Zhang Baotong is alive in hopelessness 2018.6.26

There is only one life and one death in a person's life, and what is to be born is meaningful and what is to die is valuable. That is to say, people should live a wonderful life when they are alive, and they should not have too many regrets when they die. But for some people, this is very heavy. There are people who are alive, but as if they have been sentenced to death, they are tormented by boundless pain and remorse all day long, and there is no hope in sight.

During this time, my father-in-law has been hospitalized, and I have also taken several shifts to take care of him. There were four patients living in the ward, and next to my father-in-law's bed was a 63-year-old man, two years older than me, who had seen a lot of people and had an easy-going temperament, and sometimes wanted to talk to others. We've talked a few times, and we're getting acquainted with each other. He used to be a contractor, married three times, and had two daughters. His current lover used to be a singer, but he treated him well and served him very carefully.

When I first met him, his entire skin was a little yellowish and he was very thin. Because he was in the hepatology department, I knew he had liver disease. Because yellow bile is the accumulation of bilirubin, it will cause yellow symptoms on the skin and whites of the eyes. This is a significant sign of hepatitis. He told me that he had a tumor on his liver, had undergone surgery at Xijing Hospital, and had undergone chemotherapy for a period of time. During that time, he lost his hair, vomited, and lost skin all day long, and tortured him half to death. The number of people has also dropped from more than 70 kilograms to about 50 kilograms. Soon, however, another tumor reappeared. This time, he didn't dare to have another operation, first, because he felt that he couldn't bear it, and secondly, he was afraid that the tumor would be stimulated and it would kill him. Because he felt that the effect of Western medicine in treating tumors was not very good, and the cost of medicine was too expensive, he was transferred to the Provincial Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine for inpatient treatment. He said that the treatment here is not so uncomfortable and the cost is much less. However, he also knew that no matter where he was, he could not cure his illness, but only allowed his life to continue. Listening to him, I said that then you have no hope at all. He sighed and said, what hope is there, let's live one day at a time.

These few shifts to care for patients, I feel that time flies very slowly, which makes people feel very tormented. However, when I see the patient again, I will take injections, I will be examined, I will take medicine, I will be nauseous and vomiting for a while, I will sleep on the hospital bed, I will feel uncomfortable, I will sit up, but after sitting for a while, I will feel dizzy and lie down again. My wife and I rotate between taking care of the patients, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Just these four or five hours made me feel miserable, but when I think about the patients, they have been living in the ward for half a month and half a month, and they don't know when they will be discharged. The man told me that he would stay for at least half a year, and when he recovered a little, he would go home and rest for a while, and then he would have to come to the hospital. Because he can't do without the hospital.

However, his wife treated him well, bought him good food, wiped him with a towel all day, fanned him with a fan, and talked and chatted with him. That day, he said that he wanted to eat braised yellow chicken, so his wife bought him one. However, after only a few bites, I couldn't eat anymore. He also said that he wanted to eat fresh peaches, and his wife bought him a bag, but he only ate one bite and stopped eating them. He said he wanted to eat, but after eating a little, he couldn't eat it, and he couldn't help it.

I heard that he had two daughters, but they hadn't seen him for several days. One day, his youngest daughter came, born to his current wife, who was about eighteen or nineteen years old. The daughter was quite close to her, bought him a tube of medicine, and squeezed to smear the medicine on his body. I asked him what he was applying the medicine for, and he said it was itchy all over. I said if it was allergic to medicine. He said it was caused by the secretion of yellow bile in the liver. I couldn't help frowning, thinking that if people lived to such a point, it would be really painful to die.

Once, he told me that his illness was caused by drinking all day when he was a contractor. I think if he had known that this was going to happen, would he have drunk in the first place? Of course not. However, who doesn't know that drinking and smoking is a chronic suicide? Even cigarette packs are printed with a reminder that "smoking is harmful to health," but don't smokers still smoke, and people who drink alcohol are not still drinking? When they come to the doctor again when they are suffering from liver cancer or lung cancer, and some of them are too late, which doctor can revive the patients with liver cancer and lung cancer? My best friend when I was a child was a leader in the engineering team and ate and drank all day long, and he got liver disease in his 40s, and died of cirrhosis of the liver just after he turned 50. My stepfather died not long after he developed three cancer lumps in his lungs because of smoking. In fact, there are thousands of people who suffer from liver and lung diseases from drinking and smoking? However, I wonder if they are really not afraid of death? Is smoking and drinking really more important than their lives? Otherwise, if a person is to play with his body and health, then no one can save him. Just like someone who wants to commit suicide, he can't stop it.

It's just that drinking and smoking is a chronic suicide, not to let you end your life all at once, but to use the disease to torture you and destroy you, so that you have no quality, no dignity, no hope, and life is better than death. In fact, it is better to live like this than to die, but the desire for life and nostalgia for this world make him not want to leave.

The reason why some people are stupid is that they don't know the value and meaning of living in this world, and they don't know how to cherish life and love themselves. We live in this world, not to mention what we can create and contribute to this world, at least we can make ourselves and our families live a peaceful and happy life. However, smoking and drinking alcohol is not only self-destructive, but also harming your family and loved ones. Because smoking and drinking not only consume money, but also pollute the family environment and set a very bad example for children, because this bad disease is easy to spread to children, and even cause congenital defects to future generations. If you fall ill as a result, you will have to take care of your family and loved ones, and if the illness is severe, it can have catastrophic consequences for yourself and your family.

Don't be foolish enough to think that the country is serving alcohol and cigarettes, and you can enjoy it to your heart's content. That is because the country has to rely on a large number of smokers and drinkers to feed tens of millions of citizens. While drinking and smoking is a vice, it's also a choice. Just like there are many people who play ball and run, but you don't want to choose to play ball and run, you just like to smoke and drink. However, when you really get sick from smoking and drinking, you may not be able to quit smoking and drinking.

Of course, not all smokers and drinkers will suffer from lung and liver diseases, but it is an indisputable fact that smoking and drinking alcohol are very harmful to the lungs and liver, and the probability of diseases and cancer caused by smoking and drinking is very high, more than 20 times higher than that of non-smoking and drinking people. So, no matter who you are, you shouldn't take that risk.

The world is beautiful, life is beautiful, life is also beautiful, I hope that each of us can live safely and healthily, happily and happily, instead of living in the pain of hopelessness, because without hope, our life will become meaningless, we no longer have any value in life, and the world and life in front of us will be boundless darkness.

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