just arrived like this?

I don't know why fate would play such a cruel joke on me. The email his father sent me on September 29 was updated, but it was sent to my spam email, not to my inbox. His dad gave me an offline message because he said I could not respond.

I've been texting him every day since he died. I also emailed him. I was hoping for a reply from him, like I was grasping at a life-saving straw, but I couldn't stop and I didn't want to. I want him to know that I love him so much and that nothing has changed. To this day, I still don't understand why God took Lessing away from me. Why would my lover leave me and refuse to keep his promise?

My life is not a fairy tale, fairy tales only exist in storybooks. However, I knew that in these four short months, I had experienced a fairy tale: a fairy tale about myself. Although this did not bring me happiness, it did make me know my Prince Charming. He gave me a lot of happiness. He gave me real love, and that love was all Lessing could give me.