Leaving Hongchen is lonely Zhang Baotong 2017.6.15

Hongchen was referred to as a prosperous city in ancient times, from the Eastern Han Dynasty writer and historian Ban Gu's poem "Western Capital Fu": "Red dust is four, smoke and clouds are connected." Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 "info" refers to the dust raised by the dirt road after the carriage and horses in ancient times, which is the road to fame and fortune, and also the hustle and bustle of the world.

When I was young, I watched "Dream of Red Mansions", and there was a sentence in it: "Baoyu was originally enlightened, and after being enlightened, he saw through the red dust early." So I was influenced by some similar thoughts that saw through the red dust. At that time, I had been working hard, but because I was not very enlightened in interpersonal relations and dealing with people, the road of life was difficult and bumpy, and I often felt sad and angry because of some injustices, and I had some thoughts of seeing through the red dust, imagining that the ancient hermit was tired of the hypocrisy of officialdom and the glitz of the world, yearning for the idyllic life of the mountains and forests, and longing to leave the city and go to the remote and uninhabited mountains and forests to live alone. This kind of thinking has influenced me for many years, but for various reasons, it has not been possible.

It wasn't until I recently retired from my post that I was idle, so I decided to realize the dreams and wishes that had been hidden in my heart for many years, and wanted to experience the remote and uninhabited mountain forest. In fact, at this time, I had seen many things clearly, and I no longer took that dream and wish very seriously, and I felt that the dream and wish seemed somewhat naïve and ridiculous. However, I still really want to experience it, because it has been my dream and desire for many years, or I can think of it as a solo trip and a unique experience, if in today's terms, a short-term monasticism.

I was introduced by an acquaintance to Nanwutai, which is the closest to Xi'an, as a place for short-term ordination. Following the address given to me by the acquaintance, I first took a car to Nanwutai, and then walked along a mountain road towards the mountains. The road is very difficult to walk, it is completely over mountains and mountains and wading through mountains and rivers, and after walking for about two or three hours, there are almost no people to see. Occasionally you can see one or two

The small temple of the mountain temple only houses three or two monks. I walked all the way and asked all the way, and I didn't find Lingxin Temple until four o'clock in the afternoon. Lingxin Temple is located on a small and not tall mountain, this mountain is called Wild Boar Ridge, and it is said that wild boars are often infested there. Strangely enough, the surrounding hills were covered with dense trees, but only the boar ridge was bare, with only patches of barren grass growing, and some wheat was planted in the reclaimed field. Wheat grows very thin and short.

On the top of the hill are two small mud houses, and next to the small houses is a small temple of only five or six square meters, which is also made of mud. The small temple has no door, and there is only one idol inside, and on either side of the idol is a couplet. In front of the idol is a small bowl of incense. The dwellers' huts are very dilapidated, not to mention a magnitude 7 earthquake, even a magnitude 5 earthquake can collapse the hut. The hut was just closed, not locked. I knocked on the door but there was no answer, so I pushed it open. It was a little dark in the house, so I opened the door to let the sunlight in. The room was very basic, with only a small bed, a small table, and a large wooden box. The mosquito nets on the beds were old and yellow. I opened the big wooden box, and it was filled with wheat. The cottage next to the cottage was the kitchen, which contained an earthen stove and a small dining table. There were several dishes on the table, and some flies were crawling on them. There is a bucket and a plastic basin on the ground. There is half a basin of dirty water in the basin.

Since there was no one in the house, I sat in front of the hut and waited. It wasn't until it was almost dark that anyone came. The person who came was naturally the owner of this hut, named Monk Yunmeng. He was dressed in monastic clothes, with long hair and a long beard, and he looked like he was in his fifties, but he was very athletic and walked briskly. He seemed glad to see me coming. I told him that I had been introduced by Changsheng. He asked me what I was doing. Then he told me that Chang Sheng was an orphan, his apprentice, and he had only lived here for half a month, and he couldn't stay.

As he spoke to me, he began to roll noodles with the noodles. When the noodles are cooked, splash the oil and take out a clove of garlic and put it on the table, even if it is a dish. After eating, it was dark, he picked up the erhu and sat in the moonlight in front of the door and began to play the erhu. Because the wind was quite strong at night and there were not many mosquitoes, I listened to the erhu and looked at the night scene and thought about my thoughts. The next morning, I wanted to go to the toilet, but he said that there was no toilet, so I asked me to find a convenient place because there are usually no people here. Then he took me to dig potatoes. But because of the poor land, the potatoes grew very small, the size of a glass marble. After digging the potatoes, I went with him to draw water. The water was on the opposite hill, and on the hill there was a very small mountain spring, and the water flowed in a small pit dug by a man. There is a layer of small red bugs on the stagnant water in the small pit, which looks very disgusting and crooked. However, it is the water that we eat and drink.

I usually have two meals here, and after breakfast, it was ten o'clock, and he took me out to play. I walked more than ten miles with him to another larger temple. There were five or six monks living here. They got together and started playing mahjong. I had nothing to do, just walking around the nearby mountains and looking at the scenery. After taking a look at the surrounding scenery, I went back to the temple to watch them play mahjong. They play a five-dollar, ten-dollar game, which is the same as in the mahjong parlor in the family area, except that their tables are not electric because they don't have electricity here. It was about four o'clock and it was time for dinner, so we left here and headed back. On the way, I asked them how they dared to play such a big game with no income. He said that they sometimes helped others and could earn some money.

Sure enough, there were dead people in some places, and early in the morning of the third day, someone came to ask him to come over to help, so he took the erhu to play music for others. From morning to ten o'clock in the evening, I earned two hundred yuan a day. And he eats, drinks, and smokes. That day, I followed him for a busy day, and it was not until the evening that the scene was finished and the scene was dismissed, and then I started to go home along the moonlit mountain road. Because of the long distance, we walked for almost two hours before we got back to the house. As soon as I got back inside, I was so tired that I couldn't even lift my feet, so I got into the mosquito net and lay down on the bed and fell asleep. However, after sleeping for a while, I felt that my body was itching terribly, and I used a flashlight to shine it and found several big red bumps on my body, as if they had been bitten by fleas. So, I shone a flashlight on the bed, and as soon as I lifted the quilt, I saw two fleas jumping on the bed, but I didn't catch them. I woke him up and said that there were fleas on the bed, and tried to get him up to help catch them, but he rolled over and fell asleep again. And I didn't sleep well all night.

In the past, I always regarded seeing through the red dust as a return to simplicity and nature, but when I really entered the free, simple, and natural forest or mountain living environment from the prosperous life like smoke and clouds, I realized that the life of a monk was actually very monotonous, lonely, and lonely, and even very poor and hard. The temple is very remote, there are no lights and televisions, mobile phones, newspapers, television, Internet access, as well as rides, shopping, food and entertainment seem to be fantastical, and even the most indispensable in life is very inconvenient to go to the toilet and bathe. At this time, I realized that Tao Yuanming's poem "Picking chrysanthemums under the east fence and leisurely looking at Nanshan" is just an idealistic poetry and artistic conception. That kind of realm can only make us yearn for it, but it can't let us live for a long time. Originally, I thought I would have to stay there for at least half a month, but on the morning of the fourth day, I left there in a hurry and returned to the city.

Many people want to see through the red dust and stay away from the world, but how many people can really see through the red dust and get away from the world? We have a rich imagination and dreams. We always imagine the place we yearn for to be very mysterious and beautiful. Over time, this kind of mysterious and beautiful feelings has become a kind of wish and dream that we yearn for. However, when we really walk into the place we have been longing for for a long time, we will find that it is not as mysterious and beautiful as we imagined. It's like people yearn for marriage, but once they enter marriage, they feel that marriage is not beautiful, or even troublesome. Moreover, our living habits can only adapt to a more and more comfortable life, but we cannot adapt to a more and more difficult life. The instinct of human life is to love pleasure and excitement, and to fear hunger, cold and loneliness. Otherwise, people will desperately rush to crowded places and crowded places that are bustling.

For people, poverty means hunger, lack of clothing and lack of shelter; And this feeling is often felt when people are lonely and lonely. I remember that a few years ago, I went to Foping in southern Shaanxi, which is a primeval forest and a sanctuary for rare animals such as giant pandas. People in the county town have to take a car to the forestry bureau work area to enter the reserve, and then walk for several hours to reach the reserve. There are more than a dozen stations in the reserve, some of which have only one house and one or two people living there. Protection personnel can only return to their homes once in the county seat after staying at the protection station for several weeks or a month or two. In addition, there are many young workers in the protection staff of the protection substation. Because they are too lonely and lonely to stay alone in the mountains and forests, they have to bring their girlfriends to the mountains to accompany them, and those who have been married always bring their wives with them to accompany them. Because they are afraid to endure this endless loneliness and loneliness for many years.

In fact, when we see through the red dust, we have to see through the rights and wrongs of the world, but the worldly red dust cannot be seen through in our lifetime. People have complex and changeable feelings, feelings, and desires. When you are hungry and want to eat, when you are full, you want a woman, when you have a woman and you want to have a child, you want to live in the mountains and the countryside after staying in the city for a long time, but you want to go back to the city immediately after staying in the country and the mountains for a few days. Our feelings, feelings, and desires are so changeable, there will be different wishes in different places, and there will be different expectations in different times, but what people strive for is the comfort and beauty of life. The worldly red dust contains the lights and wine, and the fine clothes and food, which is exactly the life needs that ordinary people dream of. Therefore, although people yearn to stay away from the world in thought, they are inseparable from the world in practical life. Those so-called hermits who see through the red dust and live in seclusion in the mountains and forests can only be regarded as a formal seclusion, but they can really achieve the state of mind of forgetting things and self, and can eliminate noisy interference in the most secular downtown and enjoy themselves, which is a more profound realm.

If we really want to leave the red dust behind for a while, experience the taste of returning to simplicity, and fulfill one of our own wishes, we might as well take a difficult trip to the countryside or become a monk for a short time, so as to understand and appreciate another life. Even so, this is still inseparable from the worldly red dust, so sometimes you want to get out of the worldly world in front of you, but unexpectedly you enter another kind of red dust. In short, I still can't get rid of a vulgar word.

"In the middle of the night, I listened to the chickens comb their white hair, and the morning went into the red dust." There should be two realms in life, one is to be able to endure loneliness, work hard, and strive for self-improvement; Loneliness is about exertion, while the world is about pleasure. Although we are in the red dust, our hearts should transcend the earthly world and yearn for innocence and beauty. In this way, we will be able to enjoy the two beautiful realms of earthly and innocent.